|Reviews for First Contact|
| badkidoh chapter 6 . 12/6/2011
another good chapter
| khaos974 chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Well, I haven't read chapter 6 before reviewing chapter 5, but it seems you did fall into the innovative/creative humans, innovative aliens cliche, I personally find it hard to believe that, the aliens were unimaginative enough not to have their own sci-fi before the humans came around, especially when you consider the ME aliens who basically behave like quirky humans in the canon ME games and books. Since their behavior is close to humanities, so should their imagination be.
That's why I find the paragraphs about Matrix, nBSG, Starship trooper incredibly cliche. Besides, those references are distinctly 1990/2010 flavored, in 2034, to the character, those are basically old movies and fiction, and I don't believe they will become intemporal enough for the average person to refer to them casually. (by imtemporal, I mean Beethoven as opposed to Spice Girls)
Finally, stretching life expectancy from 40 to 100 is really more about allowing humankind to live through their natural lifespan than extending it, centenarians existed millenia ago, and even today, there are many centenarians in Chinese or Indian village with little to no access to modern health care. I'm not saying that we don't have research going on to extend our natural lifespan, but so far, even 100 year old isn't pushing the natural lifespan of a human being.
| Hanonymouse chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
| khaos974 chapter 5 . 12/5/2011
It appears you want to write a serious first contact fic where cultural differences are being considered. A large obstacle to this is that our own culture is the result of millenia of history, an alien culture would be the same, as a result inventing an alien culture that is not dumbed down is very difficult, a writer obviously doesn't have that time, but falling into "Dumbing down" syndrome is rather common.
For example, what strikes me is the surprise expressed when confronted with the "horror genre", the Citadel civilization is made up of ten races in you canon, with billions and possibly tens if not hundreds of billions people for the major species, a huge number of subcultures would appear, especially with the great number of people and the variety of brain structures across different species. It is thus surprising that they would find the existence of the horror genre surprising.
Likewise, the technology behind automatic doors is rather trivial, especially when the Asari had space flight 2500 years ago and the Salarians 2000 years ago. It has become a cliche that the human race is the most innovative race in any sci-fi setting, I don't see why the Asari or the Salarians shouldn't be as innovative. Depicting both of them as a monolithic culture is lazy.
In short, it's interesting but don't let the laziness of the writers at Bioware or too many sci-fi cliches contaminate your work.
| condor1942 chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
This is an excellent rendition of a first contact senario, with genuine problems posed to both parties in consideration for reality. Very interesting, keep with this story.
| M-Angel 05 chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
I am truly enjoying your story, but you should do research about the counsilors. Trevos is the female asari counsilor and had been for 300 years. The bartarians had a counsilor on the counsil since before contact with the krogan. You can get all of that info from mass effect wikia on the internet.
However, I am truly enjoying this story. I do have a question. Those flashes with Nick in 'em is that far into the future or close? And the one whete the captain gets shot, is that far into the future or a past memory?
| Nightraze chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Awesome fic! I especially liked this chapter! I lol'd when Wavela was thinking about the similarities about the movies and alien history. Adding this to my alerts! Update soon! _
| Huntington's Bride chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Well done on producing two chapters with frequency. I was getting worried that you have abandoned us.
I'm starting to feel as if I should make some notes with this, set up my own time line to keep track of what's happening where. :) This is great, please keep it up.
| bluemarlin chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Another excellent chapter. Enjoyed the interaction between Wavela and the astronauts. Would like to see Wavela's reaction to feeling human hair for the first time. Please continue to update.
| He Who See's chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Best chapter in a long long while. Nice interaction between Wavela and her new human acquantences and nice hint of things to come.
| dsafasdf chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Keep up the great work! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Whatshisface v.2 chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
...I'm calling out the ShadowBroker on THIS chapter...If I'm right...9001 Internet cookies for me!
| Alrissa chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Ah, two quick chapters one after another. That deserves a review, even if, I as a glutton for stories would have liked them to be 20k word monstrosities in stead. XD
That combat squad thing is a bit abrupt but I think you have just been jumping back and forth in time (first contact and first combat are set apart by a few months or years). Hm. A re-read might clear things up for me. I was tired last night.
In short: I like how you are handling this. Even when I have NO idea about Mass Effect. At All. :)
| Liege Lord chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Interesting new chapter, I'm trying to work out though, is the stuff on the Citadel happening at the same time or after what's happening on Mars?
| Lesser Ninja chapter 6 . 12/5/2011
Bioware draws on popular fiction to create their game, and you write that into the story as a prophetic device. Oh that's good, I like the way you've illustrated how fundamentally different the thought processes are for the species, something most others neglect.
Devgru is in deep shit. This much is certain. I hope they can make it out all right, but being incapable of speaking with the natives and having a finite ammunition supply in unfamilliar territory is a tactical nightmare.
I also like how you included caseless ammunition; our own experiments with such are ongoing, and just now companies are introducing polymer cartridges as an alternative to brass. If I had to nitpick, I would complain about 5.56 being an arguably inneffective round that should have been replaced by then by 6.8 SPC or similar, yet it's more likely a better choice for the story taking into account arms deals and the prohibitively high cost/benefit ratio of replacing the standard weapon systems of the majority of the western NATO members. Also, the higher echelons of any military are sloth to adopt anything new; so specialty calibers are likely to remain in the hands of SF for specific roles. I'm going to end my diatribe there; 5.56 works, nicely done.
Your updating has exceeded expectations, I look forward to reading your upcoming chapters!