|Reviews for Apostle's Message Redux|
| Difdi chapter 6 . 5/20
I liked the look of the story when I saw it, loved the premise. But I only got as far as chapter six before I lost interest in continuing.
Why? Because I dislike bash fics. If you have to dumb down one side or the other of a crossover to make it work, you should probably not be writing a crossover.
While it's true that Goa'uld warship technology rightly should shred Mass Effect warships, and Mass Effect starship weapons will be utterly unimpressive to Goa'uld, the opposite is true on the ground.
Mass Effect small arms are so ridiculously overpowered when compared to what Jaffa have that it's utterly hilarious. Stargate personnel have killed armored Jaffa using 9mm MP-5s before. It took pretty much the entire magazine, but it could be done. The more powerful P-90s they switched to later on cut through Jaffa armor like butter. But compared to the wimpiest Mass Effect holdout pistol, those P-90s might as well be airsoft guns.
Mass Effect weapons fire bullets at fractions of the speed of light and are designed to penetrate Mass Effect body armor. The most powerful bullet on Stargate-Earth won't even scratch the paint on Mass Effect body armor, yet Mass Effect guns can shoot through that armor, given time.
Mass Effect weaponry will go through a Jaffa like he's not even there, and possibly kill the Jaffa behind him, right through both suits of armor. - and possibly kill a few more the same way, if they're lined up right. Goa'uld personal shields will likely stop Mass Effect bullets, but Goa'uld don't hand those out to Jaffa.
It was a good try up to the end of chapter six, but you lost me there. If you have to render one side of a crossover down into crap to write the crossover, you shouldn't be writing one.
| RandomExplorer chapter 1 . 5/10
Ok, this story is very good!, even if the idea to split the galaxy and send a part of it to a "parallel dimension" was quite crazy, and perhaps too much magic. You would deserve more reviews.
So... surely Apostle will want to build new Reapers and possibly try to get a cycle going. The usual Chtulu-parasites, well that's a better motivation than "organics vs synthetics" nonsense.
How can the Coalition ever win? Please, just do Not build a new Crucible!
I wonder if there is a way to revert what Apostle did that is not too much"space magic"... (the Asgard?) Another question to the Author: Is the new state of the galaxy permanent?
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/3
Make Shepard female and make it a
| JonHarper chapter 32 . 4/22
Very good update. I'm really liking that things are progressing and that the allies are in for a long hard slog of a war. But I don't like the idea of the SGC becoming relegated to a second foot. But then again when one considers the sheer scale of the Alliance and the size of their fleets and armies, and then compare that to the Citadel which are even larger...its hard not to see where this line of thinking comes from. Stargate command is going to need to up its game to be taken seriously this time.
Also, is it me or has Ashley really been overcompensating for something?
| Illuviar chapter 32 . 4/20
Awesome story! It's good to see another update! :D
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 32 . 4/19
| Sora with an S chapter 32 . 4/19
Epic as always. Congrats on the atmosphere of the story - just like ME3 all the way.
| kalani.gapido chapter 32 . 4/19
I used to work at red lobster as a kid so I would like to assume RL means you work at Red Lobster for some reason lol BUT finally a chapter update and a good one. Glad the show goes on!
| trninjakiller chapter 1 . 3/29
What the hell. Seriously? What the hell is the fucking point of sending the Normandy here when it is not upgraded and doesn't have all of the teammates? This is stupid. Pick a better time period next time. I came here to see a fully upgraded normandy and crew interact with stargate. Not some half assed ship and crew. I am very dissapointed. I bet it doesn't even have silaris armor, thanix cannons, or cyclonic barriers which is even worse. Cyclonic barriers I know because tali gives them to you.
| Thux chapter 13 . 2/1
What does "fist pump" mean to you? Because I'm pretty sure you have the definition wrong, and it looks really, really off when characters are said to do it.
| FrozenSpectre chapter 30 . 10/26/2014
O'neill's and Weir's "logistics and costs" conversation was really informative. Actually, this and many other parts like this deals with part of war effort, that isn't usually mentioned in stories, especially not to this degree as it's in here. But it actually makes this story a lot more realistic and really makes readers to think about this war effort as entirety, not just action and battle scene.
You had done it in clever way as there are short scenes here and there dealing with this subject, not whole chapters dealing with it. That could get boring for some people.
Also, from O'neill's and Weir's conversation, I think that they could do more than selling space rocks. I mean, it might be time to look at some civilian implementations of both SGC and ME technologies. Yes, this process might be slow and take time, but there are some things that could be done in a shorter notice. For example, tablet computers, smartphones and other touch screen based technologies.
Thanks to omni-tool and other hologram based technology, you have a really good chance here to advance the earth technology without doing it with too huge leaps. Also, technoogy like this in civilian use, would also greatly increase productivity and give SGC the money it needs. Anyway, just something to thought about.
Scene in O'neill's office and Ashley's comment about Alliance being their biggest supporter, Salarian not being the real heavy hitters and the way hoe Ashley said it, really reminds me of how much of hypocrite Ashley is or at least acts. She passionately hates Cerberus, but her action and quite open mistrust and dislike towards aliens is something that's quite common for Cerberus people. And it seems that O'neill and Weir have noticed it too. I wonder who will call her out on this behavior?
Also later scene on gate room before mission shows again, how biased Ashley's ideas and opinions are. She really needs to have introspection at some point. Well be interesting to see when and if you plan to do something with this, admittedly small plot point.
Goa'ulds have stolen a lot of material, but like Sam said, then haven't seen them using it all that much. I wonder if they are building those super Motherships like Apophis and/or Anubis had. Will be interesting to see.
As for battle scene, that was most most intense so far and really well written. You could nearly feel how tough place it was for Shepard's team and Salarian. But then it ended with serious overkill by Guardian tower. There is probably going to be a lot more action in the next chapter.
And hover tank? I guess it's one of those Hammerheads. Though I really hope that you had done something to that "paper tanks" shields.
Anyway, as a whole, this had been marvelous story so far. It's incredibly well written and there is this "it's realistic" feel in it, which is in my opinion really important for the story. You have also done good job with balancing different power levels between these two very different universes. I also like the way of how you have written all the characters and how you have developed them so far.
Yes, some characters had had a lot more "screen time" like Shepard, Miranda, John Sheppard (he being his own little subplot in the story) and Samantha. Rest of characters had changed too along the story, but it's most obvious with those 4 above. Then again, all other characters had also went through some development stages or are going through some (Jack the biotic particularly), so there will be a lot more of this in the future.
So, I really hope that this story would be updated a lot more regularly as I definitely want to read more. Sadly, I can understand that RL can be difficult at times, but hopefully there would be more in the future.
| FrozenSpectre chapter 29 . 10/26/2014
Well, two things from first part.
First. Tali had surprisingly tame reaction to having AI on board. Actually, I have yet to seen a story, where Tali would have a lot stronger reaction. Then again, I guess it's understandable. Tali seems to trust Shepard and she must also know that Shepard had no love for AI (which he had demonstrate in earlier chapters).
Second. Tali seems to be a lot more mature in this story, which shows with her increased self confidence and more mission oriented out look. This really make me wonder, what she went through during the years Shepard was dead and especially, what she had done ever since this universe shift. Hopefully there will be more information later on.
I really like your take on Salarians in this story. They are straight to the point, but clearly thinks both scientifically and tactically. Making a first strike and capturing a enemy fuel depot clearly shows this. I also like that Salarians were ready to join coalition right away, as they seemed to understand how important and necessary it was.
And even then, they just didn't want to join, but do it in a way that could get other Citadel races to join more easily. True sigh of tactical thinking. And if you continue like this, then I'm going to like your Salarians a lot more than I liked them in ME3. It's was more of politics with them in ME3, not really scientific and tactical portrayal that it should have been.
Interesting choice making Samantha being the one, who decided to start question Salarians quite quick approval. I didn't expect that she would do it.
Also, I really liked the fact that Salarians wanted to join without giving Shepard some task before doing it. Sure, there was a task, where Normandy it's crew expertise was needed, but it's something that will benefit the whole coalition, not just Salarians (like it was with Turians and Taetrus). Quite nice surprise.
And trying to capture the Mothership? Bold plan. But I wonder if third time will be the charm here. They also certainly have better change in success if they indeed attack from both inside and out at the same time.
But another good chapter, though first time there were some more obvious typos and missing letter here and there. Nothing major though.
| FrozenSpectre chapter 28 . 10/26/2014
Hmm, really interesting conversation between Loki and Mordin. It's somewhat weird and funny to read Loki acting as some sort of condescending overlord, who is forced to work with someone inferior. But what makes it funny, is that it's actually true as Asgard are way too advanced compared to any other in Coalition. Also, because it's Loki, it makes it even worse as he is a lot more arrogant than say... Thor. Still, you have got Loki's characterization right so far.
And Loki designing new implants? Hopefully there will be no malicious intent behind them. Then again, based on TIM's plans in previous chapters, I guess that at some point Cerberus will get their hand on those new Asgard implant and somehow corrupt them to fit on their own means, like control method to their new soldiers.
Next part, where Loki... well admonish McKay and put him in his place so to speak, just shows more of Loki's personality. Even if he is right to do that. McKay, while he certainly is smart, he way too self-opinionated. But this just makes it a lot more interesting to see, if McKay will realize this and change. Though, it's also going to take a really long time, if the conversation between him and Daniel later on is any indication.
Last part with Jacob was quite surprising actually. I can easily understand that he felt like wasn't needed anymore, neither on SGC or Normandy. But it's also surprising that he turned to TIM to get a chance to do something again. He turned to Cerberus, which he seemed to have had some second thoughts in earlier chapters. Surprising.
Still, good chapter.
| FrozenSpectre chapter 27 . 10/26/2014
TIM drinking tea? Hah. Really didn't expect that.
Anyway, it seems that TIM is still his old manipulative self, planning on conquering and human dominant galaxy. And now you have them capturing Jaffa non-combatant and probably turning them in Cerberus fighting force through Phantom project and whatever else they did to get those assault Troopers, Guardians and Centurions from ME3.
You know, while I don't care Cerberus, but you really had me going there for a minute. I actually thought that Cerberus might end up being more of "good guys" in this story. But it doesn't seems so, which means that Cerberus will most likely become a enemy at one point. Oh well, I guess I'll see how it goes.
| FrozenSpectre chapter 26 . 10/26/2014
Good chapter. I can easily see that you used some part of Tali's LM from ME2 as basis for Quarian meeting, but it was obviously a lot different too. It was also good that Quarians didn't accept the joining in the coalition suggestion right away. It would have been OOC behavior for them.
It was also nice choice to use Sam's POV to describe the visual of Quarianship from inside as it felt sort of double new as Sam is still new to the ME universe.
And Tali, it's about time that she joined in the story. It also seems that Tali and Sam had a lot in common as it's not just their technological understanding (really nice moment of Tali and Sam talking "technobabble", hopefully there will be more later, when it's appropriate) and their experiences with "my father is high ranking officer and I had to work doubly to prove myself" situation. I would say that Sam and Tali could easily become good friends like Tali and Kasumi being friends in so many other ME stories.
Also adding Kal'Reegar in the story was interesting twist and something that isn't seen too much in most of ME stories.