|Reviews for Seized With Life|
| Jaina chapter 12 . 10/31/2014
Please update soon. I need to know what happens next! :)
| Velgamidragon chapter 12 . 10/5/2014
Phwoo! Darn, it's been a long time since you published this chapter and I'm only just NOW getting to it? Man, I'm slow. Anyway, I'd say this is heavy stuff going on as of late, but that would mean that we HAVEN'T been getting heavy stuff in previous chapters, which would be a downright lie. I must say; that first section of this chapter really had me shocked, because I knew for certain there was no way it was true, but I had no idea what was going on either. Raven's potential answer to the problem was also something surprising, moreso perhaps because it had been suggested in a previous chapter and was turned down. Well, come what may, I really do hope that everything will eventually work out for everyone involved because their lives seem to be just one drama after another, or perhaps just a series of unresolved dramas. Sometimes, life just smacks you hard all at once.
| Impure Paradise chapter 8 . 9/3/2014
The remaining flashbacks had a lot more humor involved, which I loved. I've placed some of my favourite humor moments from the flashbacks in the 'Quotes' section at the end of the review, all of the ones that had me laughing out loud and clutching my ribs. I also couldn't help but laugh each time that Cyborg spoke the words "That's poetic" (he said it three times in this chapter, I believe) because it's so true, a lot of the dialogue is quite poetic, and sometimes that's really refreshing because you get some great moments out of it. I'm interested in reading more about Raven during her pregnancy. I do love the flashbacks, because it's like they're working their way up to the present time, you know? We're getting to see how things are playing out, but we also get to see how things happened between the two-year gap in the first chapter. It's like it's all coming full-circle and it makes it so much more enjoyable. I also love it because nothing is left to the imagination. By you taking the time to do these flashbacks just proves how patient you are and how you're not at all a lazy writer, you're letting us read these things rather than just letting us imagine how it all got to where we are now, and that's fantastic.
Highlights: 1) The Terra/Beast Boy interaction in the beginning that left me desperate for more. 2) Getting to see more of Cyborg, and more of The Parents with Rain. Just the whole scene, it really promoted the family vibe that I still agree is my favourite aspect of the whole story. 3) Robin's conversation with Starfire. It really helped me understand the situation from Robin's point of view, something that I hadn't gotten to see earlier. 4) Jinx's friendship with Starfire in the flashbacks. I said that I was excited to see their friendship, and getting that glimpse of it certainly did not disappoint. 5) Terra clearing the air with Robin at the end. I just hope that their conversation means that her affections for Robin have finally been put to rest after all of these years, and she can finally find some of her own happiness with Beast Boy. I also hope that this means we see more of Beast Boy in the future.
Criticisms: (This is not specifically a criticism, rather something that I wanted to address in the review) "But I beg you, leave her [Raven] out of it. It's not her fault, it's mine. Blame me, punish me, hate me if you must..but leave her be." This is a piece of dialogue from the flashback scene involving Robin and Starfire. In this flashback, I gained back a lot of the respect that I lost for Robin in the beginning, because the way he handled the situation proved that he only had good intentions in mind and proved that he recognised that he did something that wasn't necessarily wrong, but wasn't right either. However, I don't believe that Raven should be justified, that all of the blame should be placed on Robin's shoulders alone. The old saying is, "It takes two" and Raven was just as at fault as Robin was. Raven was not the one dating Starfire, no, but she is Starfire's friend, she knew all along that Robin and Starfire were involved, and it didn't stop her from sleeping with him. She is just as at fault, if not more at fault. The same goes for Terra. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle even bringing this up, because we've already spoken in length about the instances involving cheating and we both have different views on it, but I feel like I would be being untrue to these reviews if I didn't speak my mind about everything I felt the need to.
Suggestions: No suggestions today.
Quotes: 1) She lived, today, because Robin had showed her how to, Beast Boy had given her reason to, and little Rain had given her what even the men in her life could not-hope. 2) "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And I'm running out of things to wear." 3) "Raven is not better than you-she's just a better fit for me." 4) "Terra, you have my permission to clober the comedian." 5) "Don't act so proud. I've seen you eat M&M's off the floor, remember?", "That was a family secret." 6) "If I could get up, I would hit you." 7) Now, do you mind helping me up? Because I really need to use the little sorceress' room."
All in all, this chapter had its ups and downs, it started off strong with Terra's thought and feelings, and it stayed strong up until the end. I really enjoyed reading this chapter and it was everything that I hoped it would be. Once again, I apologize for the radio silence, but as I mentioned, I do have some extra relaxation time, so I will try to get back into this story so that I can fully catch up. I'll also try to reply to some emails, although the emails might take longer than the reviews for SWL will, because we do tend to chat a lot and therefore, have giant emails, haha!
Hope this review finds you well. As always, stay awesome,
| Impure Paradise chapter 8 . 9/3/2014
Hi, Chris! As of this moment, I'm mentally giving myself a hard time for being so radio silent for the last week (two weeks?). Things are still hectic, I've been spending a lot of time working on re-decorating in my house (both my bedroom and the kitchen are being re-decorated at the same time, so there's lots of pulling up carpets and paint fumes and it's not very fun), as well as trying to work out my own writing and tackling all of the errands I've got to do. Basically, I treasure all of the free time that I get and I usually use it to relax or sleep when I really should've been shooting you an email to let you know what's up. The good news is that I've got some extra help for the re-decorating so I get to have some breaks (hooray) which also means that I got some time to read the next chapter of SWL which I had been dying to read for God knows how long. I'm going to halt the 'me' talk now and get into the chapter. Hopefully you're cool with the radio silence and aren't too upset by it.
I was glad to see that this chapter starts out with Terra. I'm used to seeing Terra with the group, specifically with Robin, Raven and Rain, so it was nice to read about Terra when the aforementioned characters are not in the same room. I also liked the mention of Slade. I was unsure if his character would make an appearance in the story - minus the Human Stain series - so what you wrote about him definitely left possibility for his return into their lives. Then again, I do remember our talk about how this story would not contain action, so it leaves me to wonder how it would all go down if Slade did return. Another part that I enjoyed about Terra's paragraph was how she and Beast Boy can have a laugh and flirt with one another and act like a couple and it's just..easy, you know? It's like they understand that there is a lot of hardships between them, but they don't let it get to their heads. With Terra's affections for Robin and with Beast Boy having to wait to really get somewhere with Terra, it would be extremely difficult, and I think that they both get that, they deal with it in their own ways, but at the end of the day, they push aside any issue so that they can enjoy what they have, and I think that that's very beautiful and very in-character for both of them. I really do love how you're going about their relationship.
Finally, we get a nice, light scene with The Parents and Rain, and Cyborg's presence was a massive bonus. I loved the second paragraph. It's nice to see Robin and Raven engaged in their usual bickering. When Cyborg spoke of how all of them need someone, I could really feel the whole vibe of 'The Family'. I mean, a lot has gone on between the members of the group, there's betrayals that have gone on between all of the women of the group, and the men had their own hardships that have tied in with this (minus Cyborg, considering he is the only member of the group that has not kissed/dated/slept with another member of the group) but even through it all, they still cling to this amazing family dynamic that they spent years building, which is really sweet and inspiring.
You know my personal feelings about the Robin/Starfire/Terra/Raven situation, and I felt very set in my opinions of it, I still do, though the first flashback paragraph did allow me to gain back some respect for Robin's character here. I think that he handled the whole 'going to set things straight' angle very well. After everything that had gone on, he could have gotten to a point where he just ran from it, but he knew that he had to talk to her and he didn't run from that, and I respect that choice because it was the right thing to do, even if it was difficult for him. There was a section of dialogue in which Robin said "I didn't realize something was missing until I went back home to Gotham," I do think that him saying this was a little untruthful, considering he did kiss Terra before this. I think that Robin knew all along that what he had with Starfire was nice and comfortable, but it wasn't..fireworks, you know? It wasn't the relationship that he was destined to stay true to forever, and I think that he did realise this a long time ago, especially during the kiss with Terra, but he was too afraid to admit it to Starfire, and it's strange watching such a strong character be afraid of feelings, but it gives his character depth beyond words and beyond what we're used to so I do think that Robin's involvement in both of the cheatings are explained well, although I still do not find them justifiable.
Also during this flashback and the final flashback, Jinx made an appearance, something I was extremely happy about. You've kept true to the character that you introduced in earlier flashbacks. By that, I mean that she's still the one who is unafraid to speak of what everyone else is thinking about. She's not sugar-coating her words to Robin or Starfire, she's speaking easily, she's not needing to think about what she's going to say before she says it, and that's very true to Jinx's character, both in the show and in earlier flashbacks. I still have not seen enough about to Jinx here to really examine her characteristics, but you did mention that she takes a bigger part in the story later on, so I'll be sure to give you my full review on Jinx as we come to it.
| Jae B chapter 12 . 8/6/2014
Dude, Raven has the worst idea ever and I'm pretty sure BB will never go for it. I'll have to see how you plan on writing this segment. You obviously have numerous ideas for it. Keep it up.
| Jae B chapter 11 . 8/6/2014
Wow...I need to catch my breath after the length of this chapter. The most crucial point I got out of this segment is that you cannot, without a doubt, control or even choose who you love. I'm seeing the soap opera effect in the girls' behaviors. Nice touch.
| Impure Paradise chapter 7 . 7/25/2014
This chapter gets off to a great start with some classic Robin and Raven banter. The banter then transformed into a serious conversation about Robin and Raven getting married, which is a continuation from the previous chapter, which I was happy to see, because I was worried that the topic of marriage might be pushed aside until a different time, so I'm glad that we got to get right into it. I like how it's not overtly romantic when they talk of marriage, more like a "Hey, sure, let's do it" as opposed to a "Yes, yes, a million times yes!" because the latter does not fit with either characters. I feel like they both would be very blase about something like this, that they would soon gloss over it but inside, they would still feel excited by it, so it's great to see how true you are sticking to the characters in this situation.
Next we have Robin and Rain watching cartoons, and it was so heart-warming to finally see a moment between Robin and Rain because there hasn't been many so far, so just seeing them interact was amazing! I love how you added that Robin and his father used to watch the Roadrunner when he was a kid, and that he wanted to pass on that tradition with Rain. It was incredibly sweet! I also liked the moments between Robin and Raven in this paragraph. The air feels tense since the casual proposal, but it's not awkward, so it's just the perfect amount of friction and normality. I would have loved to see Raven join them in watching the Roadrunner but I'm still praying for some family moments at another time!
Terra and Beast Boy! I said that I wanted to see them together, and this scene gave me just that. As you know, I had little love for the Terra/BB relationship, and I had always prefered BB to be with Starfire for how well their characters mix and would play off of each other in a romantic sense, but this story has really shown me that I do like Terra and BB's relationship more than I had ever realised. You made me hope for them, hope for the best for them, and that's not something you do with a couple you have no interest in, so you really showed me how much I do in fact like the idea of them and for that I'm thankful!
There was a lot of emotions for the rest of the chapter. After seeing some marvelous Raven/Robin scenes, we got to see a dream which broke my heart. I mean, Terra was already going through so much, and now suicide is added to the list? I feel so much for Terra right now. As I'm writing this, I'm actually extremely exhausted and I feel as though I won't be able to really get into Terra's anguish, so I'm going to get into it more in depth during the next review. But for now, I would like to say that watching Terra go through this is extremely painful. I also felt sorry for Robin. All he wants is to help her and she's determined to die, or at least she will live so long as she knows that Robin will always be there for her (that whole part made me extremely uneasy because it felt a lot like a guilt-trip but I'll go into that another time).
Highlights: 1) Raven acknowledging the Starfire betrayal, and Robin's direct and understandable response. 2) Robin and Rain watching cartoons.
Criticims: 1) (Robin shrugged innocently. "Hey, they were all bad!") This is some serious nit-picking, but I felt that Robin's body language of casual, innocent shrugging, paired with an outburst of dialogue did not fit in well together. Again, serious nit-picking here, haha!
Suggestions: 1) As I said a couple of days back, I would love to see more in terms of description. Your way of handling dialogue really does a lot to show how the characters are feeling, but sometimes it would be nice to get more of a visual. For instance, "Ok, I guess I can see that." She sniffled, feeling happier. This is a line from the Terra/Beast Boy scene, and the way it rolls off of the page is rather dull to my ears. I think that it would have had more substance had you gone on a more different route, such as; "Ok, I can see that." She sniffled, feeling her earlier tears tone down until they no longer burned painfully behind her eyelids. She looked at Beast Boy, and she took in his words, and suddenly she didn't feel quite so hopeless anymore.) Okay, so that was a lot of description that a lot would call too much, but it's just to give you an idea of how these sentences could be given more substance, let us connect more with how the characters are feeling during the moment. 2) It also would have been great to get more specific dates from flashbacks. "Three years ago" tells me when it was, but not enough so that I can know how long it was after certain events or how long before certain events that I've already seen. When I write a story, I plan out the timelines so that I always have a specific day (The month, the day, the year) in which the scene happened so that the readers can really understand how far they've been taken back and so that there will be no confusion. I wasn't confused by the "Three years ago", it's just more of a personal preference of knowing how flashbacks slot into the spaces of other flashbacks, if any of this makes sense?
Quotes: 1) "If you die, I want your stuff." (Raven is so sassy and funny, I love it!) 2) Somewhere I lost the ability to love you back. But I'm trying, BB. I'm trying so hard."
I probably shouldn't have tried to tackle this review when I'm practically half-sleeping, because it means that it's not as insightful as I wanted it to be, but I wanted to get the review up today because I have a lot to do tomorrow and a lot to do next week and I didn't want to be worried about this review coming in later than I had promised - a terrible excuse, I know. But I will try to get into more about the ending of this chapter next time.
| Impure Paradise chapter 6 . 7/24/2014
Hi, Chris! I found some time to read this chapter, thankfully. I had planned on reading and reviewing two days ago, but lots came up, so I'm sorry if I kept you waiting to see the review! This review is actually a lot shorter than the others, but as you know, not as much happened in this chapter compared to the other chapters, so there wasn't much to comment on, but the review is still pretty lengthy, so I hope that you enjoy reading it.
We start of with Robin going into a flashback, and I was so happy because I absolutely love your flashbacks! This particular flashback was interesting, because we got to see Robin and Raven before they got together in Gotham, and yet you can still see that there are feelings there, Raven practically exuded her feelings for him in every stare. While it was a somewhat serious scene, stemming from Robin 'threatning' to take Starfire to the gathering and then showing how Raven didn't want that to happen, simultaniously hinting that she has some large feelings for him at this point in time, there was also some hilarity here and there, mostly with the notion of Raven wearing a fourteen hundred dollar dress! That was strange to imagine xD Although, from the time in which the flashback occurred (before Rain and the cardealership) I wonder where they had the money to buy such an exorbitantly priced dress. I'm sure that crime fighting doesn't neccisarily pay. Nevertheless, it was a fantastic flashback. I enjoy how we get to see Robin and Raven's relationship progress from best friends to an engaged couple without just hearing about it. You never tell, you show, and you always make sure that you have time in a chapter to show what we need to see and I respect you a lot for that. I admire your ability to make the time and effort to let us all experience the time skip and the progression of feelings when some other authors just do not do that.
The family dinner is a scene that I enjoyed immensely, because as you already know, I'm really enjoying The Family, how they are all so close and we get to see them all live with one another and play off of one another's reactions and moments with The Family always hold promises of some great humor! I enjoyed how we got to see Robin and Raven acting all 'married couple' even though they are still not married (speaking of which, when is this wedding going to happen!? I'm super looking forward to the wedding!). There was probably more 'married couple' moments with Robin and Terra than with Robin and Raven, but I still enjoyed what was given xD
Next we get to hear about what The Family enjoy in terms of movies, which I loved because we got to know more about them. I wrote something in the last part about the Robin/Raven wedding and then I just read about how they haven't even spoken of it, which confuses me because I was under the impression that they were engaged to be married (I don't know why I thought that, I either read it at some point or I just assumed. I must have assumed that they are engaged, at least that was settled in this scene). I felt like there could have been a better way to get from the discussion of movies to marriage, not because of how Raven suggested it, but because it still seems unrealistic for people to be talking about a movie and then transitioning about how fulfilled they are in their life. I've made my veiws on some of the ways you go about your dialogue blatantly clear before, and I hate poiting it out because I really think that dialogue is one of your greatest strengths and you come up with some outstanding lines, but I sometimes feel that the way you go about having the characters say what you'd like them to say is unrealistic. Right now, I could imagine Robin and Raven doing the dishes, Robin asking Raven to pass a plate, and then having that somehow turn into a conversation about contemplation of life, I could imagine that happening in the story from what I've seen, and yet that just wouldn't happen in a world outside of the page. I don't say this to be mean or to upset you, of course I don't, it's just something that continues to stand out to me and I feel like it's an area in which you could improve if you looked at your page and imaged the scene you're writing and if you could imagine it happening to a regular joe.
The rest of the movie scene was heavy because we see Raven and Robin talking about their commitment and why Raven wants more. I can see where Raven is coming from right now. Her day-to-day life is very unfulfilling, she could definitely make space for more out of life. I think, from what you've shown from Raven's character in this chapter, is that she's living this new, human life, she's grasping humanity with everything in her, and she thinks that she's getting what she needs out of life, but the things that she wants (a real family, a marriage) out of life, she isn't getting. She wants to feel like she has more of a purpose, and a marriage is a purpose that she has in reach. Robin, meanwhile, seems as though he is denying Raven any chance at a marriage, but I can tell that he's thought about it, just from how easy it was for him to come right out and talk about it without acting overtly shocked at the very notion of marriage. I feel like Robin understands what she wants, but he's worried that they may come to regret it. They are both very solitary, reclusive people, and for either of them to get married would be a huge thing for both of them, it would change them, and I feel that Robin is worried that they might jump into something that neither of them are ready for. Although, because of the fact that two very introverted people have found love in each other, I personally think that a marriage between them would be easier than they think, because they would both understand that the other needs their space, which wouldn't happen if Robin were to say, marry someone like Starfire, or if Raven was to marry someone like Beast Boy. We discussed something like this before, and it very much applies to the situation of marriage.
Highlights: 1) The Raven and Robin moment in the beginning. As I said, it's great to be able to see how they became what they are in the present, to be able to experience their feelings grow over time as opposed to just knowing it. 2) Beast Boy's big-brothery relationship with Rain. There isn't a lot of moments where we get to see characters beyond Robin, Raven and Terra interact with Rain, so getting to see how well Rain reacts to Beast Boy's presence in this chapter was a big highlight for me! 3) Family dinner and movie night. All scenes where The Family all come together are highlights for me, they always seem to calm down some of the dramas that goes on and that's always nice. 4) Raven openly admitting her desire to start a real family with Robin and Rain. Her growth in character since the beginning has been something that I've enjoyed immensely, and you've been doing a fantastic job with keeping her in character, keeping the core and essence of Raven intact, while still developing her, and adapting her to experience these certain situations. It's a brilliant thing to see.
Criticisms: 1) There are many times throughout the story in which there are missing quotation marks. I can usually tell when they have gone back to speaking, but sometimes it makes me a little confused. I know that you said leaving mistakes in grammar is what you'd like to do, but perhaps giving a fix at the puntuation mistakes will make it easier for new readers to understand certain things. 2) At the table, Raven explained to Robin about how Terra, Starfire and Beast Boy took Rain out to the park and how she almost spoke, which Terra followed up on by telling Robin that Rain was instead babbling, but I can somewhat recall that Robin already knew about this from the last chapter, so they may have explained something that he already knew. This I could be wrong about, I'm just a little certain that he was already aware of what happened. 3) I would have enjoyed to see a little more description during some of the scenes. You always have a good mix of dialogue vs facial reactions, as well as setting the scene, but there are some parts (especially in the flashback of this chapter) in which it reads as a big helping of dialogue with not a lot of indication of what else is going on. In the flashback scene, I saw it as Raven and Robin standing perfectly still, facing one another in a room that had not been described, while speaking to one another. But I wouldn't take this so seriously, especially coming from me. I tend to over describe a lot of things because I dislike under describing so much.
Suggestions: No suggestions for this chapter. I like what I've seen, and when I try to come up with something to suggest, my mind comes to a blank, so there's no suggestions for today.
Quotes: 1) "If a dress is supposed to use fourteen hundred dollars worth of fabric, why does it look as though I'm only covered with five hundred dollars worth of it?" 2) "Okay, I have no idea what the heck you just said, but I know it was some kind of insult." 3) "There's a metaphor in there somewhere."
While not a lot went on this chapter, it's still got everything I've wanted to see for the past couple of chapters; more flashbacks, scenes including all of The Family, moments between The Parents and Rain, and some character development for Raven and Robin. These are all things I look forward to and this chapter gave me them all so it really made my day! Hopefully reading this review will make your day too!
| Impure Paradise chapter 5 . 7/20/2014
I took notice that part of the first review still managed to get cut off, so just add this part to the end of the review from my account if you reply to it;
"Nevertheless, it was great to see Robin at work again. I just imagine him, sitting at his desk, his computer blocking his vision of the chair on the opposite end, his business cards laying in a stacked pile beside the paper work scattered on his mahogany desk. I don't really understand what it is that you do, but you're great at providing a mental picture. You provide the big details of a setting, but also the little, seemingly insignificant details that really build the metal picture together in your head and let you experience the world rather than simply read the words. Every writer knows that it's about showing, not telling, and you've got a great handle on that."
This review-too-long thing is getting crazy! I promise to try to shorten down the reviews if that's what you want xD
| Impure Paradise chapter 5 . 7/20/2014
Seeing Raven spend some quality time with Rain is something that I've been eager to see since the very first chapter, and you certainly did not disappoint. Rain rummaging around the clothes while Raven bickers like a true mother about laundry was fantastic! We really got to see Raven in her element. Judging from how little time she spends with Rain, I would think that she would be quite uncomfortable in really sentimental situations with Rain, but you can clearly see that she isn't and I think that's great. When Terra came into the scene, I once again found the dialogue to be randomly heavy. Terra asked Raven if she was okay, which is usually a very casual question, although it turned into Terra talking about how she likes the type of person she is now. I feel like you're trying to make every single conversation have this deep, emotional feel to it, but to me, all it does it make a lot of the character's dialogue seem out of character for them, personally, and also makes the dialogue unrealistic to the situations in the scenes. I'm sorry if this sounds as though I'm being overly critical, it's just how I feel when reading. It's good that they can all have these intimate and emotional conversations with each other, but when they're happening in every single scene, at random and strange times, it just lessens the intensity of what they are saying.
It was fantastic to finally see a scene between Terra and Beast Boy. It may have been brief, but it still allows the readers to see that at this point in time, they're still very comfortable with one another. And I must say, Beast Boy must be an extremely patient man to have waited for Terra for over three years, but that just goes to show how much he loves and cares for her. I think that if Terra and Beast Boy ever do get together at some point, that it will be a very big, flashy relationship. BB is going to want to cram a lot lost time in there. So I'm excited to see how Terra and BB's relationship pans out, hopefully she can one day move on from Robin and not cause too much hurt to BB by stringing him on for so many years with no real promise of change in relationship. BB definitely deserves better than that, but I think it will be good to see him express his emotions over Terra's feelings for Robin, because it's something that we didn't get to see in the flashbacks. You mentioned a big scene for BB in your next chapter, chapter thirteen, so I'll be look forward to seeing it!
Highlights: 1) Raven and Cyborg's banter. 2) Starfire's immense maturity. 3) Jinx telling it like it is to Raven during the flashback. 4) The quality mother-daughter bonding between Raven and Rain.
Criticisms: 1) I felt that the transition from the first paragraph (Raven and Cyborg's conversation) to the flashback of herself and Starfire was a little misplaced, just judging from the fact that she was speaking to Cyborg, speaking of how they have an unspoken understanding that they can talk to one another, and you used that to shoot to a flashback. I just got the feeling that I got when people end scenes at strange times/strangely, in general. 2) Raven 'began simply' a lot. There are lots of way to show readers that a character is beginning to speak, but I felt that the word 'simply' used to describe how someone spoke was used quite a few times, at least enough for it to become noticeable to me. 3) There was one instance in which you wrote "Terra said" when it was actually Raven responding to something that Terra had just asked.
Suggestions: No suggestions today, I think that the story is coming along great and I honestly couldn't think of anything to suggest!
Quotes: 1) "Sometimes I have to remember that we're raising two children." 2) "I won't lie to you." , "Perhaps not with words. But what about in your heart?" 3) "Believe me, I know how things get when you don't communicate. The roller-coaster gets old." 4) "I value your friendship." 5) "I envy you sometimes. He loves you so simply, without having to think about it."
All in all, this chapter was very bittersweet, what with the parent bonding and the flashback. There was a lot that the chapter had to offer; We got to see some real development for Raven, what with her being very sentimental with both the way she spoke and acted around Cyborg, and how she showed her true colours as a mother towards Rain, and I think that her change in attitude might have stemmed from the fact that Rain is almost talking, she's realising that all of the big moments are coming and that things are going to get brighter and lighter for The Family. We also got to see another flashback. I mentioned in my last review that I was hoping to see some more flashbacks of the missing three years soon so I'm glad that the Starfire-and-Raven-convo was added, even if Raven spent more time talking to Jinx than she did Star in the scene, haha! Speaking of Jinx, it was great seeing her back too. I'm eager to find out what she's doing right now. She's obviously moved out of the tower, so I can't wait to see where she lives now, who her friends are, how she spends her time. I hope to see her again soon!
I will try to reply to one of your emails today as well, but I might not get enough time. I put off writing a lot yesterday and barely got half of a paragraph written so I'm trying to limit my distractions for today. But if I find myself at a slump, I'll get started on the emails. I'll read chapter six tomorrow (wow, I'm catching up fast, haha!) and be sure to get the review sent by tomorrow as well.
As always, stay awesome,
| Impure Paradise chapter 5 . 7/20/2014
Hey, Chris! This review came a lot quicker than I thought it would, but I got through the chapter faster than intended so here it is! I wrote this up in a notepad document again because I can tell that it will be cut off again. I'm just going to send half of it through my account review, and then the next half through a guest review, because it makes it easier that way. Without any further ado, let's get on with the review. (Hey, that rhymes!)
In the very beginning, you spoke of how Raven was looking to share the news of Rain's babbling with the one member of The Family who wasn't aware, and I first assumed that it would be Robin, but then you said Cyborg and I got super excited because that means a Cyborg scene! I got to know more about how you portray Cy's character. I got the impression that he's a little bit of a perfectionist - constantly working on his T-car, trying to make it that little bit better each time - and I think that it's perfect for his character. I like how he brought up the 'second baby' topic that seems to be running through everyone's minds, but he did it in a more gentle, understanding way than Terra had in the previous chapter. He thinks that it would be a good idea, but he's more comprehending to how Raven would feel more comfortable speaking of it. I'm rambling, I have no idea how to explain what I'm trying to explain here. Hopefully you get the picture. Speaking of the 'second baby' topic, it's got me thinking that maybe there is a second baby in the picture later on, which is super exciting. Of course it would be better for them to wait a while, considering both Robin and Raven barely see much of Rain as it is (just judging from the fact that the other members of The Family seem to be taking Rain out places while Robin is always working and Raven's absence speaks for itself) so they'd need to be comfortable with spending more time with Rain before they could even speak of having another. People do say that the first baby is always the hardest and you've shown that a lot so far. Moments with Rain included are usually calm and fun and happy but when Rain is not in the scene, but she is being mentioned, you can tell that it's not easy for them, not as easy as it may seem.
I think that in this story, Starfire is by far the most mature. During the flashback scene, it really allowed me to see that she knows when to let her true feelings shine, and when to take a step back as to not rock the boat. I'm actually really surprised that Starfire is so up-beat in the story, that she isn't dealing with trust and abandonment issues, especially when so many of her closest friends have betrayed her. I mean, looking at the big picture here; Starfire became a part of the Teen Titans, this world of personal safety and friendship and love, and the group is really what made her into the excited, cheerfully optimistic person that she is (As most can tell when they see how Starfire acts in episode 50) and, years later, she finds love with Robin, and they might have been happy (Starfire and Robin's actual relationship always seems to be skimmed over, so I don't know if they were really happy or if there was always problems there) and then she allows Robin to bond with Terra, because she knows that any jealousy she might have felt is selfish and wrong, and she trust Robin completely. But Robin kisses Terra, and he doesn't even think of Star once during or after it. He doesn't tell her about it, because then Beast Boy (who was not even dating Terra at the time) may find out. Then Robin leaves Starfire for months and she doesn't complain because she knows that he has to do this. Robin then returns with Starfire's pregnant best friend, Raven. And the baby is Robin's. And Robin didn't tell her even though Raven was eight months pregnant and he had plenty of time (this I'm not sure of because it was not specified in the flashback if Robin told her before or not, I'm just judging from her reaction. Surely she would have been less angry than she was if she had known for eight months.).
I mean, Starfire was by no means my favourite character of the show, she'd be lucky to be in the Top 5, but I just can't stand to see all of this. It's not that I dislike the conflicts in general, I think that the amount of pain she receives is what will really build her character later on, and you did a good job of reasoning why all of this happened, it's just that it seems as though we're expected to forgive all of the characters involved. Robin cheated on her, twice, and that has much lessened what respect I had for him in the beginning. Terra's complete lack of guilt during the kiss and the time she offered herself to Robin also lessened my respect for her. Raven had the decency to be entirely honest with Starfire, but at the wrong time. I felt that if Raven had come to Starfire before she slept with Robin, that it would have made everything so much better. When I think of it, what I want for Starfire is for her to happy, and I feel as though having to live with the people who constantly betrayed her trust, feelings and friendship must drive her insane. I feel as though she should move on from them, move out of the tower, and find happiness with someone who will appreciate her, because I have no idea how she could possibly forgive Robin after cheating on her twice and knocking up her best friend. I'm rambling now, but seeing Starfire go through all of this is making me really emotional. It had been in your intention for Robin to have feelings for both Raven and Terra, so I begin to wonder why he was dating Star in the first place, because he already had enough girls on his plate. I just kind of feel like you needed a reason for Star being in the story and chose for her to be "Robin's ex" so that she would bring some guilt on Raven's part every once a while. Whenever Star is mentioned, it's followed by Raven's guilt. I just hope that in the future chapters, she becomes less of the "punching bag" of the story and more appreciated.
What I love about Jinx in this story is that she is not misplaced in The Family. She is not a part of it, not really, but she is a person that drifts in between and leaves her mark every time. While The Family are all so close that sometimes they feel that they should hold things back, in fear of conflict and upsetting another, Jinx tells it like she sees it. Sure, deep down she may care if what she says hurts people, but she would never allow that to halt her from speaking her mind and being honest - brutally honest - when she needs to be. Sometimes what people need are what they want to hear, but other times, most times, people really need the truth, to know what others are thinking of them or what they have done/are doing, and I feel that you noticed this, you noticed that there needed to be someone there to take the harder approach to conflicts and you made Jinx that person for them, and it's a good choice because it's so fitting for Jinx's character. I know that you were eager to hear my opinion of how you portray Jinx, and so far all I can say is that from what I've seen, you have nothing to worry about concerning Jinx. Her dialogue sometimes is hard to imagine her character saying, but it's always followed by some sort of sarcasm that one could imagine her ending with. You've evolved her character to what I would have loved to see from her had the TV show ever continued onwards; she's sassy, she's humorous, she's still got her backbone and wit intact, and she's grown fonder of those around her which generally makes her scenes a lot more interesting to watch. We never really got to see how she would interact with the Titans in a non hostile way but I always wanted to, and while I can't see that in the show, I can see it here and I'm grateful for it!
As for Terra, she's still a ball of sunshine as she was in the previous chapter, and it's heart-warming to read about her smiles and up-beat energy, especially after chapter three, but I have to say, I'm totally disappointed in her right now. Not only because she made a bet concerning Rain which, if she won, and did, would upset Rain's mother, but also because Rain was starting to talk and instead of rushing right home to let Raven and Robin possibly hear their child's first words, she paused at an ice-cream truck to make said bet. Even if 'Robin put her up to it', it was still not a nice decision on her part, and I can't see why Robin would rather have his daughter filled with sugar than hear her talk. It's a somewhat small thing, but I still felt bad for Raven. She seemed oddly more up-beat and sentimental through her chat with Cyborg, and I think she was excited, so it was a shame that she got her hopes up for nothing. Hopefully Rain will have her first words soon and it will be a beautiful moment for Raven and Robin.
During Robin's scene, I did find that the dialogue felt a tad unrealistic. One minute, Mrs Davenport is offering an invitation to dinner, and the next Robin is barraging her with all of his life story concerning Raven, Rain and even a mention at his age and past girlfriends - a very big over exaggeration with the words 'all of his life story', but I sometimes over exaggerate to make my point. I just tried to imagine it, and in no way could I imagine that someone would sit there and speak so openly of his personal relationships with two strangers with whom he is with at a place of work. I can imagine someone speaking of their relationship, yes, especially when their significant other is asked to a double-date/dinner situation, it's just the dialogue that Robin used was what made it so unrealistic to me. You may not even recall the words you used, but I'm sure if you looked over it now, you could maybe see what I'm trying to get at?
Nevertheless, it was great to see Robin at work again. I just imagine him, sitting at his desk, his computer blocking his vision of the chair on the opposite end, his business cards laying in a st
| Impure Paradise chapter 4 . 7/19/2014
Well look at that, some of my review got cut off again, haha! Luckily I was smart enough to write the review in a notepad document so I'll just copy and paste the rest. I'm seriously sorry for these long reviews, they must be doing your head in!
(Continuing from last review)
In the ending of this chapter, we get to see Terra, BB and Starfire having fun at the park, looking after Rain, which was all so sweet for me. The thing that I love most about this story, the thing that draws me in, is the fact that the Titans are all together, and they're The Family. They all look after the littlest member, they're all friends and get along great together. I do love some tragedy and drama and conflict, but moments between The Family is what I think makes this story so spectacular. You've got a little bit of everything, a healthy balance between happy and sad, good and bad, elation and tragedy. I felt so worried when Terra mentioned that Rain was beginning to speak. I felt amazing, happy, because Rain is finally going to start talking and this is such a great moment for Raven and Robin, but I also felt a little worried too because I'm scared that Raven, being as disconnected to Rain as she is right now, is going to miss a lot of the big stuff, if you get what I mean? There's a chance that she might miss Rain speaking and I just hope that that doesn't happen and she gets to hear her daughter's first words. I do also think that if Raven realised her detachment will cause her to miss the important, pivotal moments in Rain's life, she might decide to spend more time with the little angel. A girl can hope, right?
It's time for highlights, criticisms and suggestions, and also my newest segment of reviews, Quotes. There was some great lines in this chapter, a lot of them very light and humorous, and I've put just a couple of my favourites down there. I hope that you like reading the favourite quotes, I hope that it makes you realise that you're a freaking wiz when it comes to dialogue!
Highlights: 1) Starfire and Terra still using their powers even in adulthood, showing us that their powers are still efficient even now. 2) Robin at the car dealership, and on the Titans Communicator with Raven while he was at work. 3) The Robin/Beast Boy hug! It was all kinds of sweet and wonderful and I was smiling like a maniac when reading. Their friendship is something I'd definitely love to see more of in the future! 4) The Family outing at the park, and the playful moment between Terra and Rain with the hair-tugging. I said earlier that I wanted to see Terra interacting with Rain and the scene did not disappoint!
Criticisms: (I find that pointing out grammatical errors and issues with punctuation would be a waste of your time considering you already understand that they are there, and would like to keep them there, so I won't be pointing any out from now on.) 1) As much as I adore how you've written Terra, brought her character to life, made her completely grow on me in the space of three chapters, I was upset to hear her proposal of intercourse to Robin. She wants him, she feels as though she needs him, and it's good that she considered Beast Boy's feelings and tried to want the same from him, I respect her greatly for that, but it's almost as if she doesn't care about Starfire at all. During the flashback, Robin is still very much involved with Starfire, Terra even knows that his feelings also lie with Raven, and she's still attempting to have him, she comes off as terribly greedy and egocentric in that sense. When she was preparing to retrieve her memories, Starfire was sitting with her, Star was smiling and feeding her promises that she would okay and that Star would be there for her, yet when push comes to shove, Terra would gladly sleep with her boyfriend and not cast a thought about it. The way she spoke to Robin made me feel as though she wouldn't even feel guilty for Starfire. I understand that Starfire is not a major part of this story, she's Robin's ex girlfriend, a member of The Family, but the lack of consideration she gets from Robin and Terra upsets me. Terra's words to Robin, not mentioning Starfire at all, made me lose quite a bit of respect for her.
Suggestions: I have no suggestions at this point. Right now, I think that everything you're doing is stellar. The only thing that I can think of to suggest is perhaps some more friendship-ly moments (Robin/Beast Boy, Raven/Starfire, Cyborg/Beast Boy and such. These three friendships are all really spectacular and I think that you could do a lot with them. You're great at showing emotion in writing, and I think you could really make these friendships stand out). And maybe some more love and time for everyone's favourite shapeshifter and alien princess!
Quotes: 1) "You know, there's such a thing as being too understanding, Boy Wonder." 2) "And we're trusting Beast Boy not to drop my daughter on her head?" 3) "Everything alright?", "Not everything." 4) "I know I played with your trust, deceived you all...but it wasn't an act with Beast Boy." 5) "She thinks I'm a petting zoo. I keep telling her that's what Beast Boy is for."
My final notes are; spectacular chapter! One of the best so far. I personally have a lot of love for chapter three, but it's hard to decide which I prefer more because chapter three and four are so different, one is very dark and heavy, one is very light and sweet. Since I prefer darkness, and I love how much time, dedication and detail you put into the third chapter, I'd lean more towards it. But this chapter also had a lot to offer and I can tell that you worked really hard on it, and all the hard work was definitely worth it. I didn't expect to get this chapter finished today, but I did, super quickly, so I may start on chapter five tonight as well, after I get some errands done. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, as always!
I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on the chapter, and that you're having a wonderful day!
| Impure Paradise chapter 4 . 7/19/2014
Hello again, Chris! I planned to read this chapter tonight, but I found a little spare time and thought I'd have a quick peek at the beginning, and just like in the previous chapter, once I started, I couldn't stop, so this review comes quickly! It's not as large as the last review, but I've written it up in notepad so that if anything gets cut off like it did the last time, I can come into the document and copy and paste the parts that got cut off and send them in a guest review, so either way, I won't need to recreate the review and you'll have my full and immediate responses to the chapter!
I'd like to start of by saying that this chapter began very lightly. We get to see Robin at work, conversing with Raven and a married couple. You get into backstories, you fill the gaps and answer the questions, and it's all so calm and collected and really takes the heaviness off from the previous chapter. Although you didn't go from heavy straight to light, you transitioned it all very well, letting the readers take a breather after reading of Terra's tragedies.
Near the beginning of this chapter, you divulged more of their adult lives that we didn't get to hear much about in the first chapter. Beast Boy working to promote vegetarianism (go Beast Boy!) and working in the mall. Cyborg, I already knew was helping Robin with his customer's cars from time to time. And Starfire, whose work I found most interesting. I like that Star is still an occasional crime-fighter, using her powers for the greater good, while still having plenty of time to spend with The Family. I also loved how you told us about Terra helping out with the park. When reading, I just got this sort of image in my head of how much Terra would smile from putting her powers to good use and doing something to take pressure off others (the construction workers) so that part was a definite highlight for me. I loved getting to know how each member of The Family have adjusted into adulthood and made the tough decisions and have gotten themselves some work to help keep the family home afloat.
Although reading about everyone's work lives makes me wonder what Raven must do all day. From chapter one, we can see that she doesn't spend as much time with Rain as the avarage mother would. She barely feeds Rain, because she allows Godmother Terra to make sure that Rain is fed and happy at the end of the day. So I was wondering, if Raven does not work, but also does not spend most of her waking hours with Rain, what is she doing all day? I think it's safe to say that she wouldn't need to meditate every single day. I just wonder if she has any hobbies that you might mention later on, informing us of how she goes about her days. I'd love to get a little insight into the life of Raven, although I'm saying this in chapter four, so my prayers may have already been answered.
I felt so much for Raven when you spoke of how she is jealous of Terra's closeness with Robin. I feared that she may shake it off and not see anything to be envious of. Showing that she is in fact jealous, that a part of her just wishes to hate the blonde, shows that your portrayal of Raven is extremely relatable and it gives her a vulnerability that isn't seen often. I like how she is still friends with Terra, she doesn't hold resent over something that she can't control (the bond) and she isn't going to let her jealousies come between Terra's closeness to Rain. I think that Raven understands exactly why Terra needs a little figure like Rain in her life, Rain can give Terra a sense of purpose in her day, and Rain is also very young, she doesn't look at Terra and see everything that The Family will see (because while The Family know of Terra's tragedies and would look at her a lot differently than those who have no idea, Rain doesn't know, she's too young to even understand) and I think that Terra needs Rain just as much as Rain needs Terra's kind presence. And while I in no way want Terra to replace Raven as Rain's mother, I can't wait to see Terra spending some time with the littlest member of The Family.
I have a lot of respect for Robin from reading his scene with the Davenports. He's not like any other salesman, that's for sure. I love how you added the dialogue explaining that had Robin been anyone else, he would have been fired for the way he operates on the job, because when reading about Robin's approach to selling cars, your mind instantly goes to "Wow, what does the boss think of that?" and you explained it which I loved. You literally leave nothing to the imagination, you find things that may seem small and still take the time to give them meaning, like you did with Starfire's progression in speech. The whole scene in the car dealership was a great highlight for me. It was nice and light, we got to see how Robin interacts with his customers, got to see the customers faith in him, it really was sweet to read!
I like how you said during the scene where Raven and Starfire were speaking through the communicator that Raven had called on the strength of her friends, of Robin, when defeating Trigon. Your words were strong, they made me smile, made me feel something, and it made me realise that in that scene of the actual show, Raven did call on Robin's strength. She wasn't destroying Trigon for herself, she was doing it for everyone, her friends, and she couldn't have done it without them. She couldn't have found the power without Robin's help. You picked up on something that hadn't even occurred to me when thinking back on the episode.
I also like how you explained how Robin and Raven ended up in Gotham, how when it came to it, he chose to take Raven with him. The scene between Robin and Starfire tore at my heart, the scene where he came into her room and found her crying because she heard that he was going to Gotham. As you know, I'm not a 'shipper' of the couple, I never have been, but I'm never opposed to seeing their romance because it is very light and beautiful and sometimes it's nice to see that in some stories. So seeing the moment was very sweet. I felt saddened that Robin, in that moment, knew that his feelings were shared with Raven and partly Terra, and you could tell that he knew that they weren't going to work, but he end things with her. I understand that Raven had to go to Gotham to help Robin ease the bond between himself and Terra, but I saw no reason as to why Starfire wouldn't have gone along as well. It had to be that way, yes, it just makes me sad for her character. I mean, Robin kissed Terra, didn't at all think about Star during it or how he shouldn't cheat, then Terra offered intercourse to Robin, again not thinking of how Star would feel if she found out, and then Robin leaves Starfire hanging by a thread for months to leave town with the girl that he also has feelings for. It feels as though Starfire is the punching bag of this story (we all know what almost every story has one) and it hurts because we know that no matter what The Family do, Star will always forgive them even if they don't deserve it. I'm rambling, and I'm sorry. I just felt so many emotions for Star during this chapter. When she entered a scene, I was an emotional wreck. I feel terribly sorry for her. I just hope that she will get some happiness in the future chapters, happiness that cannot be taken away.
When Robin was trying to explain why he and Terra couldn't happen, why they are the way that they are, and Raven continuously finished his sentences, I felt as though she was subtly explaining that she feels the same towards him, that her words apply to her also, and I absolutely loved that. It was smartly executed, enough for the readers to see it if they squint, but not enough for Robin himself to pick up on it. I just really loved the whole thing there, it was amazing! I hope to see more flashbacks of the missing years, because with each flashback, so many of my questions are answered and it means that I can head to the next chapter feeling fulfilled with the knowledge. What I feared when reading the first chapter was that you wouldn't explain anything of what happened during the three year time-skip, but you're adding flashbacks that all line up (by this, I mean that first you did Terra's flashbacks, and then the flashback that happened after Terra's flashbacks. Like, they aren't randomly placed, they come after each other so I'm never confused when reading them) and it's as if you're slowly piecing together the missing years while still allowing us to enjoy the present time, and it's just amazing to get to experience how they got from teen heros to adults instead of just being told what happened between that time. The flashbacks are allowing me to connect with the characters and relate to them and understand them. It's marvelous! I've never felt so connected to the characters (aside from when I'm writing them myself, because you know that it's easier to connect through writing than reading) but you've managed to help me connect to them all so effortlessly!
In the ending of this chapter, we get to see Terra, BB and Starfire having fun at the park, looking after Rain, which was all so sweet for me. The thing that I love most about this story, the thing that draws me in, is the fact that the Titans are all together, and they're The Family. They all look after the littlest member, they're all friends and get along great together. I do love some tragedy and drama and conflict, but moments between The Family is what I think makes this story so spectacular. You've got a little bit of everything, a healthy balance between happy and sad, good and bad, elation and tragedy. I felt so worried when Terra mentioned that Rain was beginning to speak. I felt amazing, happy, because Rain is finally going to start talking and this is such a great moment for Raven and Robin, but I also felt a little worried too because I'm scared that Raven, being as disconnected to Rain as she is right now, is going to mi
| Impure Paradise chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
Hello again, it's Allison. I'm going to recreate the part of my review that unfortunately got cut off. It won't be exactly the same as the original ending of the review, but hopefully I can get most of what I had tried to say in there!
(Continuing from where it was cut off)
Criticisms: 1) There were a couple of mistakes regarding punctuation. 2) There was also some errors in grammar here and there, although none of them were so out-of-place as to make the sentence a complete confusion. 3) There was one mistake involving a word twice ("-her voice reverberating off of every wall, reverberating.") it could be intentional, I'm not entirely sure. 4) During the scene with Raven and Starfire near the beginning, in which Raven was attempting to convince Starfire that Robin aiding Terra would be a bad idea, I felt as though Raven's dialogue was taking things a little too seriously. I understand completely that the sharing of minds is a delicate and very intimate experience, but all that Robin and Terra did was see each other's lives, live in one another's minds, almost as if they grew up together because they instantly learned all there was to know about one another, but Raven was making it out to be so much more, sharing mind and heart, when it didn't seem that intense to me, personally. I'm having a hard time trying to describe what I felt about it, I just hope that you can figure out what it is that I'm trying to get across and also not take offense to it. 5) I found that the dissolving of Terra's clothes was a strange thing to add, personally. It felt as though it wasn't needed, just a moment of randomness that lessened the intitial intensity of the scene for me. 6) From the last chapter, I'm almost entirely sure that it was told that Robin and Starfire are dating, which means that during the kiss scene between Robin and Terra, Robin cheated on Starfire. Robin cheating seems quite out of character to me. I know that you had to show Robin feeling things for Terra, I just feel like you used their new bond to diminish everything wrong with what went down between them. Robin did not think of his girlfriend once when kissing Terra. He was thinking of how much he wanted to give this to Terra, but not one thought to the girl with whom he was actually involved, and then after the kiss was over, they had their discussion about Robin's feelings for Raven. While I do not in any way enjoy the relationship between Robin and Starfire in general, the fact that Robin carelessly cheated on her is still a kick in the teeth to both characters in my view, and it caused me to wonder why you made it as though Robin and Starfire began the relationship that originally happened during the Teen Titans movie, because he was going to have feelings for two girls, neither of which being Starfire. 7) Robin not informing Beast Boy that he shared a kiss with Terra. Yes, Terra asked Robin not to tell BB about the kiss, and Robin wants to go through with that, he's her friend and doesn't want to go against that wish, but he has been friends with BB for a lot longer. I could not ever imagine Robin keeping something like that from one of his closest friends, no matter the circumstances. I understand that Robin has a deep, emotional connection with Terra, but having Robin follow the request makes it seem as though Terra is all he cares for now, because he kept accepted other Terra's wish (the version of Terra that no longer exists, because she is now the original Terra again). It all just felt like a kick in the chest to me. 8) Original Terra's voice. Her voice was emitting and conversing to both New Terra and Robin, although the way it spoke was so robotic and different to what I'm used to Terra sounding like. It was obviously intentional that she spoke that way, I just found it hard to take seriously for a moment there because I figured that Terra would sound like Terra. This one, you really shouldn't pay much attention to, this is nit-picking on my part.
Suggestions: This isn't really a suggestion, but I would love to see more Cyborg pep talks. His conversation with Jinx just reminded me that Cy is the voice of reason, he always knows what to say, he's caring and he'll devote time into helping people, even Jinx, who at that point in time was not a friend of his. I'd love to see Cy having some heart-to-hearts with The Family in particularly difficult situations, setting them on the right path. I know that this might not fit into how you've planned to deal with certain situations in the future, so I completely understand if you can't do this sort of thing, but I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway!
(I'd like to add another segment to my highlights, criticisms and suggestions part of the review, and it's all about quotes. My favourite quotes of the chapter!)
Quotes: 1) "I need my pain." 2) "The future's not written, you have the ability to keep changing it until the day someone throws dirt on your casket." 3) "I only wanted to hear the sound of your voice." 4) "I'd be so lucky..." (I think I'll do this for every review, because I've noticed in this chapter that you are a master at dialogue and some of your lines really stand out, so I'd love to share some of my favourites with each chapter.)
I did a sort of all-round review here, although due to losing the last part of the review, I can't remember what I wrote in vivid detail. So I'll just speak from the mind. Basically, what I wanted to say about this chapter as a whole, is that it really was the best chapter so far. The length was crazy, I mean you must have had a hard time staying sane whilst writing it all! Bravo for the super long chapter! It took all of the questions I had from chapter two, answered them, and left me needing to know more. It really is a great finale for The Human Stain. There was plenty of tragedy with both Terra and Robin, there was light moments between Cy, Jinx, Starfire, there was shocks with Slade's appearance and most importantly (I'm still not over this next part, you need to tell me more!) about how Terra is responsible for her parent's death! How on earth did you come up with that? Did it just hit you? Because I think that it's a fantastic twist, and it made me really understand why Original Terra really didn't want to burden New Terra with their memories. I felt for Original Terra (the voice) because at first, I thought she was just being stubborn and dramatic, but the fact that Terra had a memory so absolutely destructive, it makes me realise why Original Terra was so opposed to becoming whole with the Terra she created.
Yesterday, I responded to an email that was sent over a week ago, and I said that I would get started on this chapter and hopefully send a review your way in a couple of days, and that was in my plan, but once I started reading, nothing could stop me. I didn't take a single break from reading. I lost sleep, but it was all one hundred percent worth it. And I apologize for the length of the review. I said that I wouldn't hold anything back, but I underestimated how much there was to hold back, so hopefully you don't lose sleep over reading the review, haha!
I'm extremely disappointed that cut off so much of my review, but it's understandible because of how long the review was, so I hope that this recreation, although not spot on to my original ending of the review, will do you well anyway. I will be starting with chapter four today, after doing a little writing myself, and I can't wait to see what happens next! I hope you enjoy hearing my thoughts of the chapter, and that you're having a brilliant day.
As always, much love, and stay awesome,
| Impure Paradise chapter 3 . 7/19/2014
Oh my days, can you believe that my review was so long that it cut a quarter of it off? Seriously, no warning. I had written so much after and it's all gone *bangs head on wall*. I can try to recrate everything I wrote after it cut off but I don't think that it will quite work.
I'm seriously so annoyed right now. You have no idea. I'll still try to recrate the rest of the review, although it won't be exactly the same .