|Reviews for Nice Distractions|
| Shiary chapter 2 . 1/17/2012
one thing i can say is you have a lot of mistakes
| Aural Rayne chapter 8 . 12/16/2011
Fastion is the perfect partner for Karigan. Why should the king have her when Fastion is around
| Shiary chapter 8 . 12/10/2011
| Guest chapter 7 . 12/9/2011
That what good!
Watch your grammar, though. And also, Karigan seems almost like a petulant child at times, so watch for that.
| Shiary chapter 7 . 12/9/2011
nice but short cant wait for the next chapter!
| Shiary chapter 6 . 12/7/2011
OMG! I love the idea and the pairing but the chapter are very short and they have quite a few mistakes otherwise please keep it up!
| Kneena chapter 6 . 9/11/2011
it sounds good. i think you migjt need to make your chapters longer. glad you are doing this story. not many do fastion and karigan.
| thylacine67 chapter 6 . 9/9/2011
There are still a few grammer issues that you should work on. But otherwise, I'm still enjoying reading Nice Distractions. Like Dancing Weapons, I love the KxF pairing. You're still going a good job and I can't wait to read more.
| Aeva - Athena - Marsden chapter 6 . 9/2/2011
I LOVE THIS STORY
i think its great.
props to my favorite two characters!
write another, write another!
| Mary chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
i am not always playing the ROLE [not roll] of weapon...3rd paragraph down..but i like it :D
| Mayday93 chapter 5 . 8/28/2011
this story is really engaging Karigan and Fastion is my favourite paring
| Painfully honest chapter 5 . 8/27/2011
To be perfectly honest, I'm not too thrilled with your fic. Every chapter has something or another borrowed from Dancing Weapons, which is called stealing. Even on that's looked down upon, especialy when you take such a good idea and turn it into something that's... not good.
I'm not saying you're a bad writer, I'm just saying that you need to get your own ideas and PRACTICE writing. Learn it. Things like grammar and spelling are important, don't overlook them. And if you're going to write a fic, keep the characters IN CHARACTER. Karigan is acting like a spoiled brat and fastion is acting like... well, not Fastion. I'm sorry if this came off as mean, but you need to know.
| thylacine67 chapter 4 . 8/22/2011
Well, there are a few more things that can be changed on this chapter. First, each quote should have it's own . . . paragraph, if that makes any sense. Each time that someone's spoke, you should make it a new paragraph.
And you should add more spacing or lines in between the different characters. It makes it a lot more easier to read and much more enjoyable.
And then I think that you could add a little more detail into the pasture. Were there horses in there, was it a place to practice sparing. And lastly, you could possibly add some thoughts and emotions with Alton and Zachary. For example, you could add the confrontation between Alton and Garth.
Just some pointers to help you out. Please know that this is your story and you decide how you want it to go. Nice job so far.
| thylacine67 chapter 3 . 8/20/2011
I like this fanfic, I the KxF pairing. Although, there are a few things that you should fix sometime. Try to make the chapters flow better, for example, in the first chapter, you had Karigan at the ball, and then immediatley in the following paragraph, she was in her room. Maybe in between those paragraphs, you could have Karigan thinking about the proposal already, maybe have her sit in a balcany. And then have her go back to her room.
In the second chapter, you should look at doing the same thing. One moment she was practicing with Drent, and then she was sitting at breakfast. There are many things that can happen on the way to breakfast, ex. she runs into the King. And you could probably add a little more into the actual practice, that would make it much more entertaining to the readers. And then you could try to add a little more conversation between Karigan and Alton.
In the third chapter, you should probably add a line in between the different character's POV. And then you could probably add the accual "Yes" to the courting. Again, that would be more entertaining to the readers.
Again, I like the plot of the story and I hope that I've helped you,(even though it's so long of a review.) Good luck and keep on writing.
| sparrow5 chapter 2 . 8/19/2011
hi hih hi