|Reviews for The God Particle|
| Velociraptor256 chapter 38 . 9/30/2012
I only found this story a few days ago, and I've read through it pretty quickly because I absolutely love it. The story is great, particularly because the human-in-Equestria isn't just chilling with the Mane Six but actually integrating himself into Equestrian society (and outside of where most of the series is set, as well) - it reminds me a bit of the original Dinotopia book. I like the extra details and layers given to the society and the government. And for the most part, James is an interesting and well-rounded OC, as indeed are pretty much all the major OCs you've introduced.
There are a few flaws - the dialogue early on is occasionally unnatural; there are some descriptions that may not always be necessary (like describing how James bows to the princesses every time he meets them); and there are occasions where James doesn't have much individual personality coming through (which I guess reflects Twilight's concerns that he's losing who he is and just becoming a servant) - but these become less frequent as the story progresses, particularly as things are getting really serious now.
I'm very eager to see what happens next - keep up the good work!
| Omnicron25 chapter 38 . 9/30/2012
You know, I don't get on the internet in a week and here is a new chapter. Delightful!
Excellent chapter, EquZephyr. I will not bore you with an overly long review this time.
The chapter flows well and is both informative and involving. Though I do realize it may have just been intuition on James's part, I am wondering why one of the Council members did not try that trick to get into contact with Princess Luna to start with... maybe I am just over-analyzing things. Also, good work on giving each of the characters that seem most important the... I guess 'screen-time' will have to do. I can't think of a literary equivalent that would sound as good. I too enjoy how you are handling the revelations and various events happening so far, and while the way you are doing it may be slow-pace at the moment, the way you are writing these events keeps my attention nicely.
Oh, good work on building the relationship so far between James and Twi. The mannerisms and pace you seemed to have set seem really to fit well for the both of them.
I realize this is probably just an oversight, but you missed a quotation mark. (My … my lips.)
Anyway, enough of my boring rambling, you have yet again shown the quality of your work. As always, I await the next chapter eagerly.
| Stillmatic chapter 37 . 9/20/2012
Oh, this is fucking perfect. I'm talking about an idea this gave me, of course. Now, a UFC fighter somehow ends up in Equestria through means of some bullshit, and is forced to fight various characters that appear antagonistic towards him like Iron Will or Big Mac. It all eventually culminates together when he has to fight against Celestia in order to win his freedom home, where they both duke it out in the Octagon. Man, what fucking weird idea. Kimbo Slice, etc..
| Blackgryphon91 chapter 37 . 9/20/2012
Yes yes YES! Love the chapter and love the ending. I had a feeling and hoped that those two just might happen but you dealed it out perfectly! Great job and keep it up! Can't wait for more.
| Leante chapter 37 . 9/20/2012
Well, that was... sudden.
| Binnel chapter 37 . 9/19/2012
Umm... Fermilab is a real place.
Just so you know :P Anyways, chappie's good. c:
| Omnicron25 chapter 37 . 9/19/2012
This was an excellent chapter! I must say, I never thought of Celestia as the cleaning type, but I tend to do the same thing, the cleaning anyway, when I don't wish to think about something. I wonder what she thought about what she did see of the history of the United States other than the fact it was "fascinating" and the patriarchal issue. I know it is probably best up to speculation about what she thought, but the thought still intrigues me. Her reaction to (Which sport is that by the way? Kick boxing?) was quite apt as well as hilarious, and the horror movie even more so. Celestia's initial reaction to it I found absolutely hilarious.
Eric's reaction in turn is interesting as well. I find his character coming through very well. The note on patriarchy vs. matriarchy was very well implemented and I must say the discussion over James's future was well written on both fields. His fumbling around Celestia is almost comical. It's a good breather around some of the more serious moments. Good work on that.
On to Twilight and James... I am glad he finally said it. They have been beating around the bush around it too long. I'm glad Spike seems to be doing okay; I feel sorry for the little guy.
Alright, enough rambling, on to the gripes. First, there is a minor misspell during the gender dominance conversation: "makes are expected to defer to females" I believe you planned on putting 'males' instead of 'makes'. Second... okay well there isn't a second as far as I can see.
Well written! Have the best of luck, and I look forward to the next chapter!
| MorbidWerewolf chapter 37 . 9/19/2012
Yay! Twilight and James are now my OTP. Seriously though, that was a sweet ending to the chapter. Also when Celestia looked at the TV horrified, I seriously though for a moment she stumbled upon pornography. Wouldn't that have been traumatizing? Haha
Looking forward to the next chapter and what becomes of James and Twilight and the others.
The Morbid Werewolf
| mooneyboys chapter 37 . 9/18/2012
Talk about bombshell after bombshell in this chapter. Keep up the good work though! Can't wait for next chapter
| ezequieltriple7 chapter 37 . 9/18/2012
nice little treat there at the end keep it coming
| Beastial Moon chapter 37 . 9/18/2012
Awwww, that was such a sweet chapter!
| Setokaiva chapter 4 . 9/13/2012
Whoa. I'm really starting to love your writing style... very, very engrossing. Looking forward to reading the rest of this enthralling fanfic.
| The Mad shoe1 chapter 36 . 9/13/2012
New chapter! Yay!
| Omnicron25 chapter 36 . 9/13/2012
WOW! This is, by far, the most tense chapter I've read. I think I literally held my breath through almost the entire thing. This is also by far probably the darkest chapter you've produced so far too. I knew it would get dark fast, but wow this really kicked into overdrive. Maybe I'm overreacting, but you make one heck of an impact! I really enjoyed how you explained how the different Elements would be participating so far as well as how you grappled with Spike's position in all of this. The strain on Twilight is more than understandable, and, considering the situation, I REALLY would not have blamed her if she did snap.
It is unfortunate that you never got through Season Two before starting this, because it is stated in episode eleven that it was the unicorns' job to raise and lower the moon and sun before Celestia and Luna came along. Of course, I would not have been surprised if that information, thus the ability, was lost over the millennium that Celestia and Luna have ruled Equestria either. On that note though, I would of thought that Celestia would have made and effort to preserve that information somehow if something like this did indeed happen like she feared.
I cannot but think that the spirit of Night Mare Moon would thoroughly enjoy this. I really hope Luna is not blamed for this all happening. I would suppose Discord could enjoy watching this too, but from what I seen he is not one to enjoy violence or mass death, just chaos and trickery.
On grammatical errors though, there is at least one missing quotation at (Twilight, Spike, close your eyes,"). Other than that, nothing else caught my eye. Anyways, good to see you back with a new chapter! I can't wait for the next one.
| ezequieltriple7 chapter 35 . 9/7/2012