Reviews for I Negative Bullet
Cpt.Rabbit chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
Not gonna lie, the spelling is a bit annoying right now. . . But even though SOME grammar is bad, overall its high quality. I'm gonna keep reading and see how it turns out, Its fairly interesting so far. . . And its a crime to not give such a long story a chance.
Terry N. Muse chapter 100 . 11/3/2013
Wow. Just wow.
That was an incredible story. My hat, if I had one, off to you.
Great storytelling, eases into the big incident well, still retains a little humour, and nearly a million words! Great work, Sorrow!
gotonis chapter 3 . 9/11/2013
I'm sorry, but your rendition of Mima really doesn't work for me. There isn't much that's really evil about your Spirit of Makai. Her being one of two Hakurei Shrine gods is an interesting and fanon-compliant idea, but...

Other than that, the concept is pretty interesting, and I'm optimistic about later chapters. I really hope that the amount of length-inflation from annotations goes down. Seeing from next chapter, his super-powered ? side still seems OP, circumstances aside. Maybe it's just confirmation bias, but...
Sakuya Lv9 chapter 36 . 5/17/2013
Okay, so I am already here at Ch36.

I have to applause for your work of the 2 immortal fights. Audible thoughts are awesome. Chô sure has a way to get himself into trouble. Keine's moon model is a very good example of your creativity and flexibility when writing this. Yuyuko with Tewi's ability on is hilarious. etc etc.

I also like how you put profiles of characters at certain points of the story. It kinds of provides background information, and helps organizing thoughts together.
Sakuya Lv9 chapter 20 . 5/13/2013
Enjoying the story so far. So, your view on danmaku and spellcard is that they are the ability everyone (at least youkais and some certain humans) is born with?
Sakuya Lv9 chapter 12 . 5/12/2013
I am liking this story so far. (I read it on phone so is not able to review)

The story is entertaining, I like your OCs. Only thing I want to complain is: Stop fearing about people complaining Most Touhou characters have overpowered "abilities". It's just too easy for Sakuya to just stop time and cut Chouzen in 1mil pieces, for instance, Come on, you don't need to "balance" anything. This is a story, not a frickin game!

(I know, this is probably WAAAY too late... but heck, I just wanna say somethin :P)

(Oh and, when you say "Rumias", you meant "Rumia's". Don't forget that ', it's important.)
Nightshade chapter 1 . 1/15/2013
Too lazy too login to my account, so I'm writing it on this.
I can really see how much your writing and grammar has improved over the time you wrote this. I haven't read the last 30 or so chapters because I don't have time but you really have come a long way.

I'm Flandre Nightshade Scarlet, though I highly doubt you'll remember me. I last posted in February. 2012. _
Tezmanian Typo King chapter 100 . 12/22/2012
-claps- Haha what a nice comedic last chapter after all that has happen. Good to see things going back into peaceful chaos. Man so many things I would as but I'll most to myself although this Minoue chick has caught my interest. A shy mima is fine to but a drunk mima is hilarious! I don't want to make a wall of text so I'll withdraw for now. -shuffles away-
StupidityNowOffersWisdom chapter 100 . 12/22/2012
Sorrow, just what the Hell have ya done to Chozen?!

Meh, an I'll bear with it, yeah. Your writing is as bloody hilarious as always.

-nori
Moriyaism chapter 100 . 12/21/2012
Hello It's that mysterious Anon who finally made an account. Sad to see it end but it's been great and there's always the next book . As usual, I'll be reviewing as I read through so... yup.

'"What happened her, anyways?", I asked and nodded towards the large hole aside us."
I think you mean here, not her.

'"Guess so. I have yet to clean up something's as well... If you catch my drift."'
I don't think the apostrophe in something's should be there. Somethings should be 'some things' as well.

"They told me to give you their best regards, but they couldn't stay anylonger..."
Anylonger should be 'any longer'

"informed me Remilia with a small smile on her lips."
This should be, 'Remilia informed me with a small smile on her lips'

"And that Jiang-Shi was almost secure about it"
I think you mean 'sure' not secure

"The news of your return have just reached me."
Have should be 'has'

Amazing as usual I'm actualy really curious about Minoue but I can't firgure out who her parents are TT I completely missed all the hints towards the next book. Unless the next book is about Minoue and her parents, or more specifically her father if I had to pick.

Okay rambling time. Soo I was really bored and I suddely thought, 'What would Negative Bullet be like if Insanity awoke as the dominant character?' Of course he'd still lose his memories but he'd have the personality of Insanity and the equivalent of himself in his head would probably be Nihilist Gekido. And then he'd probably be wielding Tyrfing and Rumia would be wielding Alastor. No idea how that'd work out though, maybe the trigger of her rampage through Gensokyo was her accidentally killing someone like with Yuuka and she got Alastor as her rampage started? Meh. Insanity needs more spellcards though :P Yeah, rambling over. See you in the next book
Tezmanian Typo King chapter 99 . 12/12/2012
Oh wow I was blown away is all I can say. The ending through had me laughing. If I rember right I sorta called it on everyone turning around to take out chozen. Good thing it was another epic misunderstanding. Well I look forawrd to this epilgoue. Keep it up -sets of fireworks-
deaf mute chapter 99 . 12/11/2012
...And after that epic ending, this goes straight into my favorites. I must admit, I had a few tears in my eyes at one point ;o
Nicolas Crossworth chapter 99 . 12/11/2012
The final. Oh my Kanako...
This is it. The last chapter till the epilogue... Time to pass judgement, SorrowfulReincarnation.

Note that I'm ready this as I go along. I'm going to do my worst and best on giving this series the review it deserves.

Twilight and darkness has shrouded paradise, saviors do their best in this final battle...

Alright, so this is the final battle with Mima. The atmosphere is intense and I'm itching to see the show happen.
"I put my hands over my ears and growled, tried to block out the horrible noise"- you can replace *tried* with *trying*
"And yet, my honor and my pride stood in my way, told me to not let Gensokyo or anyone else down. Even though they were shivering in fear."- You can connect the second sentence with the first one by using a comma.

Gekido... Stop Gekido... What the hell? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! OI, YOU SPINELESS WINP DON'T YOU FREAKING RUN AWAY! Oh... Oh ho ho ho... The Insane One's back.

I have to say, tension's building up pretty well here.

Now I have the battle running, as always, your magic in fight scenes and details. SUPERB.
Now having to make such hard decisions in the middle of a battle can't be good on Chozen's performance. The guy seems to be holding up pretty well there while talking to Insanity. Gotta like that return sender strategy. Though, I'm kinda expecting Chozen to use his very first spellcard at the last moments of the battle. You know that card that sent back a Master Spark? Now that'll be cool.

Just got past the first round, Nanatsu to the rescue!

"As I heard Nanatsu's voice behind me, I darted around and stared at the shinigami and the angel of death that ran towards me, both carrying their responsible weapon."- Alright so regarding Nanatsu and Rumia's action, maybe you can change *that ran* to *who were running*.
Also, about *responsible weapon*, did you mean *respective weapons*?

Yeah Rumia, talk some sense into that idiot! I almost thought for a moment that unlocking the Negative Soul will end everything. Alas, like Chozen, I was wrong.

"You force me and Nanatsu to destroy you. And you know that."- At the first 'you' maybe you can add a *will* after it so it doesn't seem too awkward.

"rose Tyrfing to the height of her chest, and stared beyond me."- *raised* will be fitting than *rose*

COLOSSUS, man the cannons! Unexpected summon is unexpected. Ah, and by the way, I noticed that you're putting *ed* on words that shouldn't have them... Just sayin', ze! Also you can always try and replace *impacted* with *hit*, but its your choice.

Interesting, the fight escalates to unimaginable levels. Despite being the power spirit she is, Mima and Chozen are in par during this battle.

"Keep yourself under control... And you should know better than that. This isn't a game... This is a war.", I snarled back"- Okay no mistakes here, but I just wanted to quote: War has changed... It is no longer about Danmaku, tea, or donations. It is an endless series of proxy battles, fought by magical girls with a Walking Enigma and an Evil Spirit. Hehehehe

Ah, I know this one. The time where the heroes think they've defeated the boss only to have it reveal its final form. Good times, good times. Someone play a Final Fantasy boss music! I wholeheartedly agree with Insanity on this one. Either Chozen hits the eye or the forehead. Oh god... You just didn't pull a 'Legend of Zelda boss weakness'?

Gah, the music cues. Should've known. What, me? Oh don't mind me, just enjoying the show.

Slipping between past tense and present tense, my friend. Don't worry, it happens to all of us. You know Cho, you can always fly. Or does Mima's dark magic prevent you?

"Mima's upper body swung forwards"- you can omit the *s* in forward.

Dude... It's bad enough Yuuka died, but for nature to take back... Darn it... Oh, it seemed like it was the last straw for Mima.

lol, oh Insanity. Stand up comedy is the perfect job for you. Mima's transformations remind me of Frieza's from DBZ. Going under changes till she reaches the perfect form. Played the Bayonetta soundtrack, brix were shat. Fitting, very fitting.

"If used together, those weapons granted incredibly strength"- you can change *incredibly* with *incredible*

Holy crap, Mima going derp in a middle of a battle. Scary as hell yet funny at the same time. Hey, HEY, BAD MIMA. OFF THE MERCHANDISE, THAT RUMIA'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HURT.
Uh, Cho, us fans would care if you'd go. And there's the rest of Gensokyo backing you up at the start of the arc...

Oh god... that did not just happen.
wait...
Wait just a half second here... I see a pattern. Cue music, you magnificent bastard!
Currently at the edge of my seat. Yes, I can predict the ending from here on out. This was a fast one, but by calculating the size my scroll has left, I'd say that "Bad End" teaser was false!

Someone off screen: No shit Sherlock.

Shut up Cirno! Anyhow, this is amazing... A bit cliche but what the hell... Nothing beats a final boss like rounding up all of your friends and ganging up against it. Final Fantasy Advent Children, eh? I'm not going to complain. I can hear FFVII's OST playing...

*slow claps*

I have lump in my throat. My heartstrings, a sad last fight... Every hit Chozen takes is a symbol of Mima's sadness... Of her pain, of her despair... Every hit Chozen sends her is like a wake up call in an attempt to bring her back to reality. Yo know with all of these emotions built up, I would say that this battle didn't need a background music, but... Having one for it just made it sadder...

Wait... Shinki...

M-m-moving on, *wipes tear from my eye*
We finally know the contents of the letter. Yay...

WHAT?! HOLD ON, WHAT?! Why is everyone fighting?!

Now that... Was... confusing? I-I dunno, but... Whoa... So much info to take in so little time... I just... Whoa... Congrats, my friend for finishing this series despite its great length... I would've sai more but I'm working on borrowed time here... Amazing simply amazing. This fic had it all...

Final Judgement? White.

Good End No.1 (?)
StupidityNowOffersWisdom chapter 99 . 12/11/2012
Good lord, Sorrow.

That was just so epic that no. Words can properly describe it owo

Ahhhh, can't wait for the epilogue and sequel ahhh.

So much epic!

-nori
Anon chapter 99 . 12/10/2012
YES YES YES AND MORE YES. MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE. Although this also means homework won't be getting done for a while.

"If I hadn't been sitting on my ass already due to being thrown backwards as the arm and the sword impacted with one another."
Seems like a run-on. Maybe two separate sentences?

'"Whatever you do, do not allow Chôzen to fight each other!..'"
Chozen and Yukari

Alright so I finished reading and I must say, I LOVED IT NGJAENJETHGEA. I've been waiting for this chapter for so long and as always, it's worth the wait. Hooray for somewhat happy endings (umad Yukari?), even though I prefer dark ones, but when the story itself is this good it doesnt really matter. Glad that Mima and Yuuka are up and kicking butt as they are in my very large group of favorite characters. Loved the part at the end where it was pretty much Chozen and allies vs Yukari and co. Just imagining Chozen and Mima owning everyone was amazing xD I eagerly await the next chapter :3
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