|Reviews for BluexOrange 2|
| Eden chapter 1 . 11/15/2015
Omg well done I love it!
| P-bodylover100 chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDS- *head explodes*
XD Oh my god, I love how you made Blue so awkward and embarrased. "YesOrangethatsmydick."
| cakeisatruth chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
Your stories have potential, and there is a definite lack of BluexOrange around here, so to finally see some is nice. Some of this story is rather funny due to the awkwardness between the two ("YesOrangethatismydick") which is good.
That said, there is not very much characterization here. Blue and Orange don't really have a personality in the game, so it would be nice to get to know a little bit about what they're like. The only feelings you really went into are how they feel about each other - and while necessary for the story, it makes them very flat characters, which isn't as interesting to read about.
Additionally, try to remember that it's better to show us what the characters are feeling rather than tell us. Sometimes it's best to let the reader infer more of what is going on. This also helps in characterization.
Your dialogue is pretty good but not all of it sounds natural. Try reading it aloud before you post it. Two characters won't have the same style of talking - the way a person speaks says a lot about who they are (again, characterization!). That's not to say that they can't sound similar, but try to shift between two ways of talking, especially since there are only two characters in this fic.
I look forward to reading your next fic.