|Reviews for Drag Her From Heaven, Drag Him From Hell|
| BlackIceWitch chapter 11 . 12/30/2011
Getting fairly anal here, but reviewing is reviewing, as they say in the classics:
"A firearm would likely be of little use where she was going."
Past tense. A firearm will likely be of little use where she is going. She hasn't gone yet, and the previous sentences are present tense?
"Sam's voice reciting the latin chant become distorted"
Latin should be a capital, referring to the language.
"limbs splay so wide apart that his joints nearly separate"
| BlackIceWitch chapter 9 . 12/29/2011
Chapter 8: Very tight, focussed and rivetting. Only one thing I could find:
"Look out for Sammy," he pleads. "He's gonna need you every much as you'll need him. I don't want..."
Should there be a "bit as" between every and much?
| BlackIceWitch chapter 7 . 12/29/2011
Chapter 6 reads very well indeed. Enough clues but nothing stated directly. Lovely!
| BlackIceWitch chapter 6 . 12/29/2011
"I try to stand up and stumble. There is a throbbing. A noise not unlike how I imagine my true voice would sound to a human echoes inside my vessel's skull. His eyes shut, a blinding light overtaking us as the noise continues. It grows sharp until it becomes painful."
In this para, you have used "I" and "His" ... do both refer to Castiel? Is there a reason for moving to second person from first? Not sure if this is an error or deliberate?
| BlackIceWitch chapter 5 . 12/29/2011
Okay, this review might a bit more controversial. It's purely how I felt as the reader.
At the beginning of the chapter, Dean is making love to Jo. It's gentle, intimate, the imagery is strong and the feeling one of being suspended in their own little world. When Castiel interrupts them, the mood is shattered by the humour of Dean falling out of bed and the subsequent conversation.
Not sure if this is what you were aiming for, but it felt too much for me as the reader. In addition, Castiel's warning is urgent but both Jo and Dean virtually ignore the seriousness of the situation by bantering which I found to be difficult as it was unclear if the situation really was urgent, or not. One character insisting that is, but the other two behaving as if it wasn't, if you see what I mean.
If this is the intention, then that's fine; but if not, then a re-read of the chapter would probably help. The tensions that have built up beautifully with the beginning of the scene are lost by the end.
My usual disclamer here: just my opinion ;)
| BlackIceWitch chapter 3 . 12/29/2011
"Okay, so he wouldn't have done either of those things. But he'd have made damn sure she made it out of Carthage alive.
"We don't have much time," his voice is rushed, almost breathless. "We must go now."
Dean sets his beer on the edge of the table and eyes the angel suspiciously. "Go where exactly?"
"I thought you wanted Joanna back?" he inquires, confusion crossing his features."
Might want to put in a line here that Castiel has returned. Took a couple of read throughs to realise that Dean wasn't talking to himself?
| BlackIceWitch chapter 1 . 12/28/2011
Gorgeous story and beautifully written. The dialogue was very believable for the characters, and their voices sounded in my head as I was reading.
One point ... and it's really a matter of preference, so don't take it the wrong way please. I found myself skipping over the love scenes as there were a lot and they didn't seem to add anything new. Fan fiction differs enormously, I know, and I'm not yet used to reading a lot of it, so it may be it that. But thought I should raise it anyhow. Feel free to kick if you don't like the comment :)
Otherwise, looking forward to reading your other work, and thanks for providing *some* great adult reading that doesn't involve slash or wincest!
| FallenAngel218 chapter 18 . 12/22/2011
oh you ARE evil...I really want to know what she says! I am so excited!
| FallenAngel218 chapter 17 . 12/22/2011
Nice move, bringing God in...you wrote it beautifully. I could see Chuck and hear his voice as the two talked.
| celeste301 chapter 18 . 12/22/2011
ACK! Wait! What! How could you stop there! lol, *tries to be patient for sequel*
aww, thankies for the shoutout at the beginning :)
Loved the chapter (I know I say that a lot, but it's always true).
| FallenAngel218 chapter 10 . 12/22/2011
Who is the person speaking in first person? I kinda figured out who the guy with the red sucker is :)
| FallenAngel218 chapter 9 . 12/22/2011
It was interesting to throw Jo into the mix at the end of Wicked. Good chapter!
Oh, and I like that your chapters are named after songs :)
| FallenAngel218 chapter 6 . 12/22/2011
uh-oh. It's never good when Cas gets separated, especially when his powers are broken.
| FallenAngel218 chapter 5 . 12/22/2011
Cas is such a buzzkill...nice chapter! Can't wait to see Sam's reaction to Jo.. after the blowout he and Dean had.
| FallenAngel218 chapter 3 . 12/22/2011
Hmmm...wonder what Cas is up to...I'm intrigued. And I love Dean's raw emotions, especially his anger.