Reviews for The Fourth Champion |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() This was a really cool story. I hope someday we get to see where you would take it from here. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Such a good story. I think I liked it more this time than the first time I read it. Too bad your muse never gave you an idea for the sequel. |
![]() ![]() ![]() So many stories written this long ago were made by children, it's great to read a story with adult 'things' from an adult. Love, great friends and sacrifice are adult things. Well... Off to the next adventure! |
![]() ![]() ![]() I can already tell something certain about this Fic. It'll be too short. Excellent writer! Wonderful story! |
![]() ![]() ![]() every chapter I try to guess who Harry will end up with. It'd be great if it was Susan, but I can't help but feel you are throwing another red herring out. LOL |
![]() ![]() ![]() Luna has always been my fav character. she's funny without meaning to be too. That was hilarious. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hmmm... Susan, Hermione, Luna, Gabrielle, Ginny, Tracy, all the 4th year Ravenclaws, etc, etc. Well, you said "she" would be in this chapter, didn't you. LOL! Too bad the adults aren't considering the fact that Peter might have been there and seen that Harry was alive on that Halloween night. In canon he was there in his rat form and took Voldie's wand. I'm greatly enjoying the story, so I hope you don't mind the "nit-picking". Here goes. So, FYI, Hogwarts is a ten-month school, they have two months off, not three. If Harry goes to school for three months and then has two weeks off, the time off will land at the end of November. The Tri-Wiz names were drawn on Halloween, so Harry was on vacation a month early? It seems no one else noticed so I'll pretend to overlook those details even though I've now pointed them out to you. Can't even begin to guess who Harry will date here, hoping for Luna, Susan or Hermione. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wait now. In chapter One, Albus told Sirius that it was due to Snape that the Potters were (supposedly) protected, and Sirius said, "Then I owe him (Snape) more than I can ever repay". NOW he is calling Snape a murderer? Do you not know what you write in your own story? Also, Albus said rules state Harry cannot ask for help from Teachers or judges. Then says Sirius can't help him? Sirius is neither judge nor teacher, Anyway, OTHER than that, it's a very interesting story. I like the changes as to what would happen at Hogwarts without Harry being there and in the middle of everything. Also, most authors write a "Ginny dies in the chamber without Harry to save her". This is a refreshing change |
![]() ![]() ![]() A typo, "I swear I know you're name", should be "I swear I know you'r name". |
![]() ![]() ![]() Typo's, "skrewt was no inspecting", should be "skrewt was now inspecting", "I'm meting my godfather", should be "I'm meeting my godfather", AND "I think you know severus", should be "I think you know Severus". |
![]() ![]() ![]() A typo "it's no nig deal", should be "it's no big deal". |
![]() ![]() ![]() A couple of typo's, "he head bowed, should be "her head bowed" AND, "being and animagus", should be "being an Animagus". |
![]() ![]() ![]() Several typo's "some manners form Potter", should be "some manners from Potter", "Ron Weasley of Dean Thomas", should be "Ron Weasley or Dean Thomas" and "Nagini as returned", should be "Nagini has returned". |
![]() ![]() ![]() A couple of typo's, "A girl is able to change her mine", should be "a girl is able to change her mind" AND, "get in the Goblet of fire", should be "get in the Goblet of Fire". |
![]() ![]() ![]() Incredibly well written. |