Reviews for Mass Effect Premonition: The End of Dawn
Mass Effect Enthusiast chapter 53 . 3/18
I'm enjoying your work, regardless of release time between chapters or how many re-writes there are. Truthfully, if you want to re-release your work as you feel you can do better, then that should be something that anyone whose been enjoying what you've produced so far should welcome. Looking forward to your newest product, best of luck with your contined efforts!
anotamous chapter 52 . 2/10
I have no thoughts on the dark matter theory, as for rewrites, at some point you have to STOP REWRITING EVERYTHING, this is the forth or fifth rewrite that you have done. At some point you have to say 'enough'. I might reread the story, but not likely. I would like the chapters to be 5k plus words, but only if the update rate is not affected. I am liking where this is going, precisely because I have NOT A DAMN CLUE where it is going, which is rare for me. I am just hoping you don't whitewash the fact that the Geth genocided the Quarians, like even the main Mass Effect canon did. Hope to see more soon.
Janizary chapter 52 . 2/10
1) A big problem with the original dark energy plot is that it made no sense in the 'organics vs. synthetics' scenario. If the dark energy destabilization was a byproduct of biotic use, what did that have to do with synthetics? I think that was the fall back position that Casey took after abandoning the DE plot-line.

The most interesting DE plot-line I've read has been in Lgoicalpremise's 'Fear Unrelenting, Seen Darkly'. The reason for wiping out intelligent races at a certain point finally made sense, if for reasons other than canon that is for certain. And a reason for the cycle. The cycle was important. It roughly followed the original DE plot, but filled in the gaps where there were gaping holes (which even DKap admitted to).

I love to see other interpretations though. Anything but the colored lights ending.

'Vastly different endings..." We remember that quote, Casey. I suppose Red vs. Blue. vs. Green is 'vastly different' is some people's minds. ;)

2) Yes. I have purposefully not re-read so I can re-do at the end.

3) I do not suffer from TL/DR disease. I like long(er) chapters.
Gunnersam chapter 52 . 2/9
Great chapter, and don't worry about delays and school-I'm currently having that and it's horrible, so I really feel. I'm interested about the ceberous open-mindness, what exactly the motive is. Is it be-grudgingly accepted, or tis there some thing else?

As for dark matter, I have one, kind of basic theory, probs complete rubbish, but what the hell! The 'dark matter corruption we see in the stars is because they aren't necessarily the naturally occurring Stars.

At the conclusion of each reaper cycle, the mass relay system is de-activated. The unavoidable war with the existing species normally causes the reapers, on moment of arrival, to self destruct all relays, preventing any interstellar resistance forming, isolating the Galaxy and cutting off their supply lines. As the reapers are practically immortal, this is not only a viable choice, but a strategic one. And therefore, the war stretches on, with the inevitable conclusion.

Once the reapers have completed the cycle, the mass relay system is rapidly re-built, but there is one programmed to jettison them far into deep space, a longer and further distance than what is thought capable by any mass relay is relatively unstable, with huge amounts of highly charged eezo electrons colliding at nearly 1000x the rate of other mass relays, with extensive focusing equipment and stabilisers, to keep the thing from imploding under the amount of energy released from its electron collision.

It Is with this mass relay into which the reapers disappear into deep space, the mass relay being power full enough to jettison them deep enough to be sufficient. However, the massive release of energy the moment the mass relay is activated overloads the stabilisers in place, causing the already unstable (even with stabilisers) core to collapse within itself, causing the formation of a 'dark matter core' not unlike a black hole, except it is semi-solid. The wreckage of the mass relay, undoubtly pulled apart by the chain reaction, is attracted to the core, as is various space debris. Over the next 50,000 years, an unstable star forms around the core, a freak of nature, due to its attraction properties which should be impossible.

Of course, the dark matter, despite causing the Suns exsistence, causes it to age rapidly as well, creating the unstable star we see at haestrom. The reapers were initially unaware of the phenomenon surrounding their exit strategy, but became aware of it when it was observed by an advance scout, not unlike sovereign, many cycles before the protheons. Therefore, the reapers use them as a bluff-it is in fact beyond their control, but as resisting species don't know the capabilities of the reapers, or how much they can influence, it can convince many races to believe that the reapers have a weapon regarding a sun that they are testing, both demoralising them and leading them on a wild goose chase for a counter, preventing them from producing usefull technology's in the resistance of the reapers.

The Suns themselves finally super-nova around 70,000 years after the core's creation, meaning there is usually only one per cycle which is active. However, due to their instability, this is only a rough guide-some last only a few thousand years, others are presant for two cycles. The haestrom one is looking to wear out very soon, having a more unstable core as we see.

Lastly, instead of collapsing in on themselves and forming black holes like regular Suns, these instead super-nova, caused by a chain reaction in the core leading to an effective 'detonation'. rarely, this happens during the cycle, and can wipe out the inhabitants of any local planets by shockwaves alone. The planets themselves are ripped apart at their surface, becoming not unlike the origional surface of earth...

Anyways, that's my long winded and incredibly detailed(but is that detail right?) theory, hope you enjoy, and till next time!
Ernest.Shippinglane89 chapter 51 . 2/9
So Garrus and Jack. That's certainly a very intresting pairing.
Exar Kun IV chapter 52 . 2/9
Great chapter.

I really like where everything is going right now.

as for your questions.

1 No clue. Not smart enough to think up anything, other then it would be a better way to explain things in the game.

2. Most likely yes. I did it before why not again.

3. what ever gets written. i always like longer chapters, but your writing is never lacking so its all good.

Till Next Chapter
guest 6 chapter 52 . 2/9
Happy to see a new posting. In response to your questions.
1. No theory on black matter, but it's got to be better than the star child and colored lights.
2. I'll be happy to re-read the stories once you've got them where you want them. Already re-read them once.
3. Your current length is fine. Most fanfic I burn through as fast as it's posted. A few, such as yours, I wait until I can spend some time enjoying it.
MasterHollow chapter 39 . 1/5
Lol I always thought that Olasie and Juel would make a good pair I do wonder if that might come about
MasterHollow chapter 27 . 1/3
Quick question when Taku omni tool was talking the letters were all random and jumbled is that suppose to be like that?
MasterHollow chapter 6 . 12/30/2014
Did this story have a rewrite? It feels a little different than the last time I read it?
Nebuchadnezzar2 chapter 51 . 11/24/2014
1. She's going off the rails of a crazy train.
2. She's good and all, but it seems like everybody easily befriends Tali, whose technically of a high caste among her people... now I ain't saying she's a gold digga...
2B. OC Make it interesting. Otherwise, we'd be reading the things we do for every playthrough of Mass Effect.
2C. It's good to grow more attached to characters before you kill them off.
3. Stuff is going to go down.
4. I see either a good old fashioned " last line of defence " kind of battle, or just some quick skirmishing with scattered Geth defenders.
5. Try not to go crazy with all the relationships-among-the-crew fervor.
Darth Cruel chapter 51 . 11/16/2014
Awesome story, loving every chapter. Can't wait for more, keep up the good work.
bofomania chapter 47 . 11/13/2014
Great characterization of Rael in this and previous chapter. Interesting ideas also on what life on the flotilla might look like. The lineup for a slice of fruit (on the Rayya) as well as Tali & Juel's description of a repair (Neema's intranet antenna) were very effective.
Gunnersam chapter 51 . 10/20/2014
Brilliant, been following this story since my early days as a guest to now. Keep it up!
coastierks chapter 51 . 10/12/2014
This is one of the best Mass Effect fanfics I've read. Keep going.
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