|Reviews for First Contact|
| Commissar Critical chapter 12 . 1/15/2015
We bred dogs to look like human infants.
| Commissar Critical chapter 9 . 1/15/2015
This is a bit hippie-ish. Most humans do not feel this way. You are painting all humans, or even most, with your ideological brush.
| Uzumaki-sama011 chapter 2 . 1/11/2015
This is ingenious
| Name Change chapter 10 . 12/25/2014
I probably missed it, but why was Jason's name changed to John?
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/15/2014
I came here for a good story not a newspaper and a history
| darkerdeepdown chapter 16 . 12/16/2014
I demand refreshments of This tale!
In all seriousness though, I dig the style but the anachronistic parts needed to be better defined for WHY they were there (by that I mean the actual people in the scene)
| ShotgunWilly chapter 16 . 11/29/2014
Great to see you back in action!
One thing I noticed in the first section that needs a reality check unless I'm reading it wrong, in which case, just ignore me: you mentioned the experimental ships with the dreadnought grade cannons having a smaller range and I feel the need to mention that mass driver rounds like the ones fired by a ME dreadnought dont have a true range. Sure, there's a max effective range for any mass driver rounds traveling through space, but that's mostly because if you fire from too far away, the enemy will be able to dodge your rounds with impunity. Unless the experimental vessels fire the rounds at a slower velocity, in which case there would be a lesser max effective range.
That gunnery chief you find at the Citadel docking bay in ME2 lecturing new servicemen on dreadnought main guns says it best, you fire that gun and the round will keep going until it hits something, as per Newton. To quote: "Once you fire a husk of metal, it keeps going until it hits something. That can be a ship, or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years.
If you pull the trigger on this, you're ruining someone's day somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your ****ing targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a ****ing firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not "eyeball it!" This is a weapon of mass destruction. You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip."
Anyway, keep it up!
| More Dakka chapter 16 . 11/21/2014
So is this story dead or what?
| Hunter Hagen chapter 3 . 11/10/2014
I was hooked from chapter one. The story is great and flows wonderfully. It consists of a wide vocabulary and sound theory's and concepts. I'm only on chapter three and sure enough to write this review. I am more then sure this could be an actual book in the ME series... I am not looking forward to the end. Ten out of Ten stars... I also love the humanistic approach to first contact.
| Ugh chapter 7 . 11/9/2014
Ouch. Tvtropes would call this "Harsher in hindsight" and "Funny aneurysm moment".
| MaxFR68 chapter 16 . 11/5/2014
PLEASE UPDATE !
It's been way too long :(
I want to read more !
| Guest chapter 16 . 10/29/2014
Oh, and in the summary it says 2030s but in the AN at the start it says 2020s. Just thought to mention it. As I said: Great story, really looking forward to more!
| Guest chapter 16 . 10/29/2014
It started great, humanity making it's entrance to the galactic community by making jokes. Superb. The interactions between the first contact crew and the human crew was, again, great at first. The main problem is that it didn't go anywhere. The crews getting along, great. People who are sent on these types of missions are selected because they can get along with people, it makes sense. But the wider community is not quite as nice. Humans are racist toward each other and yet, thus far, not one politician has capitalized on an entirely new race to target? No celebrity has taken some idiotic stance and propagated it? No religions calling for genocide? No little blue figurines in dolls houses? I think, that if you want to accurately portray the cultural impact of such a public first contact (which would probably have been taken off the air as soon as they found an artificial object) you have to try and think of as many angles as possible. The high school kid who has been drinking too much, the surgeon who has just performed a tonsillectomy, the mom who has just brought her kids home from school, etc. And then try and figure out the net result of these people's reactions not just what the international representatives say. In my opinion it would not be pretty. But hey, I'm not qualified to say squat, so do what you like. If you honestly think first contact could be peaceful, then by all means, write it.
Well written, not perfect but nothing is. Your grammar is really good, spelling likewise. Eloquent but I didn't need a dictionary, always a plus. The italics were mostly unnecessary, people know about humanity, if you did the same thing with the other races it would be riveting (and with how they're written it feels a little like a pro-human power trip, aliens have seen it all before why would they be in awe of humanity's contradictory nature?). It's starting to feel a bit dragged out but not overly. My pet peeve is that you have ignored the first contact crew save Wavela for almost the whole story. It's beginning to lean a little to far in the way of humor.
It appears to be going from a real-time play by play of whats happening at first contact to more of a summary of the events following interspersed with mini-lectures on human culture. You're a philosopher who is looking at humanity from an outsider's perspective without taking into account the amount of experience said outsider would have to draw on. Interesting but obviously a human philosopher, not an alien. As for the conversations and interactions between the two crews, perhaps add a little more detail and remember to show what the characters feel, not tell. e.g. "Wavela felt like joining Keigo in burying her face in the table." Keyword: felt.
What I like the best:
The originality of the story, humanity meeting aliens in an unconventional and seemingly peaceful manner. The enthusiasm that you can feel radiating from the author (that's a big one). It's a relaxing read but not to the point of boredom. The issue of first contact is a serious one, yet you managed to fit humor in seamlessly.
What I didn't like:
I didn't like how after first contact everyone just milled about. Giving interviews, playing poker, small talk, etc. First contact is happening! Where is the negotiation? The political intrigue? The social faux pas that is misconstrued as threatening? The whole thing seems to have stalled. But that's it really.
It's a good story, and should you continue it I would be delighted to read.
| alanvaladez chapter 16 . 10/21/2014
A really good and interesting story please update soon I can't Wai for the next chapter.
| MMC chapter 16 . 10/2/2014
I'm enjoying this story, please continue it soon.