Reviews for Against the Moon
CBK chapter 89 . 9/23
"You are going to be my example, Remus"... You write such lovely, touching things. More on that topic: lost babies are very, very hard to write about sensitively and meaningfully, and yet you do it with dignity and finesse. Thank you.
Poor Sirius, sympathising vaguely with Meyrigg... the Irony Monkey is cruel sometimes.
CBK chapter 88 . 9/23
How much will James' Quidditch technique feed through to his Order days, I do question... Also. I might be reading far too far into this. But: the Chaser who builds up points, Seeker who wins the game - is this a James and Harry comparison - the Quidditch field here the Wizarding War? Hmm - my overactive analyis...?
Adding to the narration point I made in a previous review: Remus's empathy, his constant questioning of the people around him, makes him easily perceive how people might be feeling/thinking/acting in their relationships to others. Of course, this isn't always the case (his father last summer) but is often (Lily and Severus), and at least the reader tends to know what's going on. I read on your profile that you love to add detail to works - I love that you've done that organically, with the right character, rather than forcing unnatural information into the story.
I suspect Meyrigg still isn't 100% sure about Remus's being a werewolf. But she suspects enough to be kind, which is very good of her. I'm intrigued by the political status of werewolves... as Sirius must be... I know they go down the Animagus route, but will this avenue be explored anymore? i'd like it to be!
CBK chapter 87 . 9/23
As Lily and Snape are such major characters in the Marauders' story yet, we don't see so much of their friendship, but I trust it'll prove more pivotal later - it's curious already though. The Marauders have such a dislike for Slytherins: is this feeling widespread amongst other Slytherins, or does it grow to be more so during the war? Presumably at least some of the prejudice against Slytherins was owed to LV and his Death Eaters? When, if, does Lily become aware of it?
How odd it must have been for McGonagall to teach Lupin later!
I wonder if the Marauders' unusual knowledge of the goings on of the school later contributes to their being in the Order? They know pretty much a lot about Meyrigg and Croydon - does Dumbledore satisfy this wish by inducting them, later? We don't see a lot of the Hogwarts to Order pipeline in the book: you've shown us a little of sixth and seventh years' involvement, but it's all guesswork at the moment - and of course they only know some of the threat LV will pose... Later: Remus being willing to do anything Dumbledore asked... now that'll be taken advantage of, won't it? Doesn't Remus mention having to negotiate with werewolves? Poor boy.
It progresses so naturally but when you point it out - EG Remus needing mischief - I notice how much he's changed from the very, very shy boy he was in the early chapters. Though he worries, I think he needs those troublemakers as his friends - how else is he going to have his spirits lifted?
Another thing I'd like to point it out is how fair you are on your narration! Maybe this is just because Remus is very observant. But he describes all the minutae of the wizarding world, his Muggle home, lessons and Quidditch... Which makes everything very enjoyable for me, the reader, whereas I was a little frustrated with Harry sometimes, who passed over lessons after the first few books.
(PS Meyrigg wearing green? Traitor!)
CBK chapter 86 . 9/23
Just realising, also, the implications of Pomfrey's involvement in the Order- her knowledge of Dumbledore's plans. She's such a great character in this.
Poor Remus, learning that the adults he looks up to are not, in fact, all-knowing. Meyrigg's clearly very vulnerable herself: he can't rely on her, or anyone, to see off the threats coming... As we know. Not untrustworthy - just not wholly dependable. Such are all adults in HP: I imagine the (surviving) Marauders hated becoming them.
Owyn's words are also interesting. Of course no one knows yet the horror Voldemort's going to wreak - when he says, he's got to be stopped, he doesn't realise what that'll take, thinks it's possible, guesses at the number of deaths. I knew this, but hadn't really considered it.
"A paper or a packet of fags or a bottle of wine.." which death eaters are we talking about here? Haha!
"I might have been rubbish on stage" - oh my! The depth every single character has! This story! - and the questions his commitment to the Order raises... dedication over family, personal connections... That question of boundaries I mentioned in a previous review. So, so interesting. I can't wait to see you explore it with more immediate characters.
CBK chapter 85 . 9/23
Also: the foursome's essay on privacy would be interesting to read. Could schoolwork count as a Missing Moment?
CBK chapter 85 . 9/23
I'd sort of guessed Sirius's plan just before it happened. It must have absolute & utter hell for him to be sat years later in Grimmauld Place, doing nothing, if this is how he reacts to every mystery...
And what a mystery it is! James must be right that Meyrigg and Owyn are working against Voldemort - he must have infiltrated the Death Eaters. Early Order members - and I suppose it's purposeful that we don't hear from them later. Oh dear. Hopefully a happy and restful retirement, but alas...
Also, I think you've got Dumbledore right (though your excellent characterisation no longer comes as a surprise). He's a really hard character to write, I find - striking a balance between that whimsicalness and firm leadership - but you get that other aspect Harry is often blind to, that we only fully learn about in Deathly Hallows - a kind of ruthlessness... dedication to the greater good, in his treatment of Owyn & Meyrigg and in his "By whom?". Great chapter - I liked it alot.
CBK chapter 84 . 9/23
I sense the Andrews might yet be problems again... I like your showing of intra-, as well as inter-, house rivalry. Makes the whole thing a lot more realistic.
Appreciate also how you take care to explain and develop things. In the books, Tonks's Metamorphogy(sp) is just a sort of cool thing. Here, you give us a glimpse of its rarity, how its seen abroad, a bit of Alphard's backstory, how even magical people view it... it's great. I love it. I've said a couple of times before I love your worldbuilding and I'll say it more than a couple of times again.
And! Gilbert and Sullivan! You just capture all sorts of Britishness in this story. It's great - and true to a 1970s boarding school!
CBK chapter 83 . 9/23
So Remus is clearly Madam's favourite patient (and not James!)
I keep on saying this but love the Remus & James friendship. He's very good to sit by James - I only wish he didn't see it as debt-paying - bless him, he always puts himself on the backfoot, instead of realising that he's actually just a very kind, polite boy.
The absolute seriousness with which the Quidditch Captain takes his players' health - is absolutely perfect. !
CBK chapter 82 . 9/22
Trying very hard not to dislike Peter just because I know what he'll do. He hasn't done it yet, I have to tell myself. Though sometimes I do sympathise with Sirius...
The DADA Professor plots are very like to the books, though yours are more grounded, less fantastic (and I like them more). Meyrigg is great - and she makes great points! She's very brave indeed, though perhaps a little foolhardy. It's funny for all his worry that Remus, for all his worrying, doesn't seem aware she's cottoning on to his furry problem. The two of them are both working to discover each others absences - interesting!
CBK chapter 81 . 9/22
I love dramatic irony too! This whole story is just full of it. It's very clever.
Beginnings of the Order - I'm intrigued by the "new Hufflepuff from Uganda", whether he turns out to be important or not, just because I imagine it's rare for Hogwarts to have transfers. I love your wizarding world - it's all so detailed and interesting, full of little jigsaw pieces that even the original books didn't always bother with... "midwitches", your attention to detail is just... mwah! Fanfic about the Order in the first war is pretty scarce, so i'm interested in it's appearing here and hope hope it'll one day be developed! Alice Bolton and Longfellow/trousers must be Neville's parents? I wonder if we'll get any Slytherins in the order. Ah! Love the wider world going on around our Marauders...
Dead babies being buried in secret... Poor, poor Mrs Lupin. Poor Remus to take it all to heart as his fault. Sometimes I wonder if his insecurity being so all-pervasive could be true, but of course it would be. He's known more hardship and hatred than any boy ought to have!
How nice to see Sirius excited about his family too - rather than the other way around... He was never quite the doting uncle (of sorts) to Tonks in the books, but we can see here he might have been if not for... oh, well, everything...
CBK chapter 80 . 9/22
What stood out to me in this chapter was the group's dynamics. It's such an interesting set-up we only see a glimpse of in Harry Potter. The bond between Sirius and James, the doubts of Peter... who feels he can confide in Remus, who seems to agree. I really liked how you portrayed Peter's worry for Remus in the last moments of this chapter: they all suffer to see Remus unwell, and are thus all moved to action. Vows of friendship - etc.
What I also like is your idea of 'birthday pranks'. This is a pretty good showing that the Marauders aren't all show offs/bullies/etc - they take what they dish out... They do it all for genuine enjoyment!
(And, again, really enjoying the girls featuring more. Excited to see more of their characters. I know there's a Missing Moment coming up with them... can't wait to read it... - would love to see all the options for them! If you do choose to come back to this story I for one will take great pleasure in voting, as I never do at council by elections!)
CBK chapter 79 . 9/21
Good bit of James in this! I like his character a lot and have said before (in my long, growing longer, string of reviews) that I always imagined him and Remus to be closer - as I hope they'll grow in this story! I think you do him very well. He's definitely a young British lad...!
And a good bit of coming-of-age-y stuff: James' worry that Sirius is interested in girls, Sirius's rebuttal of it. But I think you get the thirteen year old boy mindset just right (can it be too complicated?). And some more Betta! She's a great original character. I hope we get to see more of her in future, would be I can only imagine, entertaining.
CBK chapter 78 . 9/21
Oh dear. Dreadful foreshadowing for the Snape incident, I presume. The trouble is, as you put it, that there's no malice in his actions - towards Remus, anyhow. He's caring, but fiercely so. It's a shame that recklessness plagues him through all his life - a shame that poor Remus feels too unworthy to tell him when he's crossed a line!
CBK chapter 77 . 9/21
Careless Sirius - in a way - as he will be again.
CBK chapter 76 . 9/21
"curling like a seahorse" is beautiful language. I can't find myself too sorry for Narcissa - she might be a little less crude when she's slagging off 'Andromasaurus'...
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