|Reviews for The Secrets We Keep|
| Cman chapter 15 . 3/11
PLEASE FINISH THIS STORY 3
| jade chapter 15 . 1/11
That other story that you're writing post it I'd love to read it and I love this story as well
| Xoxo chapter 15 . 12/15/2013
This is really good! Can't wait for more!
| sheigh chapter 15 . 11/13/2013
I want the nxt chapter I am loving this story.
| danceislife13 chapter 15 . 10/20/2013
This story is soooo amazing! DJ and Brian are a smidge out of character but I love that because I didn't quite love their awkwardness in the series. Please please please update! This is the only Dairy Queen fanfic I have found and I love it so much!
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
| Katie chapter 1 . 8/21/2013
Please please please keep going ! PLEASE
| Yukiji chapter 15 . 8/17/2013
I think you should go ahead with the idea you have! I love this chapter by the way and I'm looking forward for another one!
| Edhla chapter 3 . 7/3/2013
"I told him that I'd never had a boyfriend." This is such a small aside, it could almost come across as filler, but I absolutely love it because it says so much about their relationship that DJ feels comfortable telling him she's never had a boyfriend- something that girls are often made to feel ashamed of for some reason. It's cosy. They're bros and it is nice :)
I've a small criticism, and that's the list of DJ's purchases. It seemed intrusive to the story- if none of those things are relevant to the plot, then I don't think they belong in the chapter. I didn't feel entertained or that I was learning anything about DJ by having a shopping list.
I also think there's way too much there for it to be realistic- that's thousands and thousands of dollars worth of stuff. It's pretty unrealistic that DJ could secretly accrue thousands of dollars without her family noticing. If Brian can afford to spend thousands of dollars on her, you don't really explain where *he* gets the money from. And it creates a super huge plot hole: there is no way her family would not notice she suddenly had loads of jewelry and *22 new shirts* and ask where the heck she got them from. It sort of just comes across as wish-fulfilment.
Classy move that Brian wouldn't sleep in Curtis' room. Still enjoying this story, shopping lists aside :)
| Edhla chapter 2 . 7/3/2013
"So confusing." No kidding. I really like the dilemma DJ is in and the way you've gone about it... not melodramatic.
"I felt a pang"... I really like how easy this is to sympathise with... we've all heard someone dissed in our presence and not always had the ability to tell the disser to go jump.
"Which I knew." Which she thought, that is :) Again, I really like the way you're challenging stereotypes, here. It's not in the least heavyhanded.
Again, really natural dialogue that flows well, and a very good tag for the next chapter. Really enjoying this :)
| Edhla chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
Disclaimer: I'm not familiar with this fandom, but I came across this in the archives and it was too well-written not to stop and review.
Your narrative voice is really well-done... engaging. I find so often that the first-person narrator just plain annoys me, but this one doesn't. "Okay, maybe that's a tiny bit dramatic" made me smile- your narrator is a realist. I smiled again for the line about being glared at over the Christmas holidays.
The "let me explain" paragraph is extremely well done. As someone outside the fandom, I really appreciated the headsup on what was going on and the rivalry between Red Bend and Hawley. At the same time, it didn't come across that you had halted the action mid-fic to give us a glorious infodump. An excellent balance.
The way you use dialogue and tags is elegant and adult. I'm particularly fond of your instances of using an action tag instead of a dialogue one, for example, "He gestured to the weight set behind him." Very nicely done.
What an excellent last line/hook into the next chapter :)
| Caity Bear Luvs Pandas chapter 15 . 6/14/2013
Oh my gosh! Update I can't wait! You're an amazing writer!
| gryffindorrk chapter 15 . 6/13/2013
Aaaaa! I am just so excited for them to meet because I am pretty sure it is going to be hilarious to read.
And you totally should do the story! And let us know if you do because I totally want to read it!
| hockeychick19 chapter 15 . 6/13/2013
| gryffindorrk chapter 14 . 6/3/2013
The meet between the brothers and Brian is going to be so good! I can feel it! I am really excited for it!