|Reviews for Awaiting the Arrival Outtake of LTK|
| Lindberg chapter 1 . 12/3/2013
Yeah so it is pretty clear that LTK has been abandoned by the Sneaky team. Therefore I have given myself permission to edit the story to my liking. Why not? I'm bored. Here's my edited version of The Reward of Patience:
The dark green sedan wove along the curvy roads of the Olympic Highway, also known as the 101. It was a long drive from Portland, but he was almost there. He took a mental note of his equipment in the back seat. He had a satchel full of items including but not limited to: a piece of rope, some duct tape, a fully automatic SMG, and a set of surgeon's scalpels. A sniper rifle was resting in pieces in its black case in the back seat of his car, just in case. In the trunk he had a tranquilizer gun. He was going to make the person responsible pay for throwing a goddamned monkey wrench into his carefully sculpted plans.
The driver glanced to his pistol in the passenger seat, watching as the light from the radio glinted off the silver scroll design on the handle. He was barely able to make out the red rose in the dimness. It had served him well and was his go to gun. It was his "old reliable", if you will.
The GPS screen had gone dark, but he would guess that there were only ten or so miles left until he was there. The car was silent with the exception of the radio playing low Sinatra tunes. He was too busy planning to want any other sort of distraction.
His goal was to make Charlie Swan pay. The police chief had taken down a large shipment of the crime lord's not two months previously. Fortunately they'd only gotten part of the convoy. They'd been sending cars through about sixteen to twenty four apart from each other with different tags to make it look like they weren't together. His men weren't captured, but his guns and cocaine were confiscated and Eleazer's favorite foot soldier, Laurent was now in federal prison awaiting the rest of the trials.
He'd never seen a scowl etched that deeply into Eleazer's face before and it made him angry. His pseudo father meant a great deal to him and it enraged him even further. His knuckles went white as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. He hadn't been this angry in some time. He supposed it was well past time to let the Dragon come out to play.
"Arriving at destination" The monotone voice droned out from the little GPS. After holding the little switch on top over, the little contraption turned completely off.
It pulled him back out of autopilot and let him refocus. He passed the diner and the high school, driving that last mile before slowing to a stop outside of a small, two story, white house. He sat silently in the idling car, staring at the darkened windows. He needed to get to know the surrounding area as well as the house itself. The one problem was that he knew that the Chief had a teenaged daughter who lived with him. He would kill her too, if need be, but he didn't savor the idea. He found it distasteful to punish someone who wasn't involved.
He sat there a few more moments, going over his plans in his mind before pulling away and going to the local motel. He took a small white pill, texted his sister and Peter, and then lay down about the time the sun came up over the horizon. It was a Sunday and he knew that the girl would most likely be home for the day. Even if she weren’t, it would be unpredictable as to when she'd be back home.
He lay his head on his pillow and fell into a deep sleep. He had dreams of what he was going to do as the sun traveled across the sky and dipped into the horizon on the opposite side. At a little after sundown, he got up, stretching catlike before heading for the shower.
While he was scrubbing himself and preparing for the night, father and daughter were sharing a pizza in front of a baseball game. The girl wasn't paying that much attention to the game, but as long as she was with her father, she was happy. The father was relishing the time he had left with his daughter before it was time for her to go off to worship the sun while gaining her education.
Back at the motel, the blonde haired devil pulled his hair back in a ponytail and zipped up his black hoodie before flipping the hood up. He checked his pockets, ensuring he had his phone in one pocket and his switchblade in the other. He slipped the gun in the back waistband of his pants and pulled his hoodie down over it. He slipped a small set of binoculars over his head, letting them rest on his chest under the zipper. Snagging the keys from beside the door, he headed out and set out walking towards the Swan residence. About half a mile before he reached his destination, he cut into the woods, making his way along just out of sight of the road until the house came into view.
He made his way around the house in the safety of the trees and darkness, keeping his eyes on the windows that were lit up. It wasn't until he got lined up with the kitchen windows that he caught sight of his target. He pulled the binoculars to his eyes, licking his lips and watching. He sat there for the duration of the baseball game, watching as he looked over to the other person on the couch that he couldn't see. He assumed it was the daughter but it could have been his best friend, Billy Black from the Quileute reservation on the coast.
It was too bad he didn't bring his sniper rifle with him. This could be over so easily and quickly, but he preferred to hang on to his patience. The Dragon wouldn't be satisfied over something so simple. Patience came easily for him, luckily. He watched until the Chief got up and went to take his plate to the kitchen. He saw a flash of dark hair go behind him to the staircase and saw the father bid sweet dreams to the daughter as he rinsed his plate off and took a swig of beer.
He watched until the father too went upstairs. He gave ample time for everyone to fall asleep before doing a slow walk of the perimeter. He kept to the shadows when he could. He made his way to the house, slowly walking around it, peeking inside the windows and checking out the porch and decking. After he was satisfied, he made his way back the way he came, through the woods until he was close to the motel.
His sources said that the Chief and his daughter were going to some kind of celebration at the Quileute reservation the next day, giving him ample time to investigate their home in the meantime. He packed his pockets accordingly with his knife and phone, along with a zip lock bag containing a cloth soaked in chloroform. He never went on a mission unprepared. He took the same path as before and came out of the woods behind the house after making sure there were no vehicles in the driveway. He approached the back door and jimmied his way in, leaving little to no visible evidence that it'd been tampered with. He slowly explored the house, committing each room to memory in case he ended up doing the deed here. He would need to have a feel and an idea of the rooms and the visible items in them.
He was almost done, inspecting the girl’s room when he heard a vehicle pull up. He looked at his watch and saw it was only eleven o'clock. In a hurry, he dropped down to the floor and crawled under her small bed. He'd never been so thankful for a dust ruffle in his entire life. He lay still as a stone and listened as the downstairs door opened and closed and as a pair of feet banged their way up the steps to the bedroom. Her steps suggested a flurry of motion as she bounced into the room. It seemed she was looking or something. A triumphant 'Ha-ha!' gave him hope that she'd found what she'd wanted and would soon be on her way off.
He almost gave himself away with a sound of surprise when she bounced across the bed and bit his tongue, literally, in order to remain silent. She bounced herself on the bed, retrieved something off her nightstand, and laid down. After a few moments he heard a rustling of pages and sounds that are made when someone is getting themselves comfortable, and realized that she had gotten herself cozy to read a book. She wasn’t going anywhere soon, and neither was he.
He lay perfectly still and willed himself to remain calm. It was important; otherwise his breathing might pick up, possibly giving him away. That would not do. Fortunately he was a disciplined bastard. He forced his breathing slow, making it deep, intentional and very, very quiet. It was during this exercise that he realized that the due to the proximity of the teenaged girl practically on top of him, he was actually breathing HER in. And she happened to smell delicious. How was it possible for a human being to smell this good, he wondered? He had already looked through her possessions when he had checked out both her bedroom and the bathroom she shared with her dad, and he knew she didn’t wear perfume. This was her own scent. It was intoxicating and he realized he was quite enjoying himself, despite the circumstance. He willed himself calmer still, slowing his heart rate to a resting point and meditating on his surroundings. He mentally went through every corner of the house as a way to distract himself and pass the time until he could make his escape unnoticed. This was turning out to be good practice. The Dragon was satisfied. And being close to the girl felt... good, strangely enough. That was a foreign feeling to him as he generally preferred solitude and had had little need to be around others. This made him wonder: why was being in proximity of this girl, some random teenager barely grown into her teenage ears, having an affect on him. This was no ordinary girl though, he had surmised so much having watched her with and without her father these past few days. She was kind, caring, selfless, attentive. That much was evident. And what kind of teenager would prefer curling up with a book instead of being out with her friends anyway? Not the normal kind, surely.
He was brought back out of his speculations when he heard a soft thumb and surmised that the book had fallen on the bed, indicating that the girl
| Amaterasu Kinesi chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
This was insightful! Technically, in a very messed up way, Jasper fell 'in love' at first sight with Bella, I suppose...
| pegasus5406 chapter 1 . 6/14/2012
It's nice to see Jaspers point of view of this story...great out take hon...thanks huggs Peggy
| lud chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
I loved Jasper POV. You could write more? He answers many questions, he was very patient, Bella waited for a year. He has had some other slave? He did not want Stephan hurt Bella, but he hurt her so much. Continue, please.
| vero11 chapter 1 . 11/13/2011
In what chapter of the main story will we find out about what Rosalie was concerned about in the paragraph below? What were the rumors?
Rose made it a habit to stay as far away as she could from those kinds of places. So why the sudden interest in it now?
"Rumors." She muttered stabbing at her salad.
I knew better than to press the issue though, not that I even cared. I'm sure if it applied to me then they would let me know and if they needed my help then they knew they could ask me and I would help them in whatever way I could.
| Midnight Ariel chapter 1 . 11/4/2011
Sick and twisted Jasper!
| Cullen Cousin chapter 1 . 10/31/2011
I still think this man is twisted in the mind!
| CCBTH chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
I love that this is around.. but it made me hate jasper and makena or whatever more. Hes punishing her for charlie.. and makena is pretending ot be her friend.. i love your stories though.. dont know how i missed this.
| Caitie126 chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
More JPOV Please!
| parkesy23 chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
good to read jaspers pov and how it all came about
cant wait for your next update
| bluegirl27262 chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Well now I know what was in Jasper's head when he went after Bella. He wanted someone with him that could be his pet but a little more. He wanted a woman that was with him for all times. Well at least he cared enough for her not to be hurt before she got there an made sure that she ha what she needed or he needed before she got there.
| frlarsson chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
Love the chapter and Jaspers POV, )
best wishes, Linda xoxo
| WolfGirl.1989 chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
I really like this, i would love it if you could carry on and then we get the whole learning to kneal from Jaspers POV
However I cannot wait for you to update LTK, its been almost a month since your last update and its starting to kill me lol.
| Balti K chapter 1 . 9/2/2011
This certainly clears up so much of his motivation. And makes him seem much more human. I am a bit curious about Peter and Charlotte. Obviously Char is not a slave. How did they get together and how does Charlotte feel about everything with Bella, and Jasper's theft of her. I do wonder why Jasper thinks he can turn Bella into Makenna when their experiences are so very different. But I very much enjoy his POV.
Cheers, Balti K
| Nicoconsd chapter 1 . 8/31/2011
Huh, it was really cool getting to see into what Jasper was thinking and how and why he picked Bella I always wondered about htat... It's got me thinking, I can't remember how long Bella has been with Jasper so far? I mean he mentioned Mekenna took 5 months and I am curious where we are at in the time frame with Bella? Might have to see if you mentioned it in the past chapter :)
I can see too how Jasper would think a slave suits his lifestyle well... but you gotta wonder how he just thinks she's going to submit... He might be a little nieve on that one :) Can't wait for the next update!