Errr... wild animals?

Comes across as a bit author indulgent with the OC and her cop boyfriend being the central focus (not that I blame her, cops come equipped with their own roleplay outfits and handcuffs). I get it, given how early the story has started and that you have to work harder to establish an OC in an already established universe. Doesn't mean I particularly want to read it, though.

The writing isn't bad, just not why I am here. Hopefully, things pick up with Harry in the next couple of chapters.

Gramatically, nothing is too bad. There is some miscapitalization, and your scene breaks could use some reformatting into something that isn't just letters.

My main concern is with the repetition of unnecessary information that the characters and reader already know, like the fact that Harry is famous. Hopefully, that doesn't happen a lot. Not a bad start so far.

I loved this fic! thanks a lot! see ya!

A Happy story where he is not abused !

Another good fantasy story for girls: The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine.

I know someone who read The Hobbit at 7, and while everyone else seemed to think they were skimming, I believe it. They were a very dedicated and advanced reader. The words a child uses really just depends on them.

It’s the day after Halloween. There are bound to be crazies out and about. Kidnapping. Getting run over by a car. Eating candy that someone left out and getting sick. Starving to death. Dehydration accelerated by cold and young age. Getting sick due to Britain’s rather wet climate. It goes on and on and on.

It was mentioned that the blood wards were setup over her house, so shouldn't that have stopped him there?

I had to look up what the hell a pastafarian was. Other than the oddity of master duelers being hit out like that it was a good chapter. The blood wards idea is good enough to considering this is part of the setup, so alright.
Well done overall.

There's actually nothing definitive in the books about a curse on DADA. The only suggestion comes from (I think) Ron, who says that he thinks it's cursed.

This was a fun read. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I like the plot of harry actually having someone who cares about him looking after him instead of the dickhead Dursleys so thanks for an awesome story so far.

Have you read the anthologies of female heroes, "Chicks in Chain Mail" and "Chicks Ahoy", edited by Ether Friesner? Stories by Roger Zelazny, Elizabeth Moon, Harry Turtledove, Elizabeth Schwartz, Josepha Sherman, Nancy Springer, Jody Lynn Nye, Marina Frants & Keith RA DeCandido,Laura Frankos, Holly Lisle, and many others.

can't believe I have not read this before
absolutely lovely story