Reviews for Embodiment of Nightmare Moon
KingofHeartless'09 chapter 3 . 6/6/2013
Are you ever going to do something with this story it seems interesting but it does have faults in the story and characters...
11SnowLeopard11 chapter 7 . 9/21/2012
Oh dear Pinkie Pie, breaking the fourth wall as usual... Update? :D
FeeptheNinja chapter 7 . 8/8/2012
I'm really sorry for this. Really, I am. But you've mentioned her and set at least half of this fic so far in the SDM so-

WANTS FLAN-CHAN PONY NAO

That will be all. :U
Amused one chapter 7 . 8/1/2012
This is great! Such a shame you stopped writing it and instead write other stuff... :]
foustle chapter 7 . 6/22/2012
really nice story! I really hope you continue writing this, even though you haven't for a while. I can't wait to see where the other characters have ended up! :)
Erkicman chapter 7 . 4/1/2012
This is a very exciting and funny read that doubly resonates with me because I am familiar with both universes.

I am also glad that you didn't go with the route of turning the ponies into humans.

Do you have any plans to continue this work? I would very much encourage you to do so.
GreenVirus chapter 7 . 10/9/2011
EVERYTHING LINKS BACK TO TOUHOU.

:D
Alex Warlorn chapter 7 . 9/29/2011
"Man, I'd love to be as scary as them…" she added enviously.

Then just let yourself become an undead abomination like them, I'm sure they wouldn't mind the new company.

got it memorized?"

Got the KH reference.

I have a very simple question. In this place, are Twilight and the others considered 'naked' or is clothing as optional for these ponies as in Equestia?

"You're getting an allowance?" Pinkie asked. "Well, I guess guarding that gate is a well-paid job… I also get some allowance from the Cakes, as I'm living with them and helping them out in the bakery…"

That made me smile.

"But… what's a fist?"

HAHAHAHAH! Looks like the reality hasn't finished ironing out all the bugs yet!

"You think the readers would still read this story after one of the main characters gets beaten in the first real battle?"

I would.

"Well, duh!" Pinkie said, pulling a small brochure out of nowhere. "I read the instruction booklet. Good thing I found the English version… I can't read Japanese."

*FALLS OVER!*

At least the group is finally STARTING to GIVE HINTS of coming back together. I think it's time to move the actual plot foreword at this point.

Pinkie Pie was interesting. And thanks for using my idea with Celsetia.
Alex Warlorn chapter 6 . 9/18/2011
you add a quarter cup of the most delicious red bl…"

Given the ponies are vegans, they'll be in the culture shock of their lives if they realize this pony being a 'vampire' isn't just for show.

"I wouldn't worry too much, darling," Rarity smiled. "Rainbow Dash and Applejack certainly can look out for themselves."

Rarity sure isn't the element of loyalty.

"K… kill you?" Twilight stuttered.

I'm not surprised. It's barely comprehensible concept to Twilight's culture.

Fluttershy's smile froze and turned into a glare of disbelief. "You… you WHAT?"

Welcome to cultural dissonance.
Alex Warlorn chapter 5 . 9/10/2011
I wonder if this breach is working both ways. Corrupting Equestia's harmony and making everyone bullet hell trigger happy combat nuts with non-symbolic names. Of course this would turn Big Mac lethargic and listless since being a guy he'd become a do nothing.

"What was that?" Aya snapped.

A mountain guard scared of a new reporter. Geeze.

"What's the matter?" Nitori asked. "Never seen a kappa before?"

Technically that makes her a hippocampus.

Celestia gritted her teeth when she twisted her body to fly in-between two of the enormous sun-like fireballs that were coming at her.

The sun itself is constant nuclear reaction. Celestia should have nothing to fear from these attacks.

grey substance and on her right arm,

grey substance and on her right foreleg,

that nuclear power is superior to solar power

The only actual difference between those powers is that in solar power the nuclear power happens at a distance.

in the vicinity of this reactor…"

She's right NEAR a bunch of micro suns, she has plenty of power sources to draw from as long as nuke girl keeps summoning them.
Alex Warlorn chapter 4 . 8/23/2011
Ya know the whole 'this is madness,' 'madness? THIS IS yada yada' while is a traditional pop culture reference, I don't think it really fit exactly here.

You know, with all these elements of Equestia bleeding into this world, I wonder if the ponies in Equestia are going to turn battle happy and start being able to shoot lasers on principle with a bunch of ponies mutating into pony versions of the Gensokyo creatures.

THE REAL THING to think about is that the barrier JUST started to break down, there's no telling what the NEXT wave of changes that the barrier breaking will cause.

You know, this is completely and total culture shock for most of the ponies, they've gone from a world where violence has never solved anything, to a world where violence resolves everything!

Clever idea for the cutie marks by the way.

I wonder if Big Macintosh will turn into a girl, or weather some of the Touhou girls will turn into boys.

"Oh, but I'm not a pegasus pony," Aya said.

She didn't react strangely to the word 'pegasus' meaning she already knows what those are.

Mystia's selling some of her grilled lamprey in the human village,

Not human for long.

"But I wonder how Apple Bloom and her friends are holding up back at home, without us…"

And with Nightmare Moon reeking havoc free to fix up Equestia into a wrapped mix of Genokyo.

young dragon girl with red scales and little black wings.

Older than Spike if she has her wings.

Maybe… it was because she… along with everyone else… was blinded to the truth?

When reality changes, it becomes the NEW truth, and the old truth no longer exists. I'm surprised all it takes is a simple 'you're not right like this' to snap them back to how reality used to be the day before.

"What? No! I've been a unicorn pony for all my life," Twilight said.

How the bloody heck can she even be sure of that considering everyone else is pretty much sure of the same thing?

Spike's apprehension is actually logical, he was raised among unicorns, of course he feels more comfortable around them than his own species (also explains his crush on Rarity).

"A boyfriend that's not even her species!" Reimu shouted.

The physical evidence speaks otherwise.

Can you imagine the tantrum most of the trigger happy residents of this world would start if they realized their species had been changed under their noses?

She is quite the sophisticated lady… like myself,"

I guess Rarity was able to play her cards right and given how battle hungry most residents of this place are, I can imagine Rarity is a breath of fresh air to her.

"Just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I don't have any manners,"

I think hearing that would freak out Twilight.

And Remilia herself once tried to create an eternal night, realistically, there is VERY LITTLE to keep her from aiding nightmare moon if she choses to return to this universe. For a vampire, an eternal night is a dream come true.

I fear for Applejack, given how eager people are in this place to start fights. And Applejack isn't built for a bullet hell battle.
Alex Warlorn chapter 3 . 8/15/2011
Dash's symbol is loyalty. I was counting on more of Dash telling Gilda, "You're not going to fight me. You're not even going to HURT me. Not if our friendship ever meant a thing to you." And basically DARING Gilda to put her money where her mouth is and attack her. And Dash knows Gilda is too possessive of her to do that.

"LIES!" Trixie yelled. "You always knew you were powerful enough to vanquish an Ursa Major, but you deliberately kept it a secret so you could enjoy my humiliation the fullest at the right time!"

Okay. Now Trixie has crossed from full of herself into paranoid delusional.

"Get lost, you're bothering me," Gilda grumbled as she gave Fluttershy a flick with her finger.

? The stare that brought down a freakin mature adult red dragon? Whao.

NOW Twilight would know they aren't just beefed up but something is WRONG her.

Trixie shivered. Like all ponies, she knew the story how one of the two royal sisters was betrayed by the other and then banished on the moon. What if Princess Celestia decided to do the same thing to her?

Not to mention it's practically wired into her bones to not stand up against the sun and the moon themselves.

With Celestia AND Luna gone . . . the sun and the moon in Equestia are frozen in place.

: "Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up…"

Nightmare Moon is more Luna than she wants to admit. She wouldn't be customizing Gensokyo into a extension of Euestia's reality with the same laws of nature otherwise.

Heh. What enabled those two to realize that reality had changed? It's clear not no one else is, or there would be wide spread panic at this point, even more so than normal.

Since the shift in reality hasn't had a chance to fully take hold yet, I wonder if the local inhabitants will also end up taking on names that more fit the ponies and forgetting their original names.

Hopefully Rarity isn't going end up a vampire (as much as that would appeal to her vanity), a torture toy for a bratty vampire child, or a brainwashed servant for the crime of trespassing. Rarity better put all that wit to good use FAST. YOU KNOW how people of this reality like to start fights at the drop of a hat! And Rarity is no warrior, and the power of reason doesn't hold much sway in this fight happy realm.

And the CMCs are back in Euqestia . . . with a gang of baddies not ten feet away from them! Base logic says this isn't going to end well.

It's funny. I have a VERY amusing image of Twilight, her character flaw of not wanting to admit when a theory of hers is incorrect kicks in and tell the two after a short explanation on both sides:

"So Nightmare Moon implanted false memories in your heads of having once been monkeys?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT WE SAID!"

"But it's the more simple explanation! And the more simply explanation is often the correct one!"
DreadedCandiru2 chapter 2 . 8/13/2011
Oh, dear; another person who thinks that Derpy is a slobbering idiot instead of an equine Usagi Tsukino with greyish periwinkle fur, a blonde mane and amber eyes.
Alex Warlorn chapter 2 . 8/13/2011
Poor Trixie. She's an interesting character. While she decidedly has flaws, I think that the show has a slight double standard with her.

And Gilda . .. whao boy. While RD was pretty much the only person Gilda treated LIKE a person, I think her friendship was genuine (even if she made ZERO attempt to be friends with anyone else). I'm surprised Gilda thinks of RD as former best friend, she seems too possessive, and too proud to admit RD cut her off.

Trixie and Gilda's egos . . . . yeah, that's how a meeting with them WOULD go . . .

Trixie never met Flutteryshy, or Pinkie Pie for that matter. It was RD, Rarity, and AJ and Twilight that she saw, and I doubt she ever bothered to learn their names except for Twilight.

Gilda might be willing to go along with anything for revenge, but Trixie I think would recognize Nightmare Moon and run for the hills.

I am VERY sorry if this all comes across as nit picking.

? I know Gilda doesn't really NEED a reason to amuse herself by being sadistic, but that seems WAY too random for her, and the cutie mark crusaders aren't exactly high profile targets.

It would make more sense for Nightmare Moon to shape shift (which she's shown the ability to do) and appear in front of the CMCs to basically tempt them with their cutie marks, which the CMCs have shown a PURE and absolute recklessness in their attempts to attain, so OF COURSE they'd jump into any offer given them heads first.

Or NMM shape shifts, betrayed Gilda, using her as a patsy, and played herself as a hero to the CMCs and lays bait on knowing how to get their cutie marks ASAP and lure them into being her brainwashed little minions.

Nightmare Moon was shown to be rarely direct in her actions.

"Are you trying to trick the ponies of Ponyville again?

She was a magician putting on a show. Tall tales and being over the top in her presentation comes with the job. She has an ego the size of a bus, and she DOES love to rub it in other people's faces, but I think 'trick' is a little redundant for a stage magician.

Ironically one guy pointed out that Snips and Snails doing a magic act at the school talent show was in tribute to their hero worship of Trixie.

At least the ponies realizing this might be a trap is handled logically opposed to them randomly jumping to the right conclusions.

Again, sorry, if this comes across as nitpicking, you know what a sucker for details I am. I hope that you take my review and are able to use it in a positive way.
eric peterson chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
like to read a few more chapters of this story before i decide if i like it or not.
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