|Reviews for Shattering Prophesies|
| Guest chapter 30 . 8/24
Sorry, not reading 11 more chapters of sadness for whole of an ExA. Liked this in the beginning, but with all the hands of death and stuff... Seems like a fanfic I would write and wonder how I even came up with the ideas. Great premise tho. Omg this is so long and I'm so tired and zzzzzzzzz
| Guest chapter 26 . 8/24
I WILL LOOSE MY PURPLE DRAGON BABIES ON YOU IF INDONT SEE SOME EXA
| Guest chapter 25 . 8/24
If I was Eragon I would have grabbed one of Sheik's flashbangs when I saw those gauntlets. Never woulda been broken. GG 2 EZ HHP ALWAYS WINS
| Guest chapter 24 . 8/24
| Plz no more cri chapter 23 . 8/24
If I cry anymore for ExA, ill die of dehydration. Have a headache. Just drank 3 water bottles
| Me o chapter 15 . 8/24
I cried for at least a year.
| Mettaton chapter 8 . 8/24
Was dat an OONDERTALLY referance
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/23
*chases upstairs for answers*
| Louis chapter 16 . 5/7
I really did love this story right upto the point you outright stole terry good kinds sword of truth Denna of the mord sith into your mistress and copied his book bar a few very minor tweaks so very lazy especially considering how good your own work was upto that point
| Jeffro71 chapter 41 . 4/30
I enjoyed it, the last few chapters weren't up to the rest of it ...death nd war etc.u made him much more I dependant than most ff ,but part of my problem is after being broken and becoming master...he. Would obliterate shurikan with his hands...then he seemed to oppose power and was no longer the bad ass he was...sarissa feared nothing yet dragon who is stronger still worries?and the other thing is he's been all over absorbing unknown knowledge, gaining powerful allies yet his magical ability seems unchanged yeah he be5ter then most but come on. He just walked through hell...yet he gonna come out with what... Another minor notch on his belt, another odd weapon? Yet magic has to be on his toolbelt no? I like the bladesinger part...and the threads are cool but galby has had a long time and lots of eldunari. Don't get me wrong I like ur story alot read it straight though I like the. Choice of going to the different locals and the dreamwraiths are really writing and thanks
| melindadragon chapter 41 . 3/10
| duskysky chapter 18 . 2/19
| Meep chapter 15 . 2/18
How could u betray us this way eragon
| Guest chapter 23 . 1/27
This is really awesome and it rocks but there's only one negative thing about this. U use the word "stars" waaayyy too much
| BenignViewer chapter 1 . 8/15/2015
At this point I have to reiterate one of my earlier criticisms - you are being redundant with chapters, what I would deem 'filler' and it is really throwing the pacing of your story off.
In essence you are contriving drama and repeating the same scenario over and over with Eragon and Arya - bringing them together, introducing plot to tear them apart, then conciliation - and repeat; without furthering the story any.
It is important to note that there is a distinct difference between story and plot. Plot is the stuff that happens; story is the weight of theme and tone on top of this to create peaks and troughs for the reader, i.e. the Journey the reader feels they have gone on/experienced through your writing, as opposed to that which the characters holistically experience.
To represent this graphically:
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,_._ STORY
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./. .
. . ,_._._._._._. . . . . . . . . ./. . .
. ,/. . . . . . . . \ . . . . . . . ./. . . .
./_._._._._._._. \ ._._._._./_._._._._ PLOT
. . . . . . . . . . . .\ . . . . ./ . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .\_._._/. . . . . .
This is how the standard three act story looks. There are of course, many variations, but the issue you seem to have run into is that less that half-way through the story you have already brought the protagonists to their lowest points. 'Artificially' drawing that drama out with repeated inconsequential plot devices only serves to bleed out the tension and the stakes in the story because there is no consequence for anything that 'happens', because the characters just end up in the exact same situation they were in before and don't develop. Thus the 'story' stagnates.
I am assuming that you have written this story as you went along, this kind of flaw is common with piecemeal writing where the whole narrative and story is not assembled and edited as one cohesive whole before it's construction.
As a side note, a two month pregnancy is pretty absurd, magic or no. In addition to this, the whole "new/surprise child with another woman" melodrama is one of the worst cliche's, in my opinion, in all fiction.
P.S. Apologies for my previous mis-post on the previous chapter.