|Reviews for Never Let You Go|
| misspandalily chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
This is so heart-wrenching.
Omg. I love it.
| Sun Daughter chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
I really like the premise of this story. It is light and original and has a promising start in terms of the plot. Romance was a little heavy at the end, but I am definitely looking forward to see where you take this, because it has a lot of potential. Nice job.
This piece could have used a tad more detail. What you have is fine, mediocre, but I feel you can push yourself as an author to expand even more. :) When doing this, try your best to really appeal to the five senses and make your audience feel like we're right there with the characters. Your imagery is okay right now, but I believe that you can make it even better. This would help keep the audience in suspense, really feel the drama of this piece, and would just all around make it more attractive. You're doing a nice job so far, and as you keep publishing chapters, I'm sure this will keep getting better. It's sort of something that comes with practice, so keep practicing!
There were a few little grammar things I'd like to touch on so you can be aware. These are incredibly minor errors and were not distracting to the piece as a whole, but I did feel I should let you know. First, remember to always spell out numbers. That's a very common mistake, but it should read, "Three Years Later..." Again, super minor, very easy to fix. There were three places where commas should be:
"So(,) how's Haru?"
Katara collapsed into his arms(,) letting the weight of her loneliness melt away in his embrace.
These are usually viewed as style errors, however, they are in the rules of grammar if you don't believe me, haha. Again, these did not detract from your story.
Structurally speaking, there were a few places where the wording was a little awkward or where the sentence structure was repeated several times, but that's okay too. This, as most things do, come with more practice. Again, I'm looking forward to more chapters with you. Dialogue was just a tad choppy in some places, but just keep crackin' at it. I know you got it in you. :)
So, overall, I liked it. You're doing fabulously so far, and I hope that this long review with critique hasn't scared you away or anything, because you truly do have a lot of potential. I'll be keeping an eye on this piece. Maybe after a couple more chapters, I'll add this to my community. Typically, I don't add multi-chapter stories to my community until five chapters in, but maybe you'll be an exception. ;) Keep up the good work, my friend!
Keep writing and have a nice day,
| Justice Tokidoki chapter 1 . 8/25/2011
Okay, it was a little rushed at some parts, but that's understandable... The characterization was great, the details were good and created a flow for the story. The diologue at the end was also great and sucked you into the story...
Very good chapter! I'm looking forward to seeing more...
| Avatar Aang1 chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Hello lorekr. Well i liked the first chapter, but i think you could put write a little more without displaying so much events, it gives a little more suspense xD. But very good keep it going its just a first chapter, if the story is good and you give everything im sure you will have plenty of reviews, so keep it up.
See ya, the next chapter :D