|Reviews for Kitsune of Fairy Tail|
| kanjichibi chapter 4 . 4/17
| kanjichibi chapter 5 . 4/17
| kanjichibi chapter 1 . 4/17
Interseting story line and good chapter, but it had a lot of grammatical mistakes.
| Lee chapter 16 . 3/9
I totally agree, while i'm not against people who go for herems. I'm under the opinion that a guy who dates more than one girl is spreading himself to thin. Btw awsome story, always been a fan for struggle for power.
| Guest chapter 8 . 2/20
This story is so good! I can't wait to read more!
| dragonfox123 chapter 2 . 2/4
Great plot and chapter
| Tsuyoi Naegi chapter 6 . 2/2
Great story, but I feel like you do too much "telling" as opposed to "showing". The exposition is cut-and-cry, and all the characters feel like they're the same person, barring one or two quirks each.
Naruto feels incredibly stale. Every once in a while he'll revert to his bright personality- being virtually unstoppable once he gets his determination on something- but you've toned down his personality by a factor of 100. He's not Naruto if he doesn't get everyone to love him, or beat the badness out of them.
I do like how you use his subterfuge to fight. Normal Naruto is an outgoing brawler and tank in battle, but does use cunning (and quite ingenious) plans that get his enemies to underestimate him before he defeats them.
You do that, and I can see it. But please, don't give us a narrative exposition of why he does it. One of your biggest flaws is that you have people know things they shouldn't- or they go against what they were told directly.
For instance, you had Mirajane call him Uzumaki Naruto despite the fact he never told her his name. You also had Naruto tell everyone he was a shinobi when Makarov told him not to say it. You also have Naruto using the Kyuubi's chakra despite the fact that at this point in his development, he hates it and would not want to use it.
Despite all of my nitpicking, I see a great shadow that the story casts. Describe the setting more, let us into Naruto's mind while he experiences everything. Color the background- tell us the sounds, the smells, the experiences, the pains and tribulations that Naruto et al. go through. Tell us how he's adjusting to a world where magic and lacrima run rampant.
Naruto may not be a pervert, but any 14 almost 15 year old boy can appreciate a woman's body- puberty plays a huuuuuge role at this age. Being surrounded by bombshells has to have some impact on anyone.
| nenopip chapter 6 . 1/30
you failed in this story. if i wanted to see a week naruto i would of just watched the anime
| YuukiAsuna-Chan chapter 4 . 1/14
i lost interest in this because its clear he could have won... the replacement jutsu is simply to good against someone like Erza and a Rasengan would trash her armor
| YuukiAsuna-Chan chapter 2 . 1/14
not to bad, but Naruto should know what a train is... he seen them in the 1st movie (Snow/Spring country has them)
| Guest chapter 4 . 12/23/2014
After all, Erza is like Sasuke on how they seem to look like Gods in terms of strenght. Ugh.
| Lerris chapter 1 . 11/4/2014
Minor spoiler to new readers: In it, Naruto eventually gains his own magic, which basically makes Naruto an OC, more or less..
| Lerris chapter 13 . 11/4/2014
As far as not having sage mode and some of his abilities, well that is the breaks for getting a Naruto earlier in the series, so no great problem there. On the other hand your really convenient bit where Naruto gets sealing knowledge and other miscellaneous stuff and learns it really quickly is perhaps a bit easy. I'd also argue against Naruto using magic of any kind, even in the form of lacrima ever. It detracts from his own abilities. Instead I would have recommended Naruto having perhaps a book on the basics of the standard elemental affinities, perhaps with say at least one C-rank jutsu of each type, a book on chakra control methods, and say a book on moderate to advanced sealing. Having that kind of general knowledge sealed on his person is feasible considering Jiraiya's training and wouldn't be too overpowered, and far more reasonable than Minato's gift. Past that he could just develop on his own, perhaps with the aid of some limited shadow clone training. Of course, you could also just say that training with shadow clones doesn't work because it jumbles things, but then again, I'd have probably recommended it only be useful for perhaps a multiplier of say less than five or so in the Fairy Tail world. (if your going to avoid it completely though perhaps you could just let Naruto figure it out, try it, and discover it really doesn't work that well.)
On a final note, you argued that Naruto is unlikely to ever figure out wind release because he doesn't have a formal trainer, yet he more or less already did a wind release just by pure desperation, so, given that, its reasonable for him to figure it out with enough effort, if he ever bothered to try. He does, after all, know that such abilities are possible and he has endless shadow clones to try foolish and crazy ideas out. Even if they don't really work to learn with, the successful clone could just write down what he figured out. Of course, given that he is likely to try for something like fire first, if he doesn't know his affinity might slow things a bit.
| Daemon Sadi chapter 25 . 10/16/2014
thanks for the story :)
| LordHatredX chapter 25 . 10/13/2014
ahh thats to bad this was very good story
! ! !