|Reviews for Unhiding Love|
| The Hare and the Otter chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
Again, very nice! :)
| Rooz990 chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
| Elsyra chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
Aww... the Drarry part of this is really sweet, and the Ginny/Pansy moment is, too. The end, however, seems a little rushed. Espcecially the polyjuice potion - I suggest you space it out a little to make the plot twist more effective. It was surprising, yet, but you could give one or two very subtle hints at then end and draw this out a little more. That would add more depth and emotion to the story, which at the end, felt a bit overwhelming. Also, grammar-wise, it is confusing when multiple characters talk in the same paragraph - it would be a good idea for you to space it out like in a normal book.
(i.e. Instead of "'Damn it Draco come back!' Draco turned towards Harry, absolutely livid, 'No damn you Potter! Damn you for making me love you and not having the balls to own up to it!' 'Draco?' Draco stood there, waiting, 'I want to come out.'" how about...
"'Damn it, Draco, come back!'
Draco turned toward Harry, absolutely livid, shouting, 'No damn you Potter! Damn you for making me love you and not having the balls to own up to it!'
'Draco?' Harry said softly as Draco waited impatiently, 'I want to come out.'"
Wow, that was a long critique. Hope it's helpful to you!