|Reviews for Butterfly|
| tmnt 204 chapter 5 . 11/10
NO! WHY DID YOU STOP? KEEP GOING! I LOVE GAKULUKA
| fangirlnessness chapter 5 . 6/14
Are you trying to kill your readers with these cliffhanger! PLEASE UPDATE!:'(
| purichiya chapter 5 . 8/25/2013
j'aime beaucoup ton histoire !
continu ton histoire
| Guest chapter 5 . 3/20/2013
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/12/2012
| Veline Shee chapter 5 . 8/17/2012
Continue! Update soon!
| MayucchiSwordDancer chapter 5 . 8/13/2012
| MayucchiSwordDancer chapter 4 . 8/13/2012
| Uchiha Bara chapter 5 . 8/11/2012
No! Dont end it there! You're so mean! Update again soon! I wanna know what happens next!
| River Eynaea chapter 4 . 4/9/2012
More, please? I really like the way you've set everything up and I'd like to see where it goes.
A girl desperate for more GakuLuka fics.
| Uchiha Bara chapter 4 . 12/25/2011
| Secluded yet social chapter 3 . 12/23/2011
Gaah! I really wish you would continue! It's really good!
| Sakagami Hina chapter 1 . 8/24/2011
(Sorry this is kindof a big rant, I hope I can help a bit ")
I'm really glad to see more GakuLuka stories, and this is a really interesting idea, but... you really like big paragraphs, don't you? w Do try to separate them more, it makes them much more pleasant to read, not to mention you're supposed to make a new paragraph for each new speaker during dialogue.
Another problem is that a lot of the facts are stated bluntly, like "during times like this I wish I was a boy, or I at least cross-dressed." Seriously, it makes it much more interesting to let the reader come to this conclusion with indirect language or clues, but it really takes instinct to know how to do that, or at least reading a lot and appreciating the styles of writing.
There's also a number of grammatical issues, first of all being that you skip around with past/present tense. Just taking that line I quoted before, I would change it to say, "during times like those, I wished I were a boy, or I at least cross-dressed." Notice how I make it all past-tense, and I also changed "was" to "were" because it's subjunctive (yes, I actually pay attention in English class xD)
Hmm, well, sorry for writing so much, I really do hope I can help you improve your writing a bit, because the world always needs more GakuLuka
| missrinkagamine chapter 3 . 8/23/2011
:DDDD yaaayyyyy! x) all lovey-dovey and stuff~ pffttt luka did better at combat that gakupo did and she hadnt trained at all xD
| Uchiha Bara chapter 3 . 8/22/2011
i should be doing my homework but im reading this instead. i have a marching band concert or something this friday :(
awesome chapter :)