Reviews for O C Chronicles 1 of 22: Ninjas, pranks and ramen |
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Miss Raspberries chapter 73 . 3/11/2013 *sniffles* i remember that eps. when lee was told he may never be a ninja again...but thats what made the eps where he fought Kimimaru SO AWSOME! it was also sad, the eps where Konohamaru locked himself away inside the Hokages office. :( made me cry a bit. Lolz this show was great at making me cry! |
drago123 chapter 10 . 2/2/2013 Ahaha i actually found that i enjoyed reading your story... though some parts were really really frustrating... there is absolutely no change to the naruto universe with your OCs so ultimately... they feel kind of pointless... and i still don't know why Kakashi have a six men team while others have only 3... and lets no forget it seems like everybody can use shadow clone which ultimately... makes naruto feel really weak and useless... and I can get really confuse with your characters as they just kept changing their personality and it makes it into a mind f*ck... it is very interesting to see your OCs and their really fun to read... but the mistakes you made is literally raping the naruto universe... Shadow clone is a jounin techinique! how the hell does so many genin know it!? I find myself almost screaming in frustration on the mistakes you made and almost want to rage quit and stop reading. but i stop my self from doing that because if i ignore the naruto universe rape and the personality change... it is a great story... but it doesn't make it easier for me... though i have to say that this story is awesome... |
ghanaboy chapter 1 . 12/15/2012 Great story keep it up |
jonathan lobo chapter 36 . 12/14/2012 I'm sorry but I'm just not seeing your oc change the cannon story. If you went the trouble to adding new ppl then have their action have a more profound effect. You don't need to follow cannon. Show us how you can bring about a better ending or story that the old version of naruto. Show that the world isn't the same. If your just gonna repeat cannon with a couple OC's then ppl won't take you seriously. Their needs to more substance than a new background character. Sure it's not the same but to just keep the same hashed plot is just not the way to go. Naruto went to school with torbu he had a rival for pranking that in and of itself should have a different a more profound change. when you write a story i know it hard to change what already there but you can go on like this. we already know about naruto the moron and loyal idiot. use your story to show something better and take it to new hieghts. let us see naruto the scholar, the even more devious pranker, the supsious, the smart, the jerk, the playboy, or anything. show us the way you want naruto, you Oc can't just be a side or dlc for the story make it something new a profound. I'm not bagging on your story but i am saying is that your better than this. |
Miss Raspberries chapter 63 . 11/3/2012 Hey, he did the best he could, mizuki teme. Lolz finally done w/ the training! :) wonder where naruto is in his now... |
LinIsSleepy chapter 21 . 9/22/2012 I like how you intertwined Torabu in with the fight. Now sKura doesn't have to throw that kunai to catch Naruto. Hear that Sakura? You don't have to do anything! But by all means, get on Sasuke's case for freezing in fear. |
LinIsSleepy chapter 20 . 9/22/2012 Torabu... I love how he handled those ninja with he earth scroll. Keep up the good work. |
LinIsSleepy chapter 19 . 9/22/2012 As I was reading this chapter, a 'brofisted' my twin sister and said, "We're gonna be great Chunin, Believe it!" |
LinIsSleepy chapter 18 . 9/19/2012 Writing Ibiki's monologue must be difficult. |
LinIsSleepy chapter 17 . 9/19/2012 I... I can't describe how awesome your writing is. I love Torabu to death. |
Miss Raspberries chapter 56 . 8/25/2012 *sniffles* oh I can never watch this eps and not cry. Geez naruto was so sad in the first series. |
Miss Raspberries chapter 54 . 8/2/2012 ...*sniffles* omg...I remember...every single time I would watch naruto and it would bring up naruto or gaara's past I would cry. :( it made me so angry the way they were treated. Like, I know it's just a cartoon, but still! |
Miss Raspberries chapter 52 . 7/24/2012 Roflz then practice if u aren't good at them! XD It was still a good chp though. :D u've fit the events ur characters create so well w/ the actual series plot. U even remembered to kill off dosu! |
Neurophysiologic chapter 1 . 7/20/2012 I simply read the first chapter. And I realize that you're far beyond that. I just couldn't get past your Original Character being a little prankster. Sounds far too much like Naruto. Honestly I couldn't read any further because of the Grammar and writing style. I cannot say this is a terrible story. It just isn't for me. |
riddelable chapter 42 . 5/4/2012 I really like the story so far, but most of it is stuff that doesn't have to be there. We already know what happens in the plot, but some of it doesn't really have much to do with the OC characters. For example, you really didn't have to describe Naruto's training that much, if at all. Otherwise, I really like Torabu and how he has a carefree personality. |