|Reviews for When The Truth Comes Out|
| Gunny Highway chapter 4 . 12/30/2014
Chapter 4 starts:
Sirius and Harry awoke around the same time the next morning and got ready all before Walburga had sent Kreature in to wake them. The two were more than excited to get out and explore the Italian version of Diagonalley. The two went down to breakfast at 8, which consisted of eggs and bacon. There, Walburga prepped them on what they needed to know for the day.
Did you mean:
Sirius and Harry awoke around the same time the next morning and got ready before Walburga had sent Kreature in to wake them. The two were more than excited to get out and explore the Italian version of Diagon Alley. The two went down to breakfast at 8, where Walburga prepped them on what they needed to know for the day.
It’s not good to start a chapter with mistakes as many will close the story and move on without telling you why. I get the impression that English is not your first language and you’re a foreign student. If true this is great but change your profile to indicate your home country not the USA and people like me will be a whole lot less critical of your grammar (at least I hope they would.)
| Gunny Highway chapter 3 . 12/30/2014
Just finished chapter 3 and think this story has a lot of promise. However, there are several spelling and grammar mistakes that need taken care of. Your profile says your attending a University and if you turned in a paper to me with "The office was mostly bear..." on it I'd mark it with an F and ask if the bear was a Grizzly or a Polar Bear. I think you meant bare as in bare assed baby. That's only one of many in the first three chapters making what could be an excellent story hard to read.
| city bookworm chapter 16 . 3/30/2014
There are a whole lot of babys in the next generation.
| teachergirl chapter 14 . 3/11/2014
I thought Harry could not leave the wards of number 12 due to the tracking charm Dumbledore put on him? So, how can he go to the park to meet Hermione? If he can leave the wards, why hasn't he been anywhere else for years?
| Guest chapter 13 . 1/5/2014
Hermione and Neville! Plzzzz
| Svenion chapter 12 . 1/2/2014
did Harry ever do any of his training in Brazil?
| Svenion chapter 11 . 1/2/2014
No mention of metamorphmagus progress or animagus. training?
| StupidChinaBook chapter 13 . 12/23/2013
How about Hermione and Percy as a pairing.
| Engrprince chapter 5 . 11/24/2013
I am sorry this is relatively boring and the portraits have too much knowledge and power adios
| ptl4ever419 chapter 16 . 10/23/2013
Love it, was very good and i especially loved the epilogue
| TiffBaby101 chapter 16 . 10/10/2013
| staretoile chapter 16 . 9/11/2013
I like your story. I really enjoyed reading it. All the manipulations and how the kids work together, help
Hermione, better the world...
| ak chapter 16 . 9/3/2013
| ob1292 chapter 16 . 8/29/2013
A good story I do hope that you so the rewrite to complete and elaborate on the final chapters. Good Job
| dragonMSTR chapter 3 . 8/15/2013
In chapter 2, Harry was way to accepting of the marraige conyract and the stolen mony.