|Reviews for The Strawberry Ninja|
| Emu Thing chapter 1 . 3/19/2013
Better than it sounds?
A strange ninja walks into the village and into the Hokage’s and is promptly welcomed without question. Everything was handed to them on a plate including a place to sleep.
That is bad setup.
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/8/2012
What the hell rasengan is not stronger than getsuga tenshou! But this chapter is good though.
| Dark Little World chapter 17 . 11/27/2011
I'm sooo up for this challenge! :) :) Thanks for making me challenge myself! too bad you had to discontinue...
| kyrogue23 chapter 17 . 9/28/2011
I will let you know if i want to adopt this story and I will take up your challenge.
| wolf-demon39 chapter 16 . 9/27/2011
Awesome story so far :D looking forward to the next chapter yay ulquiorra and naruto fight that should be gd
| HTM chapter 9 . 9/22/2011
Once again, really? A four year old Sasuke? Man, you must be really out of ideas, because that's just downright... I dunno. It's just not that good.
I'm sorry, but I can't stand Sasuke. Knowing that he'll live just makes me want to regurgitate... sorry, man...
| HTM chapter 8 . 9/22/2011
Really? Really? Flash-step jutsu? Really? Now the only thing I'm missing is the infamous 'jump-no-jutsu' I have yet to see anywhere.
Anyway, so Sasuke is conveniently all alone in a cave? Again, really? You might want to take a break once in a while to get your ideas sorted out properly. Now I mean no offense when I say that. Keep that in mind, please. It's just constructive criticism is often not really that well appreciated and understood the way it's supposed to be.
Also, never, ever, use numbers, ever. Use letters only. At least, that's what I do. It's just that numbers tend to break the reading flow the reader has. If a number all of a sudden pops up, then that just disrupts the flow of the story. Trust me when I say that I know from personal experience.
This story has loads of potential, as stated before by me, but alas, it seriously needs a rewrite. And a good change in story-direction too. Otherwise it's mediocre. I'm not blown away by your story, something that rarely happens anyway. Like the Chunin Exam Day story. It has blown me away. Albeit it blew me away negatively. It's a frustrating story to read, since it has the direct opposite problem you have (along with many, many others). Too slow a development. You have too fast a development.
Also, you have guts to kill off Sakura. Talk about a tale of an utterly gutsy ninja, huh?
| HTM chapter 7 . 9/22/2011
While not your best chapter, it is tolerable to an extent. Dammit, I am sounding as if I'm a perfectionist with a craving for good authors. No, I'm not.
Anyway, Hinata only stutters when she is in the presence of either her family (pre-shippuden, which is obviously what this fic is not) or in the presence of Naruto. Yet still she stammers when she talks to Ichigo. Strange, that.
Also, I find it weird that all of a sudden (I realize you did a time-skip by a few days) Naruto is bright and cheery again. Strange, that, too.
And this is not really that much of a complaint, but why was Kakashi earlier than Ichigo? Isn't Kakashi supposed to be late at EVERYTHING? Dammit, why can't I emphasize it with italics? Much better, italics, than caps.
And Anko, a Special Jounin, is the replacement for Sakura? A Special Jounin? Really? I mean, come on! Alright, alright, I get the fact that it's supposed to be at least someone, so Anko was the one. And I realize that that gets Ichigo and Anko a bit closer than before. But you will have to be careful now. Don't rush! Alright, alright, the message has been firmly integrated into you by now, I realize, I realize. I also tend to repeat things, I know, I know.
| HTM chapter 6 . 9/22/2011
Yay. Now we get to know about Ichigo's previous encounter with the supposedly psychotic Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.
One question. How could Naruto contain his sanity when he is in the nine-tailed state? He should only be able to identify friend from foe, and that's it. He shouldn't even be able to control the Kyuubi's chakra at all. Also, how can he throw the Rasenshuriken? (by the way, you spelled it "Rasengashuriken") He can only throw it when he has it covered with Sage chakra. I know, because it is stated so in the manga. And when Naruto is in the Kyuubi Chakra Mode, he doesn't actually throw it. He uses a chakra hand to guide it.
And then there is the fight itself. It was alrigtht, it was just really short, just like your chapters. Now, I mean no ill intent when I say that. I want you to know that. Also, try combining some of your future chapters. That could actually help a little.
| HTM chapter 5 . 9/22/2011
Yet again you rush things. But I am sure you have gotten the message, so I'll stop commenting on that, don't worry.
Well, there are not many grammatical errors nor spelling mistakes from what I have seen, but the decision to kill off Sakura? Well, I don't really care either way. Sakura can burn in hell for all I care about.
Anyway, there is something you need to know about chakra. Chakra isn't like reiryoku. It cannot be channeled like reiatsu. The only way to properly sense chakra signatures would be through being a sensor. But I totally get the 'evil feeling' thingy with the chakra. The Kyuubi was known for having evil chakra, so why shouldn't Ichigo be able to have evil chakra as well when he was using his hollow mask?
But anyway, you could go in more detail about the environments, for example. Give a feeling that the team Ichigo's in has taken a long trek or something, something to indicate that the team had travelled a distance from Konoha.
Anyway, on to the next chapter!
| HTM chapter 4 . 9/22/2011
And I guess I'm supposed to think that it's cute that Ichigo is denying being with Anko? Because I don't think it's cute, or adorable, or anything else.
I think I'm going to say it for myself when I say that I am beginning to see this as a rushed story. Nothing else. Sorry, man...
| HTM chapter 3 . 9/22/2011
Alright this is for the third chapter:
I must say, your story is progressing fast. Way too fast. All of a sudden he and Naruto have to fight, and because of the Getsuga Tenshou, which is a RANGED attack, and the Rasengan, which is a CLOSE QUARTERS attack, clashing the damage that caused made Ichigo faint, as well as leaving him bloody? And why would Ichigo comment on Naruto being good, when all Naruto showed him (all he had, really. Rasengan, Sage Mode(which I know was not shown) shadow clones, and that's it) was the Rasengan and the shadow clone technique. Why would that make Naruto good?
Another comment I have to say is, why are there five people on the team? Hinata, Sakura, Ichigo and Naruto? Hinata's probably not on the team, though, I recognize that. But you didn't clarify it anyway.
Also, you had a spelling/grammatical error. It's "bored", not "board". But I would totally understand it if you didn't want to rewrite it. I wouldn't either.
Either way, I think the potential so far is being a bit wasted.
And another thing; all of a sudden we see Anko? She wasn't described as being in bed, I think. Which begs the question. What was she doing there? How did she end up in a hospital if she were in bed anyway? You need to lengthen your chapters some more. It's not good rushing chapters. I speak from personal experience, so trust me.
Either way, I think I'll continue reading.
| HTM chapter 2 . 9/22/2011
I can tell you're a NaruHina fan, something I am as well! :D That immediately puts you into my good books for some reason or other. Go figure.
I think the fight between Sakura and Ichigo could have been far longer, more intense. Otherwise, if you do not want to rewrite the fight, I would totally understand, because I tend to not rewrite any chapter of mine at all either. Anyway, their fight makes me wonder; what rank does Ichigo truly deserve? Because he sure as hell doesn't seem to be chuunin rank!
Either way, reviews of the next chapters are pending for a later time. I'm in school, so...
| HTM chapter 1 . 9/22/2011
This review is for the first chapter (reviews for every chapter pending) :
It does seem a bit rushed, but alas, I didn't really expect much anyway. We hear about an Anko/Ichigo pairing, something I would consider hilarious but otherwise unlikely. Not bad as one of the first tries, either, I must say. But I can tell this story has potential beyond what most stories have.
Oh, and I hope we will hear more about your version of the rogue ninja Aizen! :D
| kyrogue23 chapter 16 . 9/21/2011
HOLY SHIT naruto better have sage mode equip with him and that new nine-tails form to go up against ulquiorra.