|Reviews for The Master of Delights|
| AlexiaPetty chapter 1 . 4/19
I just died because I laughed so much.
| Nix-LokiFan chapter 1 . 12/11/2015
At first it seemed normal... Then I discovered that it was crack. Pure crack.
| RambleSchapalon chapter 1 . 10/16/2015
AHAHA D'awe Voldemort now know what true love is. :)
I was hoping he was dying from a chocolate cake orgasm :P
| digbygreen chapter 1 . 9/23/2015
I prefer a dish with layers of chocolate, truffles and cream call "Death by Chocolate".
| bleeb90 chapter 1 . 12/5/2014
The time you spend on this fic was well spend. I loved it!
| TheLordOfTheSea1 chapter 1 . 6/30/2014
To put it bluntly, I laughed my ass off!
| doubledamn chapter 1 . 5/16/2014
This is fantastic. Though now Harry has to find a way to escape those who would use the Bok-Who-Bakes for their own hungry purposes.
| TegwenielWestwind chapter 1 . 5/14/2014
That was funny. Campy, but funny.
| The DCG chapter 1 . 5/13/2014
Portable kitchen idea is a rather good one.
| Denise chapter 1 . 10/12/2013
Absolutely hilarious, thanks for writing and sharing!
| Toby860 chapter 1 . 10/8/2013
| Madhatter1981 chapter 1 . 8/3/2013
One of my top ten favorites.
| Unseen Watcher chapter 1 . 6/30/2013
So chocolate wins. So let it be written. So let it be done. heh. Fun.
| alix33 chapter 1 . 6/4/2013
"Tonks had just started her morning duty of watching Harry Potter. This wasn't her normal watch time, but Snape was needed elsewhere. She heard activity in the house. Harry waking up. Harry groggily heading towards the bathroom to do his morning ablutions. Harry heading into the kitchen. The Dursleys waking up a half-hour later. The Dursleys heading into the kitchen for breakfast. Petunia whacking Harry on the head with a frying pan for not fixing the right food. Wait, did she do what I think she did, thought Tonks. She listened closer as Vernon and Dudley yelling at Harry to cook faster. The more she heard, the angrier she got. She kept wondering just why in hell Dumbledore wanted Harry here of all places. After she heard a meaty WHOMP, she decided to take action. Barging into the house, Tonks immediately headed into the kitchen. There on the floor lay Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, gasping for breath. Standing over him was his cousin, Dudley, who had punched him as he set the food on the table. Before anyone could say anything, Tonks had her wand on the three of them. "You know, I don't know what I want to do more, arrest you for child abuse, or arrest you for threatening the life of a Lord of two noble houses," said Tonks. "He's a Lord?" exclaimed Vernon. "I'm a Lord?" asked Harry at the same time. "That's right. Harry is the Lord of the House of Potter and the House of Black," said Tonks. "Also, from what I remember of James and Sirius talking, Harry owns Grunnings, the company you work for, and this house, which was given to Lily through hers and Petunia's parents." Vernon and Petunia's eyes widen in shock, while Harry, who got his breath back, heard all this and grinned. "Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, as of this moment, consider yourselves on very thin ice," said Harry. "I will be going to the bank very soon, and reviewing every monetary and business transaction. I will also be going to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement to give testimony and evidence to all the abuse you have heaped on me ever since I was placed in this house. Most of which will be going to the muggle police to be used against Dudley for his crimes, and believe me, the MLE can tell me which ones they work with." The Dursleys just slumped in defeat. Aunt Petunia started to speak, but Harry cut her off. "Don't. Just don't. Just be glad the two weeks needed to recharge the wards are over, for I don't want to stay here any longer. I'm going to go pack." Tonks kept her wand on the Dursleys while Harry packed. Once Harry was done, the pair left the house." - Take THAT, you dreadful Dursleys.
"I can tell you about the House of Black," said Tonks. "Does that come with any powers?" asked Harry. "Not unless you want to act like an American Redneck and learn how to burp the alphabet like my grandpa did," replied Tonks. "You know, that explains so much about Sirius and his family," said Harry with a smirk. "Yes it... hey!" exclaimed Tonks, just as they reached the Le Cordon Bleu school." - Hehehe.
"Let's go talk to Madam Bones," said Tonks, who just got a great idea. "Hey, do you have anything you could give her?" "You mean like a sweet?" Tonks nodded. "I have some fudge I made last week," said Harry. "Don't know how good it is, since Aunt Petunia never gets me the good quality stuff." "Let me try a piece," said Tonks. Harry got a piece from a container in his trunk. Tonks popped it in her mouth and let it melt on her tongue, which proved to be a mistake. The second the flavor washed over her taste buds, she instantly got caught up in the euphoric pleasure the fudge gave her. There was a side effect, unfortunately, in that Tonks said the first thing that came to her mind, which was this. "Sweet Merlin, what an orgasm!" This proclamation caused Harry to blush furiously. "Should I be smoking a cigarette now?" he asked, the blush still evident on his face. Tonks recalled what she had said, and joined him in blushing. "Sorry about that, it's just that the fudge was better than anything I ever tasted, including Molly's," said Tonks. "If you could do that with sub-par ingredients, you would have every witch at your beck and call with the quality stuff. You didn't use Dark magic when you made it, did you?" "I made it at the Dursleys. Why would I risk expulsion and being arrested?" asked Harry. "Good point. Anyway, I'll go change, then we'll go see Madam Bones," said Tonks. "Why would you..." started Harry. Tonks pointed down, and Harry followed the direction with his eyes when he noticed a small wet spot. Instantly embarrassed, Harry blushed again and turned around. Tonks grinned and went to change." - Fudge can make a person do that?
"Tonks... I'm gonna say this bluntly. Could you go find something to do?" "Sure," said a surly Tonks, who turned to leave... and tripped on a stray dust particle. Harry decided to take a look at her shoes. "Tonks, why are you wearing stilettos with robes? It's no wonder you trip," said Harry. "From what I've seen, stilettoes should only be worn with tight pants or a mini-skirt." "There are rules to Muggle clothing?" asked the three women. Harry just stared. "Oh, my god. I must be in The Twilight Zone. There are three women who don't know the rules about clothing!" - Hehehe.
"Harry was making a Denver Omelet for Amelia and Tonks, French Toast with a homemade strawberry syrup for Susan and himself, with fresh squeezed orange juice and cappuccinos to drink." - Yum!
"Dumbledore was not having a good couple of days. Harry had disappeared, and the Dursleys were in jail for two counts of child abuse (over-feeding Dudley counts), endangerment, and slavery." - I have no sympathy with Dumbles' bad days. And what the heck is Fawkes nuzzling him for?
"A week has passed, and the cake was finally ready. It was a six-layer work of art, (three pans of cake split in half) with the filling alternating between a mix of raspberry syrup and whipped cream and a chocolate ganache, which was also used to cover the top of the cake, with the rest of the raspberry creme mix went along the side. Whole raspberries went along the edge of the top." - Which sounds utterly yummy.
"Back in Little Hangleton. Riddle looked up at the ceiling and softly called out, "So that... was what true... love is. Mother... I'm... sor...ry..." As his voice died, his body broke down and dissolved into primordial ooze. All the Death Eaters that carried the mark, as well as the spouses who have marriage bonds to their Death Eater husbands or wives, were also affected by the waves of love through the Dark Mark. Their minds and hearts touched by what they had felt and they truly looked at each other and themselves with disgust, for they realized they did things that no human should ever do to another. Bellatrix Lestrange had it worse, as her mind was snapped from her insanity and was forced to face herself. She realized that she had no right to redemption, and did the only thing she could. She turned her wand on herself and called out, "Avada Kedavra!" - Yay!
"Bellatrix Lestrange had it worse," - "had it worst".
| GenJordan chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
Hee! I really liked this one!