|Reviews for some hearts|
| The Ghost Writers chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
Your fic has come into the attention of the Ghost Writers, due to its excellent quality.
The emotion in this fic is very well communicated. The way you draw parallels between characters is clever, and serves to emphasize the impact of the fic.
Your prose is very descriptive, and the various contrasts you draw throughout the fic are well-used and interesting. This is probably one of the best Valentine's-Day-related fics to be found in the PJO fandom!
For the above reasons, your story has been added to The Ghost Writers Community - The Fame Magnets. It has also been given the status of "Ghost Writers Approved", something given only to truly great stories. We would be honoured if you were to insert "Ghost Writers Approved" into the summary of your story.
For more information, visit our forum:
forum . fanfiction forum/Ghost_Writers/105367/
Congratulations, and keep writing!
| Proud to be Plug chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
This is very good, well-written and it hits the right emotional notes. My best guess to what Rachel drew is Nico, but I'm not sure.
No major grammar errors, and the three of them flow into one another nicely. It's a nice contrast of angst and romance, which creates the emotions vey effectively in the reader. This seems to be one of your main strengths: the ability to make the reader really feel the emotion the character is feeling.
Overall, good job!
| rainingtearsofchocolate chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
I liked this. Poor people. xD Although, while the first two sections were easy to figure out, the third wasn't. It's rather clear that Rachel is the "she." But who did she draw? Nico? Or someone else? Maybe it was an OC. :o xD
Hmm. Well, I liked it. Everyone was IC and realistic. Well, I guess you can't really know if the second girl was IC yet, but still. xD
"She knows that bubbly feelings like—like the l-word are completely against her nature..." Did you do that just because you weren't allowed to say "love"? xDD
"Because it's that special day; the one where girls expect to get chocolates and sappy letters and be pampered, the one where guys try to shuffle through it, salvaging as much of their manly pride as they can." That semicolon is incorrect, because what follows is not a complete sentence. I'd suggest a dash.
"Jason Grace is talking to Piper in the dining hall, sitting at her table and not even caring that they weren't supposed to be together." You switched tenses. "Weren't" should be "aren't."
"...and heading towards her only sanctuary." I know I'm guilty of this as well, but I don't think "towards" is correct. I think it's supposed to be "toward."
"Instead of working on anything blueprints for the rebuilding of Olympus..." "Anything blueprints"? Should that "anything" be there?
"... and holding a picture of them; revisiting the memories she once thought were too painful to bear ..." That semicolon is again incorrect. A comma could replace it.
"The panic in her voice when his mother called her asking if she'd seen them." I think "them" should be "him." I could be wrong, but you're just talking about Percy, right, and not someone else as well?
"She has realized that nearly a year ago, when her boyfriend of a seven months had mysteriously gone missing, only to be replaced by a black-haired amnesiac with eyes the color of the sea." Two things here. "A seven months" should just be "seven months." And you switched tenses in the beginning. "She has realized that a year ago" should be "She had realized that a year ago," if I read that sentence correctly.
"Then he went back to talking to the dark-haired beauty..." Since the rest of this paragraph is in present tense, "went" should be "goes."
"She loved her job, really ..." I thought you couldn't say that word. :o
"And while knowing what the day is, knowing that most girls have boyfriends to return to once their school year is finished stings; knowing that she could never have him is what hurts the most." That semicolon should again be a comma.
So, I liked it, but I suggest reading things over more carefully when you write them that early. xD
| inactiveMLD chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
Every time I write, I'm like "Yay I wrote something that isn't too bad! :D" and then I read your writing and I think, " D: I'm a fail...I should give up writing..."
So yeah. Apart from being overwhelmed with awesomeness... I like. I think you portrayed Annabeth well. *feels unqualified to give review*
Have a smiley face :)
| the loudest sound chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
I liked it! I really did. It was raw emotion, and pretty good for being written at 3-5 (although, when has that ever stopped us writers?). I enjoyed reading it.
I haven't had the chance to read chapter 2 and 3 of Bloody Morning, but I'm planning reading them soon. My to do list has gotten larger and longer and it's driving me insane. Not that I was sane before, but you get the meaning.
ANYWAY, cannot wait for part III of Camp Gladius! So seriously, tell your beta to please hurry. On second thought, that would be rather rude...oh well ;)
| SydneyLouWho chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
Gorgeous, Theia, absolutely gorgeous. And terribly sad, too.
I wish I could write like you. Unfortunately, though, I can't. Y'know, if most authors had half as much writing talent as you, this fandom would be a much happier place.
Anyway, this is the best Valentine's day themed fic that I've ever read. Kudos for that!
| joan of radius chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
The first and second pairings were kinda obvious, but the third is Rachel/Who? Is it Nico? Because, honestly, I don't know.
This story is utterly awesome. I shall favourite it. :)
Seems a bit... moody. Yeah. Awesome, but moody.
| raeganb123 chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
Loved it! And what was that about Percy with some hazel-eyed girl? Hmmmm Anyway, keep writing!
| Kay Celestine chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
So, this confused the hell out of me.
I can tell you blended the two series, but that's all I can tell you regarding that. :3
In general it was well written, though confusing. I did enjoy it though :)
My keyboard if fucking up
So I'll cut it short. Good job! :D