|Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Fallen Souls|
| lalalala1 chapter 4 . 3/2/2014
I really like this story and would like to see it continue, but seeing as you last updated in 2012 I'm assuming you discontinued it.
| InternationalBulbasuar chapter 1 . 12/28/2012
GEE THANKS FOR PUTTING UP NEW CHAPTERS OF YOUR STORIES!
| WWE-PG-HATER chapter 1 . 1/12/2012
Did Not Realise I Had To PM You For My Team!
How Stupid Can I Get...:(
| WWE-PG-HATER chapter 4 . 1/12/2012
Good Chapter! Love How Geno Is In Love!
Hope to See Team Outsider Next Time!
Keep It Up!
| Golden-Owl chapter 4 . 1/7/2012
In case your wondering, the Review given by an unknown reviewer down below is from me. I've no idea why the site didn't register my name in that signed review...
Strange, isn't it? At any rate, I meant what I said, and I really do wish ya the best of luck with your stories!
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/7/2012
I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to actually update your story anytime soon. I actually did a double take when I saw your story being listed when I was browsing through the recent Pokemon fics earlier on today.
Now I first have to go re-read your previous chapters, seeing as I've forgotten who was who here and in what team...
I rather like the interaction you have in Volt's team with regards to Flare and Geno. The both of them act similar to chummy best friends that like teasing each other good naturedly while out for a drink. Speaking of drinks, are those Berry Juices alcoholic or something? I always assumed they weren't unless the Berries were fermented or something (y'know, the difference between wine and grape juice?).
One thing that seems out of place to me is for Willow to randomly up and leave to this new Dungeon. Yes, I understand she probably has a lot on her mind which she wants to shake off, but most people would go sit at the beach and reflect or something. Visiting a Mystery Dungeon for no reason seems like a pretty weird thing to do... this is doubly bizarre considering how Willow is a Grass Pokemon that's entering a Fire-based Dungeon (filled with lava)...
If anything, what this chapter did was focus largely on Willow, and we were able to get a glimpse of her memories back to the time when she was still friends with the others. While this is pretty good plot-wise as it suggests Willow may either have a sense of amnesia or she's deliberately falsifying her own memories, implying that there must have been some form of traumatic event that occurred between the four of them.
Now, you aren't very good at keeping the identity of the antagonist teams very secret. I can see Lilienne being listed as a member of Team Shade in your Profile page, meaning we can easily identify the other two members. Likewise, I can hazard a guess that Team Dominion is meant to be the Rival Team for Volt's party, seeing as how you mentioned their making an appearance in the next chapter which stars Volt. What DOES perplex me is why Teams Mirage and Evisterate don't have their members listed despite them both not being very plot-important.
Now, the main problem in your writing is that you totally lack description. We are totally unable to get any sort of idea what the locations in this chapter look like. All we know about Magma Lake is that it's got lava in it, and we absolutely have no idea what Victini's Hangout and Willow's Base look like. Do they have wooden furniture? Are they buildings shaped like the respective Pokemon's heads? We've no clue. On a lesser note, consider applying a bit of description to the Pokemon's appearances, instead of simply identifying their species outright. It makes it seem more natural somehow for a person's eyes to register physical characteristics before their brain would be capable of identifying the Pokemon in question.
That's all I can think of saying for now. I'm glad to see your back in writing, and I wish you the best of luck with your story and updates!
| PRIVATE Corp chapter 4 . 1/6/2012
Well I'm glad to see that Angel has the heart to save Willow from Lilienne and that both her and her kids are matched perfectly despite having no base to go on. You know how I felt about them and again I really like how you did this without any base to work with.
... And now you made my work a whole lot easier!
But really I enjoy this chapter and I like where things are going with this. With the inclusion of all of our OCs in this story and you breaking away from the games, it's adding some variety to this story and I like it. Please continue on and hopefully I'll get to see how well you pull off Team Dominion.
| Lux Bravo chapter 4 . 1/6/2012
This was really good! :) I loved all of the interaction between Flare, Geno and Volt, and it was interesting to see how Willow reasons with things, as well as to get a glimpse into the mists of her past. So, did she actually lose her memory, or what it a side effect of Lilienne tampering with her memories? God, I make her sound like Namine when I say that :L Of course, I loved her role in the chapter, simply because she's my own character xD But no, you nailed everything to a T - make sure you update soon!
| Trakyan chapter 1 . 1/5/2012
let me guess... they wont loose their whole memories and the 16 stones are 4 for each of the pokemon questioned since mech was given a choice of four questions, though the snivy i wouldnt exactly call calm, 'arogant' or 'careless' seems more fitting to the 'whatever's she kept repeating.
| WWE-PG-HATER chapter 3 . 12/19/2011
cool! i will join your stories if it's alright...
Team Name: Outsider (due to them all causing trouble in their homes they were exiled, then they met up and became each others family!)
Personality: The wild card of the team! a guy who laughs at the face of danger! and always cracks jokes, dont be fooled though he is very strong in this team and is pretty fast! problem is he gets very shy around girls and loses focus if around one, not the brightest crayon in the box.
Rank: Silver (hides his abilitys to stay with his friends)
Personality: Very Serious About his team, feels connor is not right to be leader but will put his life on the line for his team
has known Connor since childhood. is much stronger than both his team mates but hides it in fear of being seperated.
Personality: Has a crush on Connor, but Connor is to stupid to realise it. very peppy and happy unlike most weaviles, apart from reece those two argue all the time, nice girl to have on the team.
hope when you get back to this story you'll have him as a character, keep up the good work.
| Spindash77 chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
This prolouge was pretty funny actually mainly because of how realisticly the characters reacted to the dreams really I can't think of anything bad to say about this chapter
| PokemonMajorMaster chapter 3 . 8/19/2011
Team name: Team ShinZiDen
Personality: The team leader and is distracted semi-easily. When Denny is knocked out, he tends to yell out Denny for at least thirty seconds and at most two minutes. Ironically, when Denny faints or any other distraction occurs, Shino fights at his best without knowing it and almost nothing can hit him or defeat him in that state. Shino is very intelligent, but is so very fun loving and random, not many can see his intelligence. He dislikes using his “intelligent-ness” because it's “boring.” Shino loves to pull pranks with his team and they even have their own motto in which they change the words to depending on their situation. As suggested by Zin Zin, he sometimes narrates Denny's actions in battle or in pranks to “make awesomeness ensue.”
Team name: Team ShinZiDen
Personality: A strong fighter but easily knocked out. Denny is very accident prone, sometimes accidentally attacked by his own teammates. Denny is usually knocked out either when he comes to “save the day”, is doing well in a fight, or even when he's not fighting or a place that no battle is taking place. He came from a “far place” after his cousin name Denis got captured. When given a dramatic entrance by either his teammates or himself, he likes to make his voice deep for what he thinks is a dramatic feeling or suspense and usually his actions are narrated by himself or Shino.
Team name: Team ShinZiDen
Name: Zin Zin
Personality: Very lucky in finding seeds that will help her team and always has a stash of invisible, quick, and violent seeds back at the base and calls those seeds the “Ultra Saving Seeds of Awesomeness”. Zin Zin always carries at least four of each of the “Ultra Saving Seeds of Awesomeness” that she carries in the “emergency mini bag” that she's in charge of. When needed, Zin Zin “accidently” knocks out Denny and acts like she was not responsible whatsoever and sometimes denies she even knocked him out.
| PRIVATE Corp chapter 3 . 8/12/2011
Well, I do agree with Golden-Owl that you are doing something different out of the stereotypical "amnesiac" characters by having different leads with a connecting past and also linking more of the gameplay to the story. It's a smart move on your part, though I do recommend getting someone to look over your story.
Beyond that, it's going to be rather interesting to see where this is going to turn out. It will be interesting to see how these teams interact with each other and also if there's going to be that chance of having the four leaders teaming up once again, but who knows at this point? It's too early to call, but you have everything thought out (hopefully).
And I should thank you for helping me inspire an idea for my Mystery Dungeon story. Thanks a lot man!
| PRIVATE Corp chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
Now I will get to the real review, but I want to make some comments about this chapter that I want to say:
I'll take what's behind Door #3, Wayne.
... I'm actually afraid of finding a picture of a fat Kirilia. Though this is the Internet, just mentioning that makes me sick to my stomach.
So... we have two mouses, one is into machines and a Fire type, and the other is an Electric type. Man, I call that ironic.
Why's Ash's Snivy doing in this story?
Color Coordinated for Our Convenience
And I'm done.
| Golden-Owl chapter 3 . 8/11/2011
What makes this story unique compared to other Mystery Dungeon stories is that it manages to avoid the typical stereotype most other writers use. Instead of having the main protagonist be an amnesiac human turned into a Pokemon and joins a new Exploration Team, you have 4 main protagonists who were Pokemon to begin with and have been working as Exploration Teams for quite a while.
I'm also rather impressed at how you manage to keep track of so many characters at once and give each of them a unique personality. This is most apparent with the 4 main protagonists, but I can see that all the other Exploration Team members have interesting personalities as well.
I like the way you separate the chapters into Arcs and Episodes, as it reminds me of how the games operate. Having more gameplay integrated into this story (such as how the Pokemon are genuinely worried about Poison) is rather interesting.
One thing I'm rather perplexed about is the fact that you make it seem as though Volt, Napoleo and Willow live next to each other, which calls into question what could have wrecked their friendship so badly that they wouldn't apologize to each other. Mech doesn't have this problem though, since he has clearly been away from Hollisty Town for quite a while...
I'd like to submit an OC team as well for this story. I love Mystery Dungeon stories, but hate the whole "Human-turned-Pokemon" thing which is so overused. My team actually consists of four members instead of the standard three, and I need to ask if it's okay. Also, are there any restrictions on the Pokemon that can be submitted (e.g. no Eevee, Starters, etc)? Because the team is actually being led by a Zorua (the others are Misdreavus, Kirlia and Murkrow).
If there are no problems, then I shall send in their profiles. It may be rather long though, since the four of them are pretty different in many aspects, from personalities to fighting styles...