Reviews for Darkstalkers: Bleeding Darkness: Book 1
Random Reviewer chapter 5 . 6/4/2013
Oh boy, here we go.

It's not a bad fanfic per say, but it's not a good fanfic either. The idea of a human being adopted by a Darkstalker is overused, and your OC comes off as a Gary Stu. Also, the transition between scenes needs a lot of working on, as it's confusing as it is now.

Oh, and Jon knows who Lord Raptor is, all the Darkstalkers do. So Jon actually taking the time to yell is pretty OOC for him.

Also, there needs to be some sense of logic applied to a fanfic. How would Raptor be able to speak to Felicia if he was fifteen feet under, and how would be grab her? Also, you seriously need to improve your spelling and punctuation.

Your means you have, and you're means you are. So it would be "You're in a tree", not "your in a tree". You also need to learn how to separate your notes from the fanfic, so it doesn't look like they're both the same thing.

As far as beginner fanfics go, this one is pretty average at best. You've made the same mistakes that all beginners make, so learn from them.
The Dark Deceiver chapter 1 . 12/17/2011
This review is actually for chapter 4, but due to no reviewing the same chapter twice, I reviewed the prologue.

"The Zombie looked at her. "I know." He said. "Nobody has ever heard of Lord Raptor."

Poor Raptor.

Forever alone. T_T
The Dark Deceiver chapter 5 . 10/13/2011
It's a Darkstalker party! Found some spelling errors that need fixed, but other then that it all looks good. Still waiting for you to get to work on the next chapter!
Videogame and etc. Fan chapter 1 . 7/30/2011
What a great story for your first try. Cant wait to read the rest. Please keep in touch.