|Reviews for Judgment|
| Teapot of transformation chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
I like this. I think you're saying that Elrond didn't destroy the Ring because it was the will of the Valar or fate that the Ring survived and the history happened the way it did.
| Deandra chapter 1 . 8/12/2011
An interesting story, and one about which one does wonder after seeing the scene in the movie. A nice study of what may have been behind Elrond's decision.
For the most part, your spelling is fine here, with one notable exception: "graves of the Riddlemark" - ahem! That should be Riddermark, my dear!
The other one I noticed was: "with the ring he would not bare to parted from" - that should be "bear" rather than "bare"
You noted you prefer writing poetry and I think your punctuation somewhat reflects that. It doesn't entirely work in prose where punctuation is more essential to give the correct meaning and emphasis. Many of your sentences tend to be long streams of partial thoughts, connected by commas. That is not the most effective way to get your ideas across, and sometimes undermines your meaning.
"Sometimes when I tell the tale of the fall of Sauron and the failing of Isildur, I see it, an almost imperceptible exchange between my sons, the question, the accusation that flits across their faces for the faintest of seconds."
The above would probably be stronger this way:
Sometimes when I tell the tale of the fall of Sauron, and the failing of Isildur, I see it: an almost imperceptible exchange between my sons. The question - the accusation - flits across their faces for the briefest of seconds.
Your original sentence is a little too run-on, with too many ideas crammed into a short space. It muddles the meaning a bit. Spreading it out, and altering emphasis by use of commas, colons, etc. makes it flow better and be clearer.
Hope that helps some.
| OmairaAndCairistionaTheSisters chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
I had always wondered that myself. I like the way you presented it. It is something that needed to be told, or at least attempted to be explained. Very well done. I like it a lot.