|Reviews for Lone Wolf|
| Nice job chapter 2 . 7/6/2013
You are doing a great job on this. ) I like your use of Alpha lines, very original. Also the fact of alphas being bigger, although in real wolves it's the beta that's the biggest so they can help the alpha keep everyone in line.
Try not to use the same words over and over again. it screws up the flow. Try to find synonyms or more discriptive words. (Sorry I can't spell). Also maybe focus on developing the charactor's personalities more than the story at this point in time. Right now we don't know much about them or how they think. I also think that James should show a little more emotion/guilt about leaving his family?
Good job making your sentences different lengths. You have good use of your commas, although those get screwed up from time to time as well. (When do they not? ;) ) Overall, good flow and story line.
| MesserProngs chapter 2 . 10/18/2012
mah, omg, that was good i've never read anything like that
| mjkcsk chapter 2 . 7/23/2012
You are an awesome writer keep it up.
| werewolf235 chapter 2 . 8/31/2011
I like this a lot! really gd!