|Reviews for The Initiation|
| saiya uchiha chapter 2 . 1/26
Oh my god! Please don't leave as just a one shot! Turn it into a story! Please! I've got to read more! I must know more!..lol
| MonaTheGrat chapter 1 . 10/3/2012
Yaoi warning needed!
| VampbaitInfinity chapter 1 . 4/4/2012
...daaaamn! Thatz some good butt-fuckin'! XD NOT EVEN ENOUGH SPACE TO WRITE DOWN ALL MY ME GUSTAS!
| BlackWingedTrickster chapter 1 . 9/17/2011
I have to say this is one of the best Kakuhida stories I have ever read! The threesome made it just that much better!
| akebou chapter 2 . 8/30/2011
Yay update! You're really good at lemon, Hidan is in totally in character too. It's kinda his style to act gentle when he want something (remember the "pretty please with cherry on top?") and don't worry about Oc x character, they don't fall in love, he's not a self-insert or a gary-sue so it's okay, I love your story and I hope you will continue it!
| theabominablesnowmansassfur chapter 1 . 8/25/2011
Well...you surprised me,in a lot of I saw the whole "OC" thing I was sure it'd be a girl, heh...thank god it was a guy for once, eh? Always refreshing.
So...yes. And another surprise-I came in here expecting to go wild with rage if I decided to review, but guess what? No wildness or rage here! And I will tell you why in just a moment...
Okay, not really a moment xDD So, I think your writing is wonderful, you have no detectable spelling/grammatical errors and your style is mature and get your story told without leaving gaps and stuff. I can tell you spent a long time on this (and you actually proofread, which is becoming rare nowadays) so that's very professional of you as well.
Your OC actually didn't annoy me! He was very...normal, average. I liked it. I'm not really a fan of threesomes, especially with these two...which brings me to the part I always seem to get picky with-characterization.
Not bad, not bad at all! Wow...I haven't EVER said that before when reviewing a lemon with these two, you'd be the first! The thing is, I appreciate that you gave Hidan some dominance rather than making him a whiny little slut. And even though the way you portrayed Kakuzu was...well, a llittle harsh considering I always thought of him as a big teddy bear xD but you made him loving towards Hidan even despite being a bit...hehe, so I appreciate that. Love the fluff, even if it's not the focus at all xD You said at the end that you were making them OOC during the whole "I love you" parts...I disagree. I think they'd be very loving, so you got that down! (Personally, I don't think it would be in-character for a threesome to take place with them, but lately I've come to understand that this is FANfiction, and people have the right to do things for the sake of smut xD Took me awhile to figure that out.
One thing is that you, like many others, sort of made Hidan masochistic, which is a mischaracterization in my eyes...but YOU did it better than most, still giving him dominance an such. I did kind of have a problem with the verbal degradation...because I see Hidan as a pure sadist, and sadists love power and control, and wouldn't allow themselves to be degraded and such, ya know? But this is just me and your not obligated to listen or anything xD Just giving personal opinions.
All in all, you definitely gave me a pleasant surprise. As I said, I was expecting to rant an rave because I am a VERY harsh critic when it comes to the zombie combi...but I didn't really have to, because you wrote it well and...something just was better than so many others I've seen. Not to mention the effort on your part. Great job, and sorry for giving you a review half as long as the story! lol...okay, I'll stop now xD
| akebou chapter 1 . 8/25/2011
even if I don't like OC paired with non-oc, this is the hottest thing I've ever read :P
| Silver Moon Lit Forest chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
That was an amazing story and I am most certainly looking forward to the next chapter. Amazing job!