|Reviews for Project Heart|
| realisticfantasy chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
i love this. it's so sweet and sad (i guess the term would be bittersweet) that it made me cry! very well-written if you ask me. good job!
| Twilight Okami chapter 1 . 8/16/2011
That was well written and sweet. It's been so long since I've seen that movie, and the only Pokemon thing that had a dark, serious side to it. Still, the only negative is that it isn't a Super Smash Bros story. You could have told how he joined, who's his friends and that. Overall it was good!
| joebthegreat chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
What are with all these contests? Why do I never hear about them? Who's organizing them and where?
Disclaimer: This review does not belong to the Quik Stop in Soda Springs, Idaho.
1.) Your poem went over my head. That is to say that the "Kokoro" part sounded like a cheap joke when I first read it and therefore it didn't seem to fit the mood.
When I read it after reading the story I understood the Kokoro reference, but I think you could have done a better job of putting the focus on that word in the story, and built some symbolism around it. The only reason the poem made sense is that I had to reread it when making this point.
2.) You're telling me they have the tech to create life, and they can't monitor any kind of telepathic message? They can't even hear them, even though he clearly can talk to people telepathically later?
3.) The father loved his daughter dearly, so he clearly has a heart, and yet he was a heartless researcher who only ever looked at data?
You resolve this issue later, but I somehow doubt he was devoid of emotion until he lost his daughter. I also doubt every single other researcher here doesn't have children.
4.) "Sekai de ichiban ohime-sama
Sou iu atsukai kokoro ete yo ne ..."
Yuck. Next thing you know people will be speaking Italian proverbs in stories.
5.) A full eighteen wheeler cargo truck overtook them on a turn by going 170 mph?
Yeah, no wonder that father couldn't predict this turn of events. He's a scientist and would never imagine such physically impossible situations.
6.) Another car was passing in the other lane? Wow, so the dad is probably a bad driver as well. And what in the hell is that eighteen wheeler doing? Why are there no police on this situation?
7.) Mewtwo couldn't understand the emotion the father felt? Wait, who's the cold soulless one here? How can he understand the other emotions if he can't understand this one?
8.) "It is just how our universe works: one can never be too happy or too sad. Something always comes to destroy it."
I think you misstep here by stepping out of the actual narration of the story to tell us in third person something as though it were objective fact.
If what you say is true, it should be shown and experienced by the characters, until they come to that conclusion. You can make the readers experience something to lead them to agree with what you say, and it would be much more effective than just telling them what you want them to believe.
9.) Communication through thought between people who don't know real language is always difficult. I think to decide that "sad" is a perfect word for sorrow to Mewtwo is a bit irrelevant to everything though.
10.) They decide to wipe his memory. Definitely a safe choice if we speak logically. And I don't think Mewtwo is particularly entitled to those memories when you consider everything they're doing in this lab, including his life, is artificial.
But that's a debate that delves into a whole lot of moral issues, and isn't something we can so clearly decide with some generic statement such as "To wipe someone's memory is a big mistake."
11.) Thinking with your brains is required to be a scientist. You can not think with your heart, and every single emotion you feel is felt though chemical reactions in your brain.
Thinking with your heart is not only physically impossible but irresponsible if you're a scientist.
12.) After one hundred years of life I guarantee you Mewtwo would have good memories.
I once read in a story somewhere that nobody can be too happy or too sad, and that something would always come along to destory it.
So how in the world would Mewtwo have been so sad and had such a meaningless life for one hundred whole years?
13.) My final statement. Why is this not a Pokemon fanfiction? This totally doesn't belong in Super Smash Brothers.
In the end, most of my disagreement is that you make your "point" so obvious and something that I disagree with. I can't simply say I don't like it because I disagree with it, but I feel you treat very deep moral issues as if they're simple questions with obvious answers. I don't like such a light treatment of such a deep dilema.
So there you go. Good luck in future stories. Some day you will perhaps write a story to prove how entirely corrupted and wrong my opinions on certain matters are. For now, I must simply say I will try to write a story some day to prove how utterly naive and wrong your opinions on certain matters are. :)
| Foxpilot chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
It's been at least twelve years since I've seen that movie. Twelve long, years filled with emotions nobody talks about. And never once-NEVER-did I think to look at it from Mewtwo's perspective.
And yet you did, to a spectacular effect. With great words, you turned the feelings of a half-born future monster into something we can all think about and believe in. It takes a lot of skill to make a horrible, heartless beast look like a confused child. Even though the Mewtwo we all know isn't evil, per se, he's still best remembered as a machine of destruction used by trainers and scientists to fulfill dreams and desires. I know my first two Pokemon teams weren't complete without my good friend Ultimate. (And his various ironic clones thanks to glitches, but that's another story.)
A few things I'd like to point out, though. First, a number of words and letters seem to have been lost in translation, leaving some paragraphs incomplete. Also, unless you're using advanced statistics, you should keep numbers out of the text. Finally, not all of us know what "Kokoro" is. I'm fairly sure you mean "heart," but I'm not completely positive.
In the words of Keith Olberman, time marches on. In this motion, things are lost, found, lost again, found again, treasured, and lost. Mewtwo will have his time again one day, One day...