|Reviews for When The Truth Comes Out|
| xNaruHina chapter 9 . 6/3
Pheonix is a star?
| xNaruHina chapter 6 . 6/3
Walburga needs to chill. What is the point of forgiving her son and asking for forgiveness in return if she is just going to alienate them again with her overbearingness and her penchant for being rude, overly loud, and overly demanding?
| xNaruHina chapter 5 . 6/3
I don't like Elizabeth, she is too hypocritical. She doesn't want Harry acting cold, but to act caring and polite. She acted in neither of those ways. Boo-who, she was stressed. That doesn't mean she should not have acting caring and polite, especially since Harry wasn't doing anything at all to earn her ire.
| xNaruHina chapter 4 . 6/3
Why would Walburga expect Harry to not slip when he has never had any practice doing what she asked? He has no training in etiquette or with being an heir let alone a lord...
| xNaruHina chapter 3 . 6/3
Ayy, a story where Sirius and his mother make up, that is pretty neat.
| xNaruHina chapter 2 . 6/3
Why would they need to be married before the 18th birthday when magical maturity happens around your 17th? Also, how would harry be a master at any branch of magic when he has barely done any magic? I can get having an aptitude for a branch of magic but he wouldn't even be close to mastering it yet.
| xNaruHina chapter 1 . 6/3
Prison tatoos? Really? Also it is surrogate parents, not surgot. Sirius didn't fake death, he merely escaped because he is awesome like that, he didn't need to resort to such a low method.
| firedawg chapter 16 . 5/3
Brilliant story, enjoyed every chapter. As a last word, this is the first story I ever read that had so much begatting. Poor ladies they must have been absolutely worn out.
| KrisB-71854 chapter 16 . 5/1
Face Palms. You really just rushed through here and tried making it all nice and neat.
I don't think that Harry really did anything in this fic other than writing letters to Daphne. There were some hints of conflict or avoiding conflict with AD and the ministry early on. They were just meh background things that never came up.
If you ever re-write this I have a few rather minor suggestions. This starts out with Sirius basically grabbing him from Hagrid in Knockturn and disappearing. We never hear or read about how Harry was kidnapped or disappeared. You just had a small note once that there was a warrant for their arrest and then a tad bit later they were both somehow thought dead. You didn't even have any difficulty having them leave and re-enter the country.
Sirius should have had some issues arranging a safe way out and back into Britain.
Well, my first suggestion would be remove that spot where Hagrid even spotted or tried assisting Harry. Instead, Sirius does the dragging him off, and as far as the Weasleys know Harry disappeared into the Floo and never showed up. There should still have been a major man hunt for the missing Harry Potter at that time though. We never hear about it.
Also Harry should sort of feel bad if only a bit about not letting folks know that he was alright. O.k. He would agree that he needed to remain secret and all that. He would have had some worries about how everyone else was worried about him though.
You basically took Harry out of the entire plot line at that point. He didn't really do anything himself. Effectively, Harry could have died or went poof in that fire and the same things happen. The only one that would have really had a different ending would have been Daphne. That's just how much of a non impact Harry had in this fic.
This fic was more about Sirius and Elizabeth and their so many kids. We heard that Harry had a harsh time learning and was supposedly ahead, but that was never used. Instead the real driver behind all that snorted and said all purebloods got that sort of treatment over the summer to appear ahead or better than the rest.
I'd have almost liked Daphne skipping out of school and doing the home school bit with Harry. We'd have had more bonding with the two. Instead, they had over protective busy bodies stopping them from really advancing their relationshp or really learning much about each other. If it wasn't for the letters and mirrors, they still would barely know each other.
You had Ron the bad guy. You didn't flesh it out a bit more. It appeared that it was just Ron. AD didn't set them up or help Ron out. Molly didn't suggest any thing. It was all Ron. Honestly, I can't really tell you if she ever actually was really dating him or was drugged into it the entire time.
You needed to spend more time on Hermione and her recovery. You did a good job with the various girls and all that. Why did Harry need to be the one that actually pointed out she needed therapy though? She went from only Ron being or appearing her friend to suddenly having a group of over protective females around her. Surely, they could have some how arranged for her to get therapy without Harry ever being in the loop.
It would have been rather scary for Harry if it was kept quiet and he never knew why every one just suddenly started hating on Ron. It's a good thing that Daphne was keeping him a breast of things.
One bit that I was some what irked with. Molly and the Weasley family. You had it suggested that Molly might have killed off her sister in law in order to raise Ginny as her daughter. That was more of a guess or rumor. It would have been cleaner almost if you actually had that come out and her get shipped off due to that.
There was no real reason for all the Weasley boys to say not it and suddenly the Weasley family is disolved. Um, if they had a title and all that crap, Ron should have been able to claim it and all that. You didn't really go into why he couldn't. He wasn't a convict. He was seen as a rapist by those in the know, but apparently he wasn't kicked out of the family or anything. Really Ron should have taken the Weasley title.
Taking the Weasley title should have been more of a hassle or annoyance though. Think monthly dues or just how much out of pocket expenses that they'd need to pay for themselves. That could have been a full time job. Most of the others had a pile of money to live off of or a profitable job. His brothers thought that they'd do better not tied down to that political seat and just how much of a monteray drain it might have been. Ron wouldn't have cared and would have taken it and regretted it as all his money seems to go to keeping the damn seat and no one cares about him or his bills. They wouldn't really care to ask him for backing. He'd be more of a random wild care which would have been fine.
Instead you had to keep on punishing him. I say that because if you really think that he raped her and all that, he should have been tried and by the time he was an adult he'd have still been likely to take that stuff as juvenile stuff is usually sealed anyway.
It seemed like you were shitting on Ron just to be against him. This Ron actually seemed like he needed that, but you never show if he grew up or got better or became worse. Heck Ron could have become the next competent dark lord. Nah, if he ever went dark he'd just spend his time mind controlling some muggles in a pizzera to keep the food coming. Ron and food I understand. Ron and sex? Maybe, but that seems like something that he was only insterested in after the Yule Ball thing anyway. You had him drop his balls far earlier here.
Some one mentioned that you liked Draco and forgave him of his sins by writting them out of things. Oddly, I'm actually fine with a Draco that needs to grow up. His dad died and his mom insisted that they keep that hidden until he was really old enough to hold his own. In many ways Draco grew and showed far more progress and growth here than Harry did. We saw far more of Draco and his changes.
If anything the only bit that I'd have really liked for you to change would have been Draco some how rescuing Hermione with Ginny and the Twins and being rather upset and disgusted by it and not holding Ron against the rest of the family.
You sort of made Ron and Molly reasons why everyone would want to part from the family and go to greener pastures. That's not how it usually works. Those two should have been kicked out. That the others were removed though Molly and Ron were still part of the family well... That would mean that the boys would be socailly shunned by most. The other two would be thought of as still right and proper pure bloods as they obviously didn't do anything to be removed from the family.
Where the heck was Mr. Weasley in all this? His family imploded and that's it we never hear from him?
I don't even mind if he was drugged up on love potions or just gave in as he did love his kids, but really felt that he couldn't do much until they were all out of Hogwarts and on their own. You just never brought him up at all. You just had them running from Molly. Maybe. I could see that. They wouldn't really want to stand up to her or have the big major fight with her. Just saying we aren't part of the family, bye. Is some what easier in the short run. It should have been painfully harder for them in the longer run though.
Well, the Twins started their own business. Percy was employed at the MoM and once in government you have to be really bad to be fired. Bill and Charlie both pretty much worked overseas for the most part. They already ran away from home as best thye could manage. They just couldn't do anything for their siblings.
The one really different thing about this fic was Ginny being a cousin rather than the youngest daughter. It wouldn't have really changed anything if she had known earlier and all that. She would have been raised effectively the same either way.
Um, does every one have to get married and have a handful of kids to be seen as successful? And showing their Hogwarts Houses is apparently as important as their birth, marriage, or death dates.
Why is it suddenly important for Daphne to pop out a kid for each one of those titles? There isn't apparently anything wrong with Harry welding them. Why can't he just have one or two kids and which ever kid seems more of the politics type will get stuck with it. You know that's more like how he'd think rather than Daphne is going to accept popping out so many kids and just loving it because they are now utterly in love and love means lots and lots of kids apparently.
Hell, I'd have been fine with them naming a few of Sirius's extra kids as heirs to those lines rather than just popping out kids to seperate the titles. There just was no major reason for that.
You had a major hate on with Ron, but left AD around. Well, declawed him and left him to play bar tender with his brother. I honestly can't see his brother putting up with him. They rather disliked each other. By this point, AD should have had plenty of money to live off of. He had pretty much been a teacher for decades and held two governmental posts. I'm assuming that they pay the people that hold those posts something. He should have had plenty to have a nice place of his own and just chilling out at the house and writting his autobiography or some other books. Hell, he could have made a fortune just writting a book series teaching what he actually knows.
I hate good things coming to bad folks, but really you left him alive and rather untarnished. He should have been doing good after all this.
It's Snape and what ever he told in court. They pretty much thought AD was senile and needed to be forcefully retired at that point. Heck, Snape could have gone through a low security or early parole thing. He'd have been happy if they just shut him up in his own private office so that he could just brew potions rather than interact
| fadewind chapter 16 . 1/17
:). Thanks for finishing it, even if you lost your muse a little and it turned off course. I enjoyed reading it.
| fadewind chapter 13 . 1/17
I thought Harry already had an inheritance test, when Sirius and him went to the bank the first time together? Is this a way for Tom to get his blood?
| mckertis chapter 6 . 9/3/2016
This is ridiculous. "I'm your godmother and i didnt give a shit about you for 12 years, but now you are to shut up and do every single fucking thing i tell you to."
And really, "5 sons in 5 years ! No ? Fine, 4 sons and a daughter in 5 years. Is that better ? Good." Just...WHAT ?!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/20/2016
Dumbledore wanted Harry with the Dursleys. Sirius would have been an obstacle to that. So it is likely that Dumbledore arranged for Sirius to be sent to Azkaban.
Especially as all the other Death Eaters either got a trial or bribed their way out.
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 16 . 6/10/2015
In addition to your fondness for tragedy, you are also fond of Draco, the ferret Death Eater who almost killed Katie Bell with the cursed necklace. Why don't you write another tragedy and this time, your beloved Draco dies.
| Gunny Highway chapter 4 . 12/30/2014
Chapter 4 starts:
Sirius and Harry awoke around the same time the next morning and got ready all before Walburga had sent Kreature in to wake them. The two were more than excited to get out and explore the Italian version of Diagonalley. The two went down to breakfast at 8, which consisted of eggs and bacon. There, Walburga prepped them on what they needed to know for the day.
Did you mean:
Sirius and Harry awoke around the same time the next morning and got ready before Walburga had sent Kreature in to wake them. The two were more than excited to get out and explore the Italian version of Diagon Alley. The two went down to breakfast at 8, where Walburga prepped them on what they needed to know for the day.
It’s not good to start a chapter with mistakes as many will close the story and move on without telling you why. I get the impression that English is not your first language and you’re a foreign student. If true this is great but change your profile to indicate your home country not the USA and people like me will be a whole lot less critical of your grammar (at least I hope they would.)