|Reviews for Haunting|
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 2 . 8/12/2012
Your portrayal of Karen's multiple personality disorder feels disturbingly accurate. Poor kid. I'm glad Will managed to help her recover.
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 5 . 8/12/2012
Wow, that was a heavy story. They sure did have messed up childhoods. The exploration of ghost-, psychic-, and dark-type powers were also quite interesting.
(Also, Mr. Fuji dies? Does that happen in the manga or is this straight-up AU?)
I like that you focus on exploring the politics and logistics of the world - it's something that isn't really explained or touched upon much at all in the series, yet Pokemon's world lends such an interesting backdrop, especially if you have humans with supernatural powers as well.
| Meneldur chapter 5 . 9/14/2011
So, conclusion, and beautiful it is. I still expect a reply to my reply, and I'm sure you'll happily answer my other reviews, and now, you know you have not missed any of them.
It was interesting to see how Karin is still unsure of herself (though that may be expected, if that was their first night as official girlfriends), and of course, Clair's gesture was not just beautiful and romantic, but also eminently sensible. And since Agatha did not show up, it seems to have worked, for now.
Sabrina does have such fascinating discussions. And she knows from her own family how closely the three spirit related powers are connected. Though there are other proofs, of course - the pairs Cresselia/Darkrai and Espeon/Umbreon come to mind. It also begs the question of whether powers exist that are not spirit powers.
Sabrina did not heal herself? Is that because she does not have the ability, the injuries are too severe, or that 'death' has already set in, and she would need a Child of Absol to clear it out before she could use psychic power to heal her back?
I really loved what Giovanni did for Sabrina. It was amazing. Just as romantic, in its own way, as what Clair did to Karin. Even if neither Giovanni nor Sabrina acknowledge it, it's good she has someone who cares for her like that, and it's good he has someone to care about.
"it took Will a minute to realize that Will must have voiced his thoughts, or something like them. Or Morty's were simply running along a parallel track, which wasn't in itself unusual." - This sentence is obviously wrong, but I can't figure out how it should go.
And of course, we ended with the most sappy of all pairs, Will and Morty, admitting it was worth it, all of it, for love. And in a way, this concludes our arc. All the suffering the Graveskeeper children suffered is worth it in the end, because they have love (or something like it). It's a bit cliche, but since this is the Graveskeeper Clan, I trust this is not the end. After all, Sabrina has not acknowledged what she has (nor will she any time soon), and it may yet lead her into conflict with her siblings. We shall have to wait and see. I certainly can't wait. Until then, Meneldur.
| Meneldur chapter 4 . 9/13/2011
We have advanced and prevailed in your name, milady.
"writing these two at this age is so much more fun than writing them just two years later." - Do you mean 2 years after the present day, or 14 years ago, where Morty would be on a needle and bottle tour?
I quite enjoy Morty's attitude. And obviously, he is not as skilled or experienced as he thinks he is if he doesn't know what one (or rather two, or more) can do on a roof.
I really love the dynamic and relationship between Morty and Will. Morty being over the top and allowing emotions, with Will being the controlled, steadying influence.
So, they too worry about Sabrina, yet are aware of her power and know when she is dead or not, and also know that it would not be wise to interrupt her without notifying her of it. I wonder if Will was using his foresight when he said "I am not sure you'd like what you found".
"I was offended at the suggestion" - this made me crack up. It was another beautiful example of the differences between them and how they fit together.
"This is our turf and she doesn't belong here." - Interesting. Sabrina still saw Graveskeeper Tower as her turf 15 years ago. I daresay she might still see it as so - certainly nothing worse has happened. I doubt Sabrina has her own 'turf'. But Morty sees the Violet Plateau as his turf, when he doesn't live there, and his gym is in Ecruteak. That's quite a statement.
Also, I forgot this in Karn's chapter, but how did Morty get to founding a Gym in Ecruteak? was there a gym already there? If so, how did he get it? If not, what possessed (heh) him to found one in a place that was Dragon Lands? Why did the Dragon Clan allow it?
So, Will's silence is not just due to the Incident, but also to a curse. How strong are Agatha's curses, and what will happen to them beyond the grave?
Since when does Water block ghost/psychic powers? Or do you mean it blocks energy? If so, how?
Well, I can understand Agatha's madness a bit better, growing up with such a situation. It's no excuse, but mothers have a hard enough time with children without them being their opposite, in danger of death in the house, and with powers they can use to prevent discipline.
So Morty was really powerful, with all kinds of amazing powers. But was he truly "the most powerful human psychic". If so, it would explain his jealousy of Sabrina better, as she took his place. How powerful? Was he more powerful than Sabrina? Can any psi do it - pull heat/cold from something? Can Sabrina? I mean, Will can, and we know he's weaker. Also, what about healing? Can Sabrina do that as well?
Misty kissed Morty? Oh, now that is funny. Interesting to note they're already aware of their tendencies.
Wonder what they mean by "Mother's going to try to have it out with Sabrina so we can get out of the way before the ghosts go crazy." What would Agatha try, what was Sabrina's reply, and why did it make the ghosts go crazy? Because they thought they'd get to kill a psychic?
So, what did happen last time? How did the three of them get out? The more you write, the more I want to know.
So Will's power (and personality) are weaker, but have occasional flashes of strength which are very powerful and uncommon. Also, he knows himself perfectly. Seems like he has his own worthy was Will willing to commit some kind of suicide so he would not become a ghost? It was more than giving Morty his power - as Morty said "You- you weren't going to let the wraith turn you."
So, that was how they left, and what caused Sabrina to leave. I note that Morty was smart enough to abandon everything - all the power, prestige which would have made up for the loss of his power - rather than stay in Graveskeeper Tower, with Agatha and without Will.
I hope to review the next chapter soon, and conclude this then.
| Meneldur chapter 3 . 9/13/2011
And I'm back. How far I'll get, I don't know, but we shall see. As you haven't answered my response to your PM, I feel no need to hurry (not to mention the whole back to college thing).
So, if this is fifteen years ago, how old was Sabrina? That puts her at least in her early 30s now, doesn't it? It's quite impressive she should have such power while so young.
Does Sabrina have a team of her own, 15 years later?
I liked the description of Graveskeeper Tower, and how Sabrina moves in it. I especially like dhow even those mourners coming to Lavender to mourn for their Pokemon recognize her power, even at that age.
So "Gravekeeper Tower was her turf- no one could have mistaken her for anything but a daughter of the Clan" and yet her psychic powers keep her from actually inheriting it, so much that the Tower Ghosts guard against her and would attack if they dared. I wonder where that leads. It's interesting that despite the fact she's left, she still thinks of herself as such. I doubt Karin does. I wonder what that says about the siblings attitude towards Graveskeeper. Do some still claim alignment and help the clan, or have they been completely alienated by Agatha's actions?
"held in check by very thin barriers made of anger and not much else" - So Sabrina is already losing control? Or is it a reference to her childhood? This puts things in perspective, though. Karin, for all her troubles, was met by indifference and anger when seen, but had an alternate personality to hide behind. Sabrina, Morty and Will may have suffered from constant threats and attacks by the ghosts. One understand much better why they are as they are now. Even were it not for Agatha, such an upbringing would force control and power on a child quickly, if only to survive.
So floors one to six hold spirits, ghosts and graves, and 8 to 13 hold domestic rooms. What does the 7th hold, I wonder?
It also appears Sabrina had a somewhat easier living (at least from the threat from Agatha) due to her sheer power. I do wonder how young she was when she destroyed the fifth floor, and what would have been the reactions of other people - her siblings, other Graveskeepers, Agatha.
So, Graveskeeper has a role in quieting spirits - though interestingly, it is children of Absol who actually pass them on and thus get rid of them. What does Dragon Clan do? And what do psychics do? Help human beings who are confused and have mental problems?
So, by attacking Fuji, was Sabrina laying that part of Will that had died to rest? Obviously there was also the business aspect and revenge, but was she actually doing something good as well? I wonder at what Sabrina mentioned of Agatha being marked as well. Does it mean ghosts will someday try to kill Agatha? Or that Sabrina will try and do so?
I was interested to learn that Sabrina has learned something from her mother - a voice which beckons to spirits, tells them they are about to be joined.
Very classic, the way Sabrina killed Fuji. I was quite impressed. And the burning R was quite... impressive. The title, of course, becomes a beautiful reference with multiple meanings. And Sabrina showed emotion. I was very impressed with it, and much like Fuse, it shows the depth of Sabrina's feelings towards her siblings.
Huh, Sabrina's a lefty. Interesting. And that hand is the one that uses her power. Why was it numb? From using her powers to such an extent, or simply clenched in anger?
So, this was a test. Could Sabrina rob her home. Of course, if Giovanni knew Sabrina better, he would not have felt the need for it. But Sabrina also proved herself in a dangerous situation, and as he said, came back with something very useful. I liked his "There's an element of style to that."
I loved Sabrina's rational explanation on how, in a sense, she did not do anything to Fuji but let the spirits at him. And since he deserved it, as they wanted to, well, it's not really her fault. Again, it's very impressive not only for the logic and un-traceability of it, but also for the single-mindedness and will that lay behind those acts, willing to countenance the death of a man for what he did.
So, Sabrina feels no guilt, only a faint anger. And we see her once again raise her walls, and become calm and controlled. Seeing her out of control actually lends credence to her claim that she needs to be inc control so as not to endanger people. With her intelligence and power, people could easily annoy and then anger her, and if she did not control herself to not feel it, there may be fatal consequences. I assume she looked for an instructor in Saffron in order to have someone to spar against?
I liked the ending mantra. So Sabrina, especially the comparison to the blizzard.
Until I review again or receive a reply, Meneldur.
| yairm210 chapter 5 . 9/4/2011
I must say that the fourth chapter of this story was amazing. Beyond amazing; it's one of the most emotionally intense pieces I have ever had the good fortune to read.
As usual, your writing is flawless. The characters, as much as they differ from the 'typical' depiction, are never really out of character, since the fact that we know so little of them allows them to mold well into many different shapes. I'm not really a fan of emotion centered writing, but this piece is one of the the few that I can honestly say conveyed the emphasis it should without 'pushing'.
I look forward to your future works!
| Meneldur chapter 2 . 9/3/2011
This was awesome. I couldn't wait for the story of Karin, and this burst through my expectations and went on to leave me stunned in the dust.
So, Karin is a child of Absol. That explains... a lot. And it has some help from the manga. The idea of her being born under a scythe moon, and all the other things... well, you said it all. I'm reminded of Genghis Khan being born with a blood clot in his hand, and other phenomena, but as I wrote, you said it all, I think.
Karin's explanation might also explain a large part of Agatha's madness. Anyone consorting with ghosts can't be too sane, but bringing out three children who are in a sense your opposing energy, and a child of Absol? That can't be easy on anyone. And then fighting those children in a sense, and being defeated by them, losing your ancestral hopes? She's a ghost. The weight of her ancestors... well, let's just say that ghosts may weigh very heavily on someone, for all that they're ethereal. I do wonder if when she dies, Morty will try and claim the tower, or will he refuse out of spite, or maybe even a good reason. Karin's right. Having psis and a child of Absol was a sign. Perhaps it was time for a new family to claim the Tower, one which did not have so much weight on it.
Karin's information on Ghost/Psychic energy and the role of Dark-types was intriguing. I wondered what your take on it was, and I'm quite happy to learn it's similar to my thoughts on it. I especially liked the idea of children of Absol being healers, but at the same time containing some darkness which may be exhibited by 'other people'.
The information about Karin's upbringing was stunning. But it worked for her. And it must have forged close ties with Sabrina, for all the limited contact, and that would be valuable. You'd think Psis would have a problem with Dark-types, since they're immune to them. But I think it would be the other way around - Psis would have someone they could interact with like normal human beings, since they're immune to them. Dark-types would have no fear of Psis, which may be why Sabrina's relationship with Karin would be one of the few true ones she has outside of work relationships and relationships with other psychics.
In the beginning I was sure the 'other person' Karin was talking about was Sabrina. Then I realized it was schizophrenia, which made a lot more sense. It was scary, but Karin's a child of Absol. It was survival technique, it worked, and Karin, like a true fighter and healer, overcame it.
The rest of Karin's history was a s above - amazing and scary, powerful and dark. And it explained a lot about how she became who she is, and why she is such a party girl. I liked learning of her Pokemon, and especially of her relationship with Claire and how it developed and develops. I do wonder what drew her to Clair, and what are Clair and Lance's stories, especially as regarding the Graveskeeper Clan (not to mention the Graveskeeper Clan versus the Dragon Clan, and why it seems Kanto is Graveskeeper lands, and Johto is Dragon lands, what this means for both lands and people in them).
The end was very sweet and good, finally giving Karin what she deserved. As I said, it also made me want to learn more of them together and alone, and I hope we'll see it soon, as you wrote. I think this is my last review for this weekend - I doubt I have time for next chapter. But we shall see. In any case, I can't wait for more.
| Meneldur chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
Right, I'm not done with army training, but I came back a bit earlier for the weekend this time, and had more time to read and review, so here I am. Anyway, I'll try to review every chapter of this story individually, but I'm not sure I'll manage it all before my time is up. In which case, I will continue next weekend, by which time I will have finished my training. As for replying, I leave that at your discretion- to reply now if I do not finish, or wait until I review all chapters.
As for Patchouli, I read it, and I quite enjoyed the editing. I could not believe it could be made better, but it was. Not the substance, but the manner in which it was presented. It was suddenly much more coherent and clear, especially on background of recent revelations and story canon.
As for this chapter:
I quite enjoyed it. As you write, it is more of a prelude, but already it reveals to us some things. It was relatively light, yet we still saw the depths of antagonism the Graveskeeper children bear towards their matron. Also, Tegan and Sarah are awesome. Though I like Superstar best of all their work, and it also fits certain parts of the Graveskeeper Clan.
I found it interesting that Morty raised an objection to Karin's plan, and that Sabrina also later objected to it when it was forced upon her. Perhaps they are more similar than they know? Still, lightness was kept by his joking with Karin.
Mention of Clair's position as Elite reserve makes me raise this question again, because I can't recall an answer. I know Sabrina and Will are evenly matched in skill - both Pokemon and psychic, because you told me so ("Sabrina and Will would be more or less evenly matched in an actual battle, whether mind to mind as they prefer or with Pokemon but in a friendly sparring or training match, Sabrina outclasses Will"). This means Sabrina could be an Elite if she wished to (it's true that Will is only First Elite, but both he and Sabrina have a huge type advantage over Koga and Bruno. And from Sabrina's training session with Koga, I believe her superiority is hinted). At the same time, we know that "she'd never have tried for the Elite Four". Even ignoring the considerations of the Elite, Sabrina's power level should put her as strongest Gym Leader in Kanto and Johto (since the regions share an Elite Four). Is this so? Because even if Sabrina doesn't want to be an Elite or even an Elite Reserve, I'd think she'd defend her position as most powerful Gym Leader. Maybe I'm interpreting her personality wrong, but I think she would do that.
Unless, of course, there is no kind of Gym Ranking, and other Gym Leaders may also be stronger than Elite but simply do not wish to become Elite members or even reserves, like Sabrina. It is only that in the games, Clair is the strongest Gym Leader. And you placing her as Elite reserve seems to perpetuate this belief. I would like to know the power rating of the characters - both Elite and Kanto/Johto Gym Leaders who appear - Giovanni, Surge, Blaine, Erika, Morty, etc.
Wow, Lance was really pigheaded in this chapter. I understand his worries and problems, but come on. When 3 of Agatha's children are against her coming, and past experience proves them to be right, maybe it's time to try a new path, however risky? Not to mention that no Clan War would last long - all of Agatha's children would discontinue it simply because she started it. Besides, when last we saw, nothing untoward seems to have happened since that party, right?
"There is not a soul in the Clan who could stand up to her that is not in this room" - What of Sabrina? Unless by 'Pun intended' he meant to imply Sabrina was somehow there by astral/psychic presence or he was broadcasting her the happenings?
Karin's final reaction was so... Karin. And very funny. I loved how they're all taking it seriously. Not only does it make it more amusing, it also underlines the amount of animosity Agatha's children bear her, and her own madness.