Reviews for you are a deceptive front above my head
Guest chapter 1 . 6/17
Let yanagi renji fall in love with a girl too please
ksm013 chapter 1 . 11/15/2013
I have to be honest...reading this story gave me a headache because of the lack of " " for the conversation. Over all though, the story is really really good. It would be nice if you could edit this and fix the conversations.

Great plot though. Well written :) Good job.
Yuna chapter 1 . 8/2/2013
...It's beautiful. Nothing else to say. :)
Music4Life1791 chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Fyerigurl is right...this IS a really good NiouxOC fic.

The paucity (or rather the complete lack) of quotation marks makes this story a bit hard to read, but you used humor in the right places and described things beautifully! And...I bet you intentionally left out those quotation marks, so it's all good!
Burntmufffin chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
This is simply amazing. It's like ;_; I can't put it in words. Like it makes me feel a mixture of lots of different feelings. A sad case that she didn't end up with Niou ): after all she's one of the few that really understand him and cared about him, but oh well that's what makes it interesting after all. The last part made me felt so sad T_T! -cries a puddle of tears-

P.S.: One of the most amazing NiouxOC stories I've ever read. Thank you so much for writing this ;), simply loved it.
Carnett Rose chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
This, this is simply breathtaking. It is so beautifully written - a feat in this fandom. I haven't read much on Niou and he's not of one of my favourite characters but the way you write him, it makes him so very likeable. I love your OC as well - realistic with a depth to her that is often missing in most of the OCs I have seen. The subtlety of their relationship, the way they understand each other so well - it's just the kind of writing I like to read, not to mention how you play with words. This made my day. Thank you.
mnemonica chapter 1 . 8/26/2011




dunnowhatnametouse chapter 1 . 8/24/2011
-.- and you said you weren't good at writing... LIAR :P this was awesome, and don't you forget it! I didn't think that a NiouOC would be this interesting to read but it was amazing! You made the OC very anonymous and yet the reader is able to understand her.
Coco96 chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
Oh... oh... This was remarkable. Absolutely stunning.

Words can't even describe how... how real Niou felt in this. I could feel his confusion, his pain.

The end, oh my goodness... It was just so beautiful.
Harumaki chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
...Wow. Just wow. Really beautiful piece here. It's sad and lovely without being melodramatic because falling in love with the wrong person is probably something we've all done before. It happens, and it's a part of life: this is the feeling I get from the ending, its final line being one of my favorites for delivering such a mood in few words.

Niou's identity crisis is an interesting source of angst because it /makes sense/, what with his tendency to mimic others, and the way you resolved it was my favorite part.


"So Niou becomes himself for a little while—mischievous and intelligent and sometimes so, so vulnerable.

Marui's Girlfriend watches him, and her eyes soften.

There you are, she chuckles. I found you."


Great stuff. Also, your OC is a colorful character in a subtle sort of way. She seems to be keen or vulnerable in one moment and flippant and lively in the next. Your writing style probably had something to do with it.

Speaking of which, I'd say that the writing was this story's strongest point. You have a flowing, almost whimsical style that works very well in this piece, and choosing to ignore the quotation marks in dialogue only made it more fluid. The moments where you go off on those exaggerated, abstract descriptions (e.g. "like a pressed image of the definition of atmosphere hanging to the four corners of the sky, tilting on an eighty degree angle") could have lost me, but they surprisingly didn't. However, I hope this particular aspect doesn't end up alienating your readers when you use this style in the future... just my well-intentioned warning. :)

ChiyakoChan chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
Wow. I really, really like your style. Angst is truly amazing when it's done correctly, and you have definitely done this correctly.

I really like how you made him so obviously vulnerable in this story. You get inside his head, and I feel the most powerful moment was when he kissed her and his thoughts just keep flowing. The dialogue is also very realistic, and I love how she sees through to the real Niou. I think that's exactly the type of woman that Niou would fall for. :)

Anyway, very good job! The dialogue without quotation marks is interesting, and though I usually don't like people straying from fundamental grammatical rules for stylistic purposes, I think this worked out well. :)

Lahdolphin chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
This was just... wow. I think NiouOC is the hardest to do, but you did it without really doing it. It's like two people meet and they click, but they're just not clicking in the right way. Or maybe they do click in the right way, but it's still wrong.

That made no sense and I wrote it.

I love how you captured Niou. I can see him acting like this, confused and unsure. I also love the writing style. It's simple. I get it. It matches their "relationship," if you could call it that.

It was amazing.

thesadisttensaifuji chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
Doro! This has got to be the best NiouOC I've read!

I like how the girl sees him as him, and yet they weren't meant for each other. She seems to be the right person, and yet, and yet - he wasn't.

I like how he has an identity crisis, that he actually becomes other people in different situations, but the girl always, always caught him as him.

This was heartbreaking, falling for a person who's fallen for someone else, your best friend no less.

But in the end, it was nice, because Niou had he could actually exist as him and not someone else.

Definitely love this!
Frog-kun chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
'kay so I lied. I did read this straight away after all.

Deyaaaaaaaamn. I think this overtakes your AtobeOC as my favourite OC fic you've written. This was just spectacular. This was just awesome. I have no other words to describe this because I have turned to mush in my seat.

I think this is all very true and that sometimes to grow up you need to experience these things. And this experience really fits Niou, it really does.

Also, nice way to avoid naming Marui's Girlfriend. (I know how much you hate OCs with names XD)

YOU HATE PLOT, EH? I think this fic turned out very well in spite of (or because of?) it. So don't be afraid little one. Daddy's proud of you.
fyerigurl chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
Doro. Omg. Doro. WTF I HATE YOU YOU MADE ME CRY AT WORK. And now my co-worker is looking over like, “who died?” and I’m just like laksdjflksdjf –flails- over your fic.

This was amazing.


There’s like this tightness in my chest that doesn’t go away. Starting from the confrontation scene, I don’t think I breathed until the end. I can’t remember if I’ve ever read a fic that made me feel like this.

Like we talked about before, I haven’t found a single Niou OC fic that’s satisfying before this one. But this isn’t the kind of fic that you can close with the air of finishing something good. Oh no. It hovers over my head and I just can’t help re-reading it over and over.

I love how you didn’t use quotation marks, just because it reads so much smoother and adds to the emotion of the fic. And at some parts it’s almost painful to read because you KNOW it’s not going to work. And like you always do, you make the pain beautiful and OMG how can something that hurts so much be so beautiful.

Anyways. I need to head off to the bathroom to get rid of these mascara streaks.

If you ever write me a fic again, remind me to wear waterproof makeup.
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