Reviews for This Night
sfox88 chapter 1 . 7/2/2014
Who died?! Please, please tell me! Was it Snape? That would make sense. Or James? That would be adorable. Or Lily? You said you hate her. But then James would try to kill Severus! Actually, that would be quite interesting. But wasn't Lily carrying Harry?
excessivelyperky chapter 1 . 8/12/2013
Well, at least Harry made it out. And Snape knew enough to go look after the Potters himself, since the rest of the Order was kept too busy to do so.

There are three possible endings-Snape dies, in which case they'll remember his death for exactly five minutes and no more; James dies, in which case Lily will blame it all on Snape and hate him forever; or Lily dies, in which case James will hate Severus forever (like he doesn't already).

But however it ends, Snape won't win. But at least he trusted the right person-himself.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
very good!
sevenphoenixtears chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
That was great, I love seeing all the tensions Snape feels in all your fanfics, even though it's so sad. I'm assuming Snape is killed, I really want to see how Dumbledore reacts to the death of whoever died. Please continue! Even if it's just another chapter. I think the only mistake was "Fred" Longbottom.
Melethwen chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
SS19 what a wonderful fic you have created. I know you uploaded this some time ago BUT i just stumbled across it I was very impressed.

(I wil be going to look at some of your other more recent fic now :-) )

The pacing and the way you use conversation within the piece is used very well and the realtionship and the semi break down by Snape is also well described and used to great effect within the fic.

" I may even write a sequel" What? I sequel would be most welcomed - it would be interesting to see how this develops.

Again - great idea and well written great way to celebrate your 2 year anniversary.
Leona MacEwan chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
Oh my...that was quite the cliffhanger! Ack! This is quite and interesting story so far...quite enjoying the characterization of a young Severus. Cannot wait for more.
Ordinarily chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
Dear Merlin, that was a wonderful alternate universe. :'D The ending was abrupt, yet fitting. Severus, the hero.
stn5 chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
WHAT? that is not the ending! it is $ $% cliphanger! Seriously, you need to continue. This is your best piece to date!
Emu chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
"May" even write a sequel? Dear Lord, woman! That's not an ending to start with! Gracious me, you'd better write more on this, or I'll...I'll...well, I'll be downright disappointed is what. _~

In all seriousness, you've set up a very intriguing alternate plot with strong action and great pacing. Of the work of yours I've read, aside from your very short piece I reviewed a while ago, I have to say that this piece catches my interest the most. Personally, I think a lot of your work gets too bogged down in Snape and Dumbledore and verbal moroseness at times, so much so that fantastic plots you have are sacrificed for prolonged character dialogues. I also much prefer when you take advantage of other cast members because it allows you to create an even richer dynamic between the two by enabling us to see them interact with others. It also makes a more intricate and exciting story, I feel. Now I am aware these are personal preferences, and I don't mean to say your other work is bad; far, far from it (and I recognize that style of focusing on two characters talking is what you relish writing), but I really think you've got an amazing focus, pacing, style, and most important, plot going on here. I would love to see you continue this, and sincerely hope that you do.

The only big issue I have with this thus far is that I wonder why Dumbledore didn't just move the Potters to begin with. Once he knew of the attack, why not relocate them to ensure they'd be safe? Or provide them with emergency portkeys? He doesn't know that Peter is the traitor, so if he did decide to relocate them, he'd have no reason to suspect that Voldemort would catch on. Further, why is he trusting Sirius? Unless he knows Peter is the traitor? And where is Peter? He seems completely ignored here, which is odd given that I'd imagine he'd be expected to help. And how does the unplottable house deal work if everyone there seems to know where it is and how to reach it? I think these conundrums could be solved if during preparations Dumbledore did find out Peter was to blame and capture him. Then they'd know that there was no reason to keep the house secret since Voldemort knows, and maybe they did give the Potters portkeys (deciding to use them as bait until Voldemort arrives to make certain Ol' Scale Face didn't back out of the attack plans), but they don't work as Voldemort has some sorta anti-portkey thing set up, or some such. They'd also then know that Sirius was in fact trustworthy.

Hmm, as a further critique, I'd also say that maybe we should have seen more of the Death Eaters drawing away the aurors and Order, since Snape says that was the actual plan so that Dumbledore wouldn't be supported. We're told that, but then it doesn't really seem to actually happen. Plus, it could be made more clear that Voldemort decides to change tactics and focus on the Potters when he realizes that Dumbledore won't be easy to take down. I think that was the intention, but if so, it's just not very clear. Right now, it seems either random that Voldemort changes strategy, or that he never actually meant to get Dumbledore first at all, which doesn't make too much sense.

Anyway, I really enjoy this piece immensely. I think it has the potential to be your strongest work to date (aside from that very short piece of Snape writing to a dead Dumbledore. I just think that was extremely well-done, so it's hard to top that), and that it could easily become a sprawling and entertaining alternate universe. So my vote is to please continue this! I really dig the pacing and the style.
LemonDropsWoolSocks chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
What? You ended it there? Which adults survived and which one died? Sad face. I hate not knowing things, but I love this story. :)
Jedi Kay-Kenobi chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
Tense ending! And I fear who was on the recieving end of that curse and who is not standing with the escapee's now...

Brilliant! :)
JL chapter 1 . 8/7/2011
Beautifully written; a fascinating alternate ending.