Reviews for Final Moments
TheVintageFeminist chapter 1 . 12/21/2011
All I have to say is...My heart cracked reading this...You've done an awesome job.
Lady Aduka chapter 1 . 8/24/2011
I'd say this was much better than the first version. However, what put me off a bit was the random Japanese words. It kinda disrupts the flow of the story and it just sounds very awkward (especially for those who don't understand the language) and very (pardon the term) noob-ish. It's like that feeling when you're cruising on a well-paved road and then a hump suddenly appears and forces you to slam on the breaks. I'd suggest substituting those words with their English equivalents so that it'd be much easier to read.

Take care!