|Reviews for Descendants Of Deception|
| DrAgon chapter 12 . 10/22/2012
I really like this story! This is my first time reviewing, even though I read a lot of fanfics, so you should feel very special. Anyway, your questions:
2. "Erhard" is pretty no-nonsense, and I like Gary's innocence. By the way, is CR going to end up with any OC's? I'm really bad at reading between lines...
3. I see a fork...CR's journey and Resurgam looking for him...
4. I don't really like OC's being paired with canon characters...
5. This is just coming out of nowhere...Someone is looking for "Erhard"/CR! And they have bad intentions!
6. Hmmm... not really, no.
Your art style on deviantart is wonderful, by the way. You could probably work for ATLUS on a new Trauma Team game. Sorry to hear that writing is a bit of a chore...
This is a kinda useless review...but if it makes you update this amazing story it is worth it. Keep up the good work!
| PXLight chapter 10 . 7/17/2012
Damn, that was outright brilliant!
(You've improved so much! ")
Seeing as how my one year excursion from has finally ended after I found my drive to write again, I'm kinda glad to see such a well-written chapter from you. God, I think I cowered before the immense amounts of detail in your work; I was perfectly able to visualize what was going on. You characterized the characters perfectly and that cliffy... ohmy.
Two things though:
1) ESPECIALLY IN A HOSPITAL, I seriously doubt someone's going to go on the PA and start screaming "WE'RE IN A LOCKDOWN! OMGNOESS! TT" No, doctors aren't the only people in the hospital; there are perfectly innocent patients and such that could potentially die if thrown into a panic. So a simple "Code Red" should have been enough to alert the staff of what's going on.
2) Where are the semi-colons? D; (Basically, your commas are used in place of semi-colons... that's about it).
Not bothering to predict... it's too... bothersome. /
Good luck from here on forward.
| TheArcanaQuotes chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
BAAAHHH! u;; Sorry it took so long!: 3 This is LostScarletFlowers, from DeviantArt! Yeah, surprising, no?
; u; That I took so long but I could jot down a million reasons why(and one of the big ones is that I always read fanfiction on mobile and reviewing long retarded reviews is harder than trying to milk a chicken) but right now I just need to focus on reviewing this wonderful chapter to a wonderful story THAT NEEDS MORE REVIEWS FOR SWEET BABY JESUS SAKE but digressing and get to the actual talk that people wanna hear.
I absolutely adored it. I very much enjoy the writing style of this piece(haha look at me trying to sound all fancy) o It doesn't drag on and on, but it still gives us readers a good amount of detail to go on when, as us people who read too much always do, paint the imagery we see in our minds. I saaaaaww yooouuu(YES YOU) use different words, which was refreshing* u* Because no one likes a word repeated over and over and over again for the same exact thing, and it makes everything...fresh** and...nice (Ialreadysaidthat)(and againXD)(WHICH REMINDS ME I hafta re-do my stories on here cause I posted stories up here when I was like...in junior ). The portrayal of our favorite doctors were spot on and I detected(I'm a robot now?) not a hint of OOC except RONI CAUSE SHE WASN'T ANNOYING ENOUGH.(yep you heard, er, read what I said.) AND SPEAKING (NOTREALLY) OF OOC's...Did I ever mention that I love the angry mob(lolwhut)?
I would marry every single one of those banged up, grimy lookin' () kids; D...Forget you even read or heard that.
Well not to DRAAAGG TOOO OOOONNNN since this is one chapter and I shall be doing this for...9 more chapters...yeah...nine...
I shall leave here to let you digest this horribly written out review(is this what this is?(what's with all these parentheses?(Parentheses parentheses parentheses parentheses))). Mull it over with some cheese and sparkling cider, the grape kind, cause I can't drink, and it's bubbly...and it's much better than wine(notthatIwouldknow)
Until next time,
The monster in your closet
| superdude8 chapter 11 . 7/14/2012
This was freaking awesome! Ah, poor CR, getting dragged into that mess. Ahsdhfhjfdksksh...
So the girl CAN talk? We're getting somewhere! ...I don't know what I mean by that. ANYWAY.
I can't wait till the next chapter! Things are getting even MORE interesting!
(And really, this is the only fic at the moment in the Trauma Center fandom that I truly hold dear to me since all the other ones are just plain Trauma Center and... You can probably guess the other one. Seriously, the stories I LOVE never get updated, but the ones I don't care for... So I'm happy you update this amazing fic frequently enough! I mean, once every few weeks or months is fine by me, but when YEARS start passing by... *sob*)
| superdude8 chapter 10 . 6/17/2012
Awesome chapter! :D
OMG now I'm, like, in what's-gonna-happen-next mode... I haven't read this fic in a while, so I probably don't remember if I'm supposed to know what CR did or not. Lol, poor guy never gets a rest...
For question 1, I'm not sure I have an answer, haha... I mean, considering the situation, there seems to be a lot of possibilities. As for question 2, I don't have a good guess, but don't let that bring you down because I'm bad at noticing most detail until later orz And for question 3, it was true I was almost expecting something else, but I'm fine with how it went, so no problem there. :D
Derp. Why don't you have more reviews on this fic! It's so gooood! People should appreciate things like this more. *pout* But I'm here for ya!
Okay, I think that's it for now! Because I have a Country Project due tomorrow and I'm not done the backboard or the booklet. /shot
Keep up the amazing work!
| superdude8 chapter 9 . 5/27/2012
Yaaaaay, an update! :D
This chapter was interesting I can't wait to read more
| Don'tDreamItBeIt chapter 1 . 5/1/2012
Hey there! This is the person that you know from band class that you sent your fanfiction link to. Looking through your profile, you've written some pretty long stories, and I am not quite sure what "Trauma Center" is (a video game, maybe?) so I don't think they would make much sense if I read them. Okay, now to check on your deviant art page! It sucks because if I don't have an account, I can't leave comments on deviant art, unlike fanfiction where I can. So I can't spam the heck out of you like I originally planned. Alright, so I'll see you later. Ciao!
| PXLight chapter 6 . 11/25/2011
Isn't it cruel that I chose to use Oki-chan's account? D:
In any case... great job :) I really enjoy the whole "skeptic of the world" concept; it gives the fic a rather, dare I say, "relatable" or "audience grasping" feel. Also, the detail's pretty outstanding!
There are a few places where you're using the words wrong... I have the feeling you're using a thesaurus without really knowing what the word means / Like "bemused" even... it's not "amused" but rather refers to an oblivious and inattentive state through confusion.
There's also concern about the spacing!
Different ideas belong in different paragraphs... I understand the whole "keep the dialogue of the same character in the same paragraph" concept, but this is quite over-the-top. Paragraphs are meant to hold one idea and because of the side comments from the narrative, there tends to be more than one idea in each paragraph, therefore making the paragraph large and crowded.
Finally, one more word of advice: detail is ALWAYS incredible, but don't force yourself to churn out words. I find that the best fanfics on this site are those with chapters that are EASY TO READ with details that describe the situation completely but at the same time are cut down to the bare necessities so the reader isn't staring into a wall of words. I'm not saying to cut down on your efforts but rather to try and focus on details that are needed to avoid a rambling feel :)
I'm not going to comment on overall plot or characters because I just skimmed through it and I do not know enough to say anything useful. Hope this helps.
| TwistedJabberjays chapter 2 . 10/22/2011
Wooow... very interesting! YAY CR IS FREEEEEEEEEE... somewhat. :P I found the part about the radar hilarious somehow... BTW, I love your new writing style!
| superdude chapter 5 . 10/18/2011
I'm choosing not to sign in ...again. But, anyways...
I liked this chappy. And the previous ones, as well. Lulz... I don't really have much to say. *sheepish grin*
Sorry I don't have much to say (again.) I'll be awaiting the next chappy!
| TwistedJabberjays chapter 1 . 8/5/2011
I love it! So much suspense...
The only prediction I can make: At some point in the story, that tracker band is going to get either taken off or triggered. :P
Great job, and I can't wait for more!
| Surgical Rose chapter 1 . 8/5/2011
I love this already! My mind was thinking of all sorts of things in the beginning scene (at one point i thought the male was little guy ) And I loved that little comment about the "daycare" that Resurgam was running, made me chuckle.