|Reviews for Our Body|
| Chaos Dragon chapter 1 . 9/10/2011
wow, i'm so glad you didn't let go of it. this was raelly great, loved the plot and the usage of characters. hope you do more dp xovers in the future!
| Shiro Inutoko chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
Oh wow. I loved this! It is so going on my favorites list! Any chance of a sequel?
| Soului chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
Very entertaining to read. The only thing I can think of to say is that when NCIS is first questioning Danny, I'm not sure that they would've just blindly accepted 'I just have this tendency of freezing'. I think there maybe could have been a bit more suspicion or doubt on the part of the NCIS team at that part.
Other than that, well written and I very much enjoyed it.
This is going on the favorites for sure.
| bug349 chapter 1 . 8/29/2011
cool i loved the story great work
| Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet chapter 1 . 8/29/2011
LOL Indeed it was quite enjoyable. :) Nice job on the characterization, details and general merging of the two worlds. Love both NCIS and DP, so I found it particularly entertaining. :)
| untamabledragon144 chapter 1 . 8/28/2011
Wait, what? Where was that info sent! Oh well, this was a very interesting story! It had me at the edge of the seat from start to finish. I usually don't read oneshots, but your story is one of the reasons I make exceptions. I really look forward to another one of your danny phantom stories, especially if I can expect the same quality as this!
| Kaddy 16 chapter 1 . 8/27/2011
| Daniella Violet Moon chapter 1 . 8/26/2011
That was epic! However, could it not have been broken into chapters? It was a very very long read, but worth the ENTIRE HOUR it took. It was a cool story, even if I have no idea who Kate is. I'm not really sure who the heck she is so I just replaced her with Zeeva in my mind. Aside from that, epic story, epic Danny, cool Tuck, no Sam (:[) but STILL EPICLY AWESOME.
| Zalein chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
It was a crossover of this kind that got me into the DP fandom in the first place, and years later now I'm overjoyed to have had fun with this one. Very well done! I loved the handling and the concept, and I have to say, you are my hero for bringing Tuck into this. I love Tucker, and the fact that he's the sidekick brought in just made my dark and creepy night.
Thank you for writing and posting this! There's no way you could be persuaded to write more things of this quality and type, is there?
| AlphaHowler chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
You, have tons of talent! I wish this was made into an actual episode because I would watch it over and over and over again! I can't BELIEVE you don't have as many reviews. LOVE IT! :D:D:D:D
| Anon87654 chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
Haha, that was awesome. the whole story was very well planned, and stuff...
Kinda weird how you got the whole idea from "our body's got a fever"
Very nice job. :D
| Golden feathers Edward chapter 1 . 8/21/2011
that was an awesome story! Loved how everything flowed so well! Not rushed or boringly long for a one-shot. I loved it! Do you take requests?
| seantriana chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
Wow this is a good story to read, and what a great review given by Quaked Lurker! I got this habit of reading the reviews before reviewing myself and I'm glad of it!. And wow again! This is a oneshot! A long oneshot! A rarity! It's awesome! Awell-planned story! Why can't most of the fanfics be like this? For a oneshot this one is extremely satisfying to read.
I'm not familiar with NCIS, (with me ignoring the television for years and decided the internet is better and the tv completely dedicated to gaming) but it's enough to introduce me to the team! Now I feel like wanting to watch the series to better understand their character. Not saying anything about the DP, I keep track of them everyday, espacially the crossover section, imagine my suprise when I noticed the addition!
No Sam huh? Maybe the pink monstrosities got her busy. Probably a good thing, she wouldn't show mercy...
I can see how living in Amity made them extraordinary, I mean, see Tucker! One plug and he managed to copy the entire mainframe! With that kind of skill, even the internet won't be safe. He rivals, no... better than Technus! Glad he's dedicated to the team.
I feel like there's actually something fishy going on around Amity, ignoring the whole hushed up stories of ghosts... and Vlad... The GIW is not someone I would want haging around with - *BE CAREFUL DANNY!* - If they get him... The world would cease to exist (Clockwork wouldn't be pleased).
Is there a sequel? Spin-offs? Bloopers? I would love to read more! It's just so darn addicting!
| Quacked Lurker chapter 1 . 8/20/2011
No 'anonymous?' Well, it does keep the rabble out, and to each author his/her own.
Oh I like! There is just something about well-written, COMPLETED crossovers that draw my attention. If 'Our Body' was a novel, I couldn't put it down. The only thing that confused me, was towards the end where you were mentioning the team by name-called KATE by her last name of TODD (did Danny ever learn her full name? Everyone else except Gibbs was mentally identified by first name, and it threw me for a loop. For a second, I was wondering where the Stargate Atlantis Wraith came in, then had an 'OH' moment, and remembered that Catlyn Todd is her official name). Don't change, keep it in. Makes those readers who lasted that long sit up and take notice.
Okay, let's go for what I liked/Didn't like, enjoyed/hated, preferred/could have done without, and general 'critique' of this story.
Length is Excellent. It's not something I look at specifically, unless I want to relax for an hour or so. However, in my experience, longer generally tends to mean a well-written plot, with tiny details that can make or break the story. Plus the characterization of everyone was excellent. I absolutely enjoyed how you portrayed the NCIS team.
The fact this is completed drew me in. Well, the summary details had me thinking about clicking on it, then I saw the status, and decided I couldn't pass this story up. (there is a DP/CSI story here I have read two or three times. If you hadn't read Running Blind, go read it). Glad I had the time to finish your story in one sitting.
Ah, the intro was well-done. Makes me feel sorry for the popsicle kid, and then I grow to realize the teen found is DANNY! Heart wrenching, yet shocking and so surprising. Makes me wonder how he got that way in the first place (reading on, cause I know the question will almost certainly be answered later in the fic). Kudos towards the empathy and description of events, location, and characterizations. If I wasn't a fan of both shows, I might request a physical description of both, but not necessary.
The tone of everyone, the conversations, Gibb's attitude, and how the people relate helped keep this 'real' and 'authentic'. I can see this happening in both realities (cannon of either, too bad this isn't an actual episode).
You kept the 'tense' the same. Sometimes I have to go back and make sure the action is either happening now (present), or then (past). Future scenes I have yet to figure out. This flowed nicely because there was no jump between past events and present movement. The vocabulary is nicely done as well-not too many specialized words, not so generalized that it implies you know (almost) nothing about the fandom, and you added emotions quite nicely to the scene. Well done, thank you.
Ah, Danny, so far from home, and alone. What has happened to you? Besides being victim to your own ice-powers (post the Far Frozen episode)? All will be revealed. Ah, was wondering if ghost-ice behaved differently than normal ice. Hmm, either the equipment isn't sensitive enough to detect the ecto-plasmic residue, or there is no ghostly-residue when it comes to ice. Either that, or the ability to detect the other-realm is so far out there, very few machines can identify it, and thus either ignore the readings (setting it up as 'unidentifiable contamination), or can't 'see' it at all. If the second option, means the Fenton products are that much more apart from 'normal' counterparts.
Ah, so 'Dan' is still young. Not yet eighteen, (or the protective instincts of Gibbs, Kate/Todd, Tim/McGee, and Tony/Dinozo and Ducky/Mallard would not have engaged), but older than the four-teen year old suddenly finding himself fighting ghosts to protect his town, his classmates, his friends-and-family, and his home. Good to see that he hasn't escaped all of life's troubles and trials unscathed. Plus, it is interesting seeing how different people react to the emotional memories brought up. Just adds a bit more mystery to the kid with only one name.
Small towns don't have the same disturbing crimes that Gibb's team and homicide officers might come across. I mean, deliberately harming another human, leaving them to the elements, and then hiding the 'crime'? To me, it doesn't make sense. Unfortunately, the writers for the 'Real Life Drama's and Police Shows (NCIS, CSI, Law-and-Order, Monk, Criminal Minds, etcetera) don't have to use their imaginations to come up with more mysteries for the crime-fighters and public protectors to solve. Just read the newspapers and change relevant details. It's enough. On the one hand, it is relieving to note that Danny either doesn't expect that to happen to him, or he didn't realize such events were real.
I love the dialogue between Gibbs and Danny. The way the two dance around unspoken facts, questions and answers, without actually revealing anything they don't want the other to know is very well done. I like how you focused more on the interpretation of the words than the words themselves. Makes sense, since Kate and Gibbs are looking for the inconsistencies of 'suspects' and 'victims' that either can't or won't reveal the truth. That, and sometimes it is easier to make a general realization than to make the survivor spell it out. However, those assumptions can also cause severe complications if used incorrectly. Or manipulated by the villain.
Hmm, so Danny's different from most humans. He knows it, and either suspects the Agents know it, or wants to limit unwanted questions, so gives up a tiny bit of his behavior quirks. Then again, being found half/mostly frozen WITHOUT a freezer would be something else. So, in order to keep status as a ghost/human hybrid (or halfling), admit that body temperature isn't as high as most, and move on. Helps answers unasked behavioral ques, such as the clenching of the blanket and stuff.
Behavioral acts (such as shifting away from the descending hand) speaks to abuse or at least a family that isn't platonically physical (my family hugs and shakes hands often, but I can see how a kid raised to expect nothing but a nod would recoil from a pat on the back or hand on the shoulder), but as Kate notes later, most or the entire 'interview' was a calculated act.
Good to know that Ducky is a Doctor. sure, Dr. Mallard might be better trained to deal with the dead, but he has been attributed to having some knowledge of proper body functions and remedies (better him than a hospital doctor who may not know the individual as well). Not sure how much of that was artistic license by the writers/directors, but it helps on cutting down characters who don't receive as much screen time and allowing more personality growth of the team. Plus it gives fan-fiction writers a better place to stand on when they send Donald into the hospital room, or let him 'diagnose' physical problems.
Why did Danny open up the window in the first place if he was going to turn his arms intangible and let off 'cold' energy? I assume this means the hospital room is upstairs? For a second, I thought he would try escaping and was going to run. Well, at least now we know approximately When in the Danny Phantom community this happens. Personally enjoyed Frostbite and the Yeits, but I didn't care for everything in season three. Good, Danny gets to eat, and its almost time to heat dinner here as well.
YES! A call home. At least he's not alone. Wait, so Jazz is going to run interference? Ah, so you haven't deviated too far from Butch Hartman's cannon. I suppose it is easier than keeping track of all the tiny changes that make this one possible. Then again, it gives us readers a basis of knowing where the kid is coming from. No Sam? At least Tucker gets a few minutes to help.
Surveillance. A bit disturbing, when one realizes how little privacy actually exists, but considering Danny-with-no-last-name isn't being more forthcoming, I can see why Abby, Gibbs and the others are willing to track and (attempt to) listen in. The kid is in danger, and he's being tight lip. What if a bad-guy is going to take this time of silence and attempt again to keep keep the kid quiet permanently. Ah, so hospital procedures - need to know how people are going to react to medicine, what blood type in case a transfusion is necessary, if illegal drugs are present in system, or potential means of incatcipating individuals. Yikes. At least someone is knowledgeable about proper procedures to protect John Doe.
NOW the dead body comes into play. What would a true civilian have done if they were the one to find the marine killed by ghosts? Nice plot twist. Adds a supernatural twinge, when the cause of death is discovered.
Oh, was the question about 'unfinished business' foreshadowing? Makes sense, though, considering we DO NOT KNOW what happens to the bodies of the dead, and science refuses to believe in a soul. I like this tie-in to the ghost section of the crossover.
GIW, can be either either comic relief, or competent bad-guys. Here, they are a major pain, and a potential threat. To GHOSTS! not humans. Love the distinction.
Oh, and the 'findings' outsiders have when researching Amity Park was hilarious. How often does an entire town disappear from the outside world? Ignoring EUREKA. Ghost reports outnumber weather updates? Sweet!
Now the 'meat' of the crossover. I'm loving every moment. No complaints. High quality, (did you get a beta? No grammar mistakes, punctuation is in order, everything flows and ties together, suspense builds nicely. Nothing is revealed too quickly, and the comparission of Gibbs to Jack, Timothy to the teens [Doomed], and more)
Ah, except for the ghosts, all was right in the world. I would hate to encounter these tiny beasts out in the field if they were more malicious than protective. Funny how they knew Danny was one of them, despite hidding as human. Cool technologi