|Reviews for Pentakill|
| Cerescythe chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
| Flarezap chapter 1 . 9/9/2011
Hilarious, can't wait for the next chapter, and to see pentakill all together!
| dragooner chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
meanwhile somewhere *unknown*
Cho'gath got the feeling that someone would try to steal his tophat in the near future.
| Heatman1991 chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Great story, i laughed at the great forum jokes ya put in. Good development on the characters like like Lux, though i find it random, but i guess thats part of the humor u were going for. I like it anyways and i hope more of ur works come soon
| chyunine chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
I have to say, I really enjoyed reading the story, as well as the overall concept, only to be slightly disappointed in the end. I had really hoped you would expand on the Akali and Karthus auditions, or give Yorick more character development overall seeing as how he is the best candidate for the position. I loved your characterization in general though, especially with Sona, Lux, and Olaf. Although lacking in certain aspects, this was an enjoyable read and I sincerely hope that you will consider continuing it.
| Nobody chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
This story is winning like Charlie Sheen.
Please don't make it a one shot! I need more! It's awesome! Pleeeeaaaase?
| Bludwyn chapter 1 . 8/15/2011
Oh god! I WAS HOPING THAT SOMEONE WOULD POSTA FIC ON THE PENTAKILL BAND!
I was thinking of writing one myself, buti don't have experience, and well...yeah.
Anyway! Not my idea, but your'e hardly me, so i can't blame you! It has flow, excellent plot and is basically made of pure WIN. God, i love you. (PLease don't meet me, you will be Glomped.)
Even if this was meant to be light-hearted, it has both achieved its goal, and come otu looking awesomely cool at the same time. Kudos!
| superstarAlpha chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
Unfortunately, I'm going to have to say this was mostly unsatisfying. At first, I thought it was going to be a story of Sona and Morde, and that's great. Seen it before, but if someone could make it believable to me, that'd be awesome. reading more, i then thought it would be of Akali joining Pentakill. This as well was a disappointment, not because she was rejected, but because we never saw it. We saw her, but we didn't see her audition. So it wasn't a story of Akali's joining. Maybe Lux? some great friendship thing there? no, that wasn't it, either. Overall, there is a beginning, and a rising action, but not climax, no conclusion. it's like ordering a meal, and getting the soup/salad that comes first, then the restaurant closes. so, the plot wasn't so good.
To add to that, the writing itself was very rushed, very skeletal, and not for the sake of character elaboration. The sentences were short, choppy. There was very little description, mostly surrounding Sona, who can't possibly participate in dialogue.
So, I suggest this be re-done. entirely. I know that sounds harsh, but to be a strong writer, i think you'll need to get into the habit of description. How does a person say something? what are they doing when they say it? You're very nearly correct on Sona, and that's great, the others need some work. Also, you shouldn't have to have different styles of writing for the different characters. When writing a story, try making it look like a book. that's the goal we're all aiming for, after all, right? to be good enough for publishing... oh boy! but it comes with practice, and getting better, and fixing things. This could be really good, both mechanically and plot wise. Good luck.