|Reviews for Beauty And The Spiderman|
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/10/2019
| blanktester chapter 4 . 9/6/2014
I'm so glad this hasn't been updated. I feel like I'm reading something different than everyone else. This is so horrible. If you are thinking about updating, please DON'T. Please stop trying to write and learn how English works. This story is a complete clusterfuck of grammar issues, plot issues, and idiotic dialogue. Everything from your original premise to your OMNISCIENT FIRST PERSON NARRATOR to your characterization to your dialogue is terrible.
| redbobcat99 chapter 6 . 8/17/2014
Did you stop making any? If not: You. Must. Make. MORE!
| HoodedSource chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
Can't till you get the whole thing done.
| The Cobra2 chapter 6 . 12/29/2013
no romance try doing a little better more peter and daphne and maybe her finding out he is spiderman
| Guest chapter 6 . 7/26/2013
I've been waiting for over a year for chapter 7! What's the hold up!?
| Doctor Frostybuscus chapter 4 . 10/16/2012
I think there should be more Spider-Man action.
| Doctor Frostybuscus chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
| DarkGhostLight chapter 2 . 8/27/2012
| DarkGhostLight chapter 6 . 8/21/2012
| FireSightGlare chapter 6 . 8/15/2012
Nice work! I like how immediately Scooby knew Peters secret! Hey can my Oc be in a chapter or 2?
| Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr chapter 3 . 7/22/2012
ooooooooh! me likey!
| KaliScarlet chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Never really thought of this pairing before. It's very interesting. You might want to go back and edit a little more but besides that it's amazing :D Can't wait for more.
| mcknight93 chapter 6 . 6/7/2012
Great chapter, I am wondering who this Chase is.
I am looking forward to the action parts, so the gang can see what Spider man can do. This will also be a potential chance for Spidey to save Daphne as she is the usual damsel.
A few ways that I see on how you can improve your writing is adding more adjectives and adverbs. And paragraphing when a character speaks. And keep everything in past tense. Here is an example:
The Mystery Corp gang quickly rushed out of their seventies styled van.
"Alright gang, let's split up!" Fred proudly announced with his chest puffed out and a smirk on his face.
"I'll go with Peter!" Dalphne said without haste, as she rushed to grab a hold of the Peter's arm.
Parker slowly looked to his side to see the red head, that was latched onto his arm with a bright smile in her lips.
"Um...I...der... Okay." Peter muttered embarrassingly with a red blushed face.
"Like, me and Scoob, will check the kitchen." Shaggy spoke with his usual nervous laugh and his skinny thumb pointed to where he wanted to be.
"Reah, the kitchen." Scooby snickered. (I don't think I can right Scooby's speech good)
Seeing that everyone in the gang except one was partnered up, Velma came to a conclusion.
"I guess I will go with Fred."
Fred clapped his hands once with pride to gain everyone's attention.
"Alright gang, we will meet back at the Mystery Machine in an hour."
I hope this helps. Great job on the chapter, I hope to see another soon.
| mcknight93 chapter 5 . 10/12/2011
Great chapter update, your writing is getting better everytime. Now there is another thing you can improve for your writing. Everytime a character talks, paragraph (just press 'enter' button once). It's makes it easier to read and I guess it's more proper but I am not sure. Here is an example:
"Alright, let's split up gang!" Fred announced enthusactically.
Daphne quickly runs to Peter and grabs his right arm with both of her arms.
"I'll go with Peter!" Daphne said with a big smile on her lips.
"O...K...Ok." Peter Parker stammered with a blush showing on his face.
Velma turns to the leader if the Mystery Incorpareted gang, "Well, I guess I will go with you Fred." Velma said.
Fred bores his usual peppy smile with his can-do attitude. The blond trap lover then turns to Shaggy and Scooby.
"We know, we know. Like me and Scoobs like usual." Shaggy said with his thumbing pointing at the huge brown dog they all know and love.
I hope this helps. Now for an idea for another chapter. Now could be a good chance for Spider man to show himself. Have him take on one of Scooby's villians that are tougher than the normal ones, like the crazy robot at that run down circus, a group of monsters like the Vampire, Mummy, Ghost, and Frankenstein. It could be from the old ones or new ones. Spider man can also take on villians that used robots as their monsters. it would be a good chance for you to write out a combat scene.
Good luck with the next chapter and message me if you need any help.