|Reviews for Sonic Concepts 2|
| thesoniczone11 chapter 14 . 5/14/2014
| Stitchfan 82 chapter 14 . 8/31/2013
That was seriously intense!
But vary good.
I feel like I have been through a war.
| gameloverx chapter 14 . 3/16/2013
omg...super epic story! and chapter 12 was pretty deep. i love how you portrayed Sonic's character in his monologue! this the kind of story I've been looking for for a long time. and the iron man reference was cool, too. and if this is all actually happening in the MARVEL universe, can we please get more references in the 3rd one. maybe a SHIELD cameo. that'd be great!
| Vheeri The Succubus chapter 14 . 7/5/2012
Spell check: Non-existant -ahem-
To be honest, I'm officially avoiding 3 because of the limited chapters. Your writing is amazing, and I dont think I could start and have to stop while waiting for updates. Last time that happened with another story, I lost interest in the fandom pretty quickly because their style of writing was so rare and near proffesional. In fact, I think I've only read two other fics that are on par with your level of creactivity and skill. Pretty sure I mentioned this, but it's very rare to find Sonic fanfics with OCs in general that I don't hate, even rare-er for them to be human and likable. I don't think there was a single OC you've presented I havn't found interesting. I love the names, too. They are in no way generic and are all diverse. Pretty bland seeing names like Hope or Elizabeth and last names that reference something video game related. I also like the mix of nationalities. Another rare thing without someone being the representation of what anime fans think the Japanese are like or a stereotype. And I even appreciate how you just know who to keep the focus on.
Like Alicia and Cheryll for example. Both play a proper role of someone who's not important, but makes a strong impact regardless. I was a bit worried the attention would shift to them, but it didn't. Well, probably because I'm tired of female OCs getting the spotlight. But anyway, I think I'm gonna go after Tails' Blog instead. I realy hope you update 3 soon because I can't wait to read it and, ya know, keep reading it. Oooh I wish maybe 30% of the writers here could whip out what you've done here. It would make searching for something less mentaly scarring.
Now that I think about it, I noticed you put Sonic in a decent home and he still lives a pretty messed up life on Earth. I love it! In Sonic X, Sonic and friends get the typical fanfiction treatment. Big mansion, rich family, never have to worry about anything living wise. Boring. Here, despite living in what I'm guessing is a bit higher than middle class housing, Sonic still has to witness the horrors of what humans are capable of. I wonder if in Concepts 3 Sonic will question his own home living vs what he saw. Oh there are so many things right with this story I don't think I can think of them all at once. Keep writing, and hopefully don't neglect favoriting stories you like. I'm runnin' low here _
| Vheeri The Succubus chapter 10 . 7/4/2012
I wanted to wait until I was finished before reviewing, but something amazing happened while I was reading, mainly when I got to all the war heavy chapters. It's the 4th of July week, and people in my neighborhood, including my family, have been shooting off fireworks/crackers for hours, almost all day pretty much. Combined with your powerful depictions of tragedy, it's like I'm really there with Sonic and everyone. The loud, missle like screeching makes me visualize the devestation to the city. I would go on and on about how beautifully written this is, but I want to keep reading while all the extra loud fireworks are still going off. Great job keeping everyone IC as well. This far in the game I'm extremely impressed you havn't turned Sonic and Tails into Shadow clones. Though my only issue with this is the lack of translations at the end, or somewhere. Google can only do so much, and like when Roja said "Eat shit and die, you bastards" I had to guess 'die' due to my baby level knowlege of Spanish.
| the-speed-demon chapter 14 . 6/5/2012
I really, really love this story. The character interactions are flawless. And that's something I always appreciate. And you a unique brand of characterization, with Sonic and all the characters. And I love the way you can always fit in the humans, and real conflict in the stories (this and the first one) while still making it clear that Sonic and his friends are the focus of the story. :)
I REALLY enjoyed all the moral conflict. I love stories like that. Shades of gray. There was alot of it in the first one, but you just turned it up to eleven in this. And poor Sonic, in chapter nine, breaking down like that. That's not something you see everyday, and when people know how to write his character properly, it's even more impressive. That broke my heart. Aw. And Tails, turning around and comforting him... that was lovely.
Oh! Speaking of the fox... All that character developement. :) His willingness to try and do things on his own, his kindness and that humble speech he made at the end. AW. I love Tails, so it was wonderful to see all that developement. If he keeps this up, he'll be just like Sonic!
And I loved the little bits of humor in this chapter. The internet meme thing and Tails' headline on the news made me laugh out loud. XD Genius.
Lovely story Exploder. :) I'm off to read the third one now!
| Speedy1236 chapter 14 . 2/19/2012
Oh Tails. Good little loyal Tails. Wakes up in a hospital bed and the first thing he wants to know is if Sonic's alright. So adorable, and so much in character. :) Glad to see Sonic can still laugh, too.
"You okay, kid?" Knuckles asked, sounding genuinely concerned. It was quite rare to hear him talk like that. - Indeed is. Appreciate it, Tails. ;)
'Then again, Sonic thought…had he ever been able to do that?' - Is that a theme song reference here?
More ethics to wrap this up. Maybe no-one is really able to tell what is right or wrong really. Maybe all we can do is do what our hearts tell us is right.
... That sounded cliché. But maybe I want to sound it. I dunno.
Tails' speech is just... aww. You just gotta love him, don't you?
The ending's a bit of a bittersweet note. Hope Sonic's going to be okay. Everyone else, too. But it fit the story, everyone leaning back and enjoying a deal of ice cream after the ordeal they (and their world) have been through without a care in the world would have felt totally out of place.
So, yeah. Great story with a lot of strong realism. I guess I'll tell you now that I like the prequel better, but that has nothing to do with the writing, but with me being a stupid pacifist with an utter disliking for any kind of war and war stories. I've made an exception for this one, 'cause it's really good. That's probably the biggest compliment on your work with it I can give you. I'm not sure if you understand how much it means.
Anyway... See you around.
| Speedy1236 chapter 13 . 2/19/2012
Ah, one of Eggman's notorious monologues. These are classics, aren't they? And as usually, it didn't clear many things up really. ;D
Ouch. Poor Tails. Looks like he's getting it bad here... But still, in spite of his injuries, or maybe also because of them, I think he's grown to a rather strong character throughout this story. In the beginning, he was so shy and timid and little self-conscious, and now he's become quite the little warrior. I'm pretty proud of him. Hope they're gonna patch him up alright. They better do.
And that conversation between Sonic and Guerrez... Wow. That's quite deep, man. Like with your take on Robotnik's history, the ARA suddenly isn't as simply put into the 'evil' box like it used to. War's a nasty thing, from both sides. It's a crime in itself, and no party taking part in it is free of dirty stains on their hands. And Sonic's stuck finding the easy black and white scales don't work anymore.
Boy, Sonic's lucky he's got Knuckles around who can carry tons of nitrogen tanks AND swim them to safety... Seems like all of them escaped rather closely this time around.
'Physically, at least.' *sighs* Given the circumstances, that's maybe the best we can ask for.
| Speedy1236 chapter 12 . 2/19/2012
Well, I lied. I found some time. ;)
Still like your little details, like Tails having to use his own oxygen mask and helmet. Things like that make stories alive.
Sonic got into a cave-in AGAIN? Twice even? This is becoming a nasty habbit. He better think that one over... They say cats have nine lives. I guess blue hedgehog's must have more than twenty or something.
And Knuckles throwing stuff at his enemies is also becoming quite the tactic. Given his strength it kinda surprises me no-one really came up with that idea for a fighting technique for him before (aside of Sonic Battle, I guess).
Sonic's drill attack move is kinda interesting. A little Sonic Colors inspired, maybe? ;) But he ended up helping Robotnik by accident... Damn.
Hope Tails is going to be okay.
| Last one chapter 14 . 1/7/2012
'Unconsciously, he had already gotten up from the couch, fists curled. "He can't be right."'
Sonic definitely cares about people. About all those who are in danger. And about justice. But here, it's not hard to tell he definitely doesn't want Robotnik to be right, either. He almost seems somewhat in denial here. After fighting Robotnik all his life, he simply can't deal with the idea that Robotnik might have been right. Ooh.
'"But Adabat…they have no one. A lot of people might be donating or giving aid to them now, but they have no single person or figure to rely on. Go there and be that person. They need you more than I do."'
LOVE. "Go there and be that person." Great line. And he is so right. What an opportunity. Sonic can be that person. There's still fighting left to be done, even if a different kind.
'Feeling incredibly glad that he no longer needed to choose between his friend and other people, Sonic made his decision as he began striding towards the front door. "So…I guess I should get moving now?"'
Oh wow. I did not expect this to end with Sonic and Tails splitting off... but you know what, it's for the better. And they're both okay with it. Tails is right, Adabat needs someone. I love that Sonic was worried about Tails and that's why he didn't want to leave at first. They both care about each other immensely.
'He raced onto the tarmac and zoomed down the streets, professionally sliding around the same corners that he had many days ago, only this time it wasn't for fun.'
Ahh man. Just a few days ago. Hard to believe. So much happened so fast.
'He was not going to let any more people become victims in the struggle between him and Robotnik. No, he was going to save everyone.
Because he was Sonic the Hedgehog, and this was the responsibility that he had sworn to take up, and to never, ever put down, no matter what. This responsibility was a part of him. It was him.'
AHHHH :D :D :D
Okay, I know things are kind of bad, and ended on a bittersweet note, but there is so much hope there. So much character. Just his simple conclusion that he is going to save EVERYONE. He's not giving up. And that makes readers hopeful too. Gives him something to fight for, us something to read for. :) What a fantastic way to end this. You're right; I DID love these last few chapters! Didn't think I was going to finish this today when I got going on it last night. Glad I did. :) But yeah, definitely that slightly empty 'no more story :(' feeling.
I look forward to Sonic Concepts 3. :) Thank you for an honest, exciting, meaningful, well-written story.
| Derp guess who chapter 14 . 1/7/2012
'The fox was sincerely taken aback by the display of concern from all of these donators. He was reminded of the days before he met Sonic, when the world felt like it had viewed him as nothing more than a toy at best and a dangerous demon at worst, a kitsune. Things obviously got better after he followed the hedgehog elsewhere, and people on Earth seemed to be accepting of him too based on the reception he'd gotten on his blog, but never did he expect a complete 180 from that time of his life, to be apparently regarded like Sonic himself.'
I want to hug that fox so bad. :) PERFECTLY said, this entire paragraph. Great way to take readers back and remind us just how Tails's life used to be, and how far he really has come - in status and in CHARACTER - since that time. Tails saved those people despite still being uncertain about them, and they RECIPROCATED, finally showing him the same kindness he has shown on so many occasions.
'Without Tails to talk to, all of the unpleasant memories from yesterday and the day before that began to come back. He continued to find Guerrez's and Robotnik's speeches troubling to the core, especially the former. He shuddered upon remembering the boy in the devastated village crying for his father. The people who were brutally executed before his eyes. The people who were bombed in the city.'
Yeah... can't be easy. It's kind of touching that just talking to his little bro was distracting him though. They both need each other; it's obviously not just Tails who needs Sonic. And yeah, Guerrez's speech was troubling, especially.
'"Hey, Alan?" he called out softly.'
Oh, so they are going to have this talk. Was hoping so. I like the mention of him talking to Tails about it, too. Those two were in this together. I'm sure he and Tails would have plenty to say to each other regarding this whole ordeal, too.
'I'd much rather we made up for it in some way other than spilling blood, no matter ours or anybody else's. That takes time, and the actions these people take in retaliation simply do not help.'
Mm-hmm. I'd rather it be that way too. But I understand what he's saying. I wonder how they can help... or if Adabat can recover.
'Sonic hadn't expected such a lengthy answer. Only then did he realize that he had indeed said something similar while replying to Guerrez.'
Oh man, you're right. Irony.
So Alan studied history. No wonder he knew all that. XD
'"…I just couldn't tell who was right or wrong anymore. I mean that literally." Then again, Sonic thought…had he ever been able to do that?'
Such a moral gray area. And, I don't know if you intended this or not (I have a feeling you did), nice reference to Sonic's theme song. Not knowing who's wrong and who's right, fighting for what he believes in, etc.
'"Sometimes I think everyone's both." Doherty paused for a bit before adding, "the only thing is, just because some people are on the darker shade of it, doesn't mean they need something like this happening to them," He looked back into Sonic's eyes after the hedgehog was done staring at the ground. "I remember something you once said. You believe in giving others a chance."'
I'm loving this conversation so much. I'm not even sure what to say about it - just that it all resonates. Everything Doherty just said resonates. I don't know how else to explain it. It just seems right that they're having this conversation. I think that when you're reading something, you subconsciously (or perhaps consciously) have things you want to happen, things you want characters to say, and this conversation is addressing a LOT of those little points. (...If that makes any sense.)
'"It's an admirable quality of yours, and Tails too, especially in the face of people who don't share it," Alan elaborated.'
Agreed. Especially in the face of people who don't share it. So true.
'"I guess I didn't, not much. I just went to Adabat to make sure nothing would happen to Angel Island, and we succeeded. Why they were fighting was irrelevant to me. If we managed to save lives in the process, that's just a bonus."'
Heh, and I was just talking about how I don't feel like I know Knux's thoughts. Well, that's interesting. I agree with how he feels about his duty to Angel Island. It's kind of jarring, though, him saying saving lives was just a bonus. Somehow I think (and hope) that he cares a little more than that. Knuckles has been said to want to see the good in others before, I think (and that might be part of why he can be gullible at times). He doesn't always SHOW that he cares, but I'd like to think he does.
'The hedgehog sighed in return. "Okay…if you say so. But you think we saved enough?"'
If you say so. I agree with Sonic there. ;)
'"We'll help you every step of the way. No pun intended," the hedgehog said before chuckling good-naturedly.'
XDD No pun intended, eh? If you say so, Sonic. :P
'Sonic was very glad to see Tails being so much happier than he was despite all of his injuries. "Yeah, it definitely is," he replied with a sigh that seemed contented to the fox, but not to himself, "it's great."'
Maybe Tails is still a bit young to realize the full severity of what's happened? I don't know. Sucks that Sonic's not happy though. I almost want to ask (and I think I will): What's up here? With Sonic being so down and Tails being so up? Is it just that Tails is all happy that people care about him and such? I mean, I don't blame Sonic at ALL for being down. Even Sonic. But the contrast between their moods right now just makes me wonder if there's some reason for Sonic's sadness or Tails's joy that I'm not seeing.
'"They're not going to eat you up or anything, bud," Sonic reassured. He couldn't help but be slightly amused at the way his friend commonly reacted to this kind of thing.'
Hehe, Sonic probably totally expected this. :P
'I'm in physical pain right now, but if I had failed, the emotional pain would be so much worse.'
Oh I bet. Well put.
'I guess, you know, I'd rather be screwed up, instead of screw up, any day of the week!'
XDD Again, well put!
Tails seems like he's more at home here than he was on Mobius.
'So while I appreciate the donations very much, I hope you guys can donate to help them too. They really need what they can get. I'll definitely do the same with the leftover donated funds after my entire recovery's paid for.'
Ohh, I didn't even think of that. What a good idea.
'And it's not just Adabat, really. Any place in the world that's unstable right now…you can help them, and I hope you do it just like you have for me. It doesn't have to be much. Because I know they feel like the world is ignoring them or even against them, and I don't want them to feel the same way I did last time. Just show a bit to concern to prove that that's not true, and I think it can make a big difference.'
And here we have something good coming out of something bad. Now hopefully a difference can be made for many people. It all starts with one person, but now all these people Tails is talking to can take action as well. Tails is such a hero. Hasn't met everything with certainty, but always with courage. Including this speech. One thing: I think that last sentence has a tiny little typo. "Just show a bit to concern" ;)
'The fox decided to stop a few times to let various people sign their names on his casts, as well as hand out his autograph to those that wanted it.'
:) Cool. Man, he's getting a ton of attention. Makes up for all the times he hasn't really gotten any, though. Glad Sonic's so happy for him too. He's gotta be proud of Tails.
'"Kinda like me," the fox couldn't help but say as he glanced down at his patched up body again with a sigh.'
XD, I have to admit I chuckled.
'I told him that if you need spare parts to repair the Tornado, we can manufacture them to your ordered specifications at a special discount just for you.'
PFFF, special discount? He should get that plane fixed for free if you ask me. 0_0 But then I don't know anything about how expensive that would be... but you know what, it's a hell of a lot less 'expensive' than all those lives would have been if Tails had failed.
'"It's the least I could do to repay you," the former CEO simply said'
The least he could do indeed. *shot*
'"Mr. Mayes, wait!" But he had already hung up. Tails put the WRID down with mixed feelings. "Wow…"'
Hmm, wonder why he wanted Mayes to wait. Wonder what he was going to say..?
'The latest one she's gotten is called Skyrim, I think.'
Irony! That's exactly where I'm headed after I'm done reading this! XD Great game. You play it too, I take it?
'He looked down at the floor as he once again thought about what Robotnik had said to him and Guerrez in that cave, especially his line about seeing what would happen to Adabat after he left. His feelings, already low, sunk even further.'
That discussion keeps coming back. Kinda like it's haunting him. Sonic is still Sonic but everyone changes with experience, and he left that cave slightly different than he came in, didn't he?
'"Sonic, you okay? I really mean it," he said, wanting to help his friend.'
Glad Tails asked. I want to know what he's thinking. I hope he can cheer up and get his usual energy back.
'"So…here's the thing. I never thought I would say this, but…you think he's right? You think the country would have been better off under him?"'
Somehow I don't think so, but you never really know. Now Sonic has to wonder if they were fighting the 'good guy' all along. I don't think Robotnik's the good guy here, but then, this story has exposed such a moral gray area, as I've said before.
| DC111 chapter 13 . 1/7/2012
'The echidna did what he was asked and immediately cracked one of the cylinders open like most people would an egg, allowing its contents to spill all over the metal case.'
Hah, nice analogy. Very telling of just how strong he is. I like how you take all the characters' abilities into account.
'"But how are we gonna get outta here in time?" Sonic asked'
LULZ How do you think? *trollface*
'The hedgehog, naturally, was unsettled about needing to submerge himself underwater, but decided that it was still better than being caught in the emerald energy blast.'
Yyyyyeah, good choice. Definitely the lesser of two evils..
'Knuckles began breast stroking into the underwater tunnel down there, the same one Robotnik had escaped through'
Ahh, so he escaped. Can't say I'm surprised. The doc has a knack of doing that. Hm, wonder what he'll do with himself now.
'Just as they did that, however, the mountain on the dry land before them suddenly shook powerfully and loudly, as if being hit by an earthquake. Tons of rocks began to tumble down its sides, but they didn't notice that, as the same thing that caused it also generated huge waves in the water, and they were immediately swept up in one. At this point, Sonic was now grabbing Knuckles' hand directly and holding on to dear life, as even the echidna couldn't swim like this.'
And here I thought they were safe! It's good they got out of there BEFORE the mountain started shaking though, but still - waves! I like your wording a lot, what it says about the situation and the characters. Sonic was keeping it together before but now he's holding on as hard as he can. Ohh man, and even Knux can't swim in this..! :o
'Slowly the duo was lifted up to the vehicle, and its crew pulled them in with warm, strong hands. Once they were finally inside, Sonic started coughing heavily to get some of the water he'd swallowed by mistake out. "Thanks," he said hoarsely once he could speak again, "and you too, Knux," he added.'
Oh it's so good that they're safe. Sonic is freaking LUCKY that Knuckles was around. What would he have done without him? :o And even with Knux that was still a challenge. In more ways than one. Circumstances worked out in their favor for a change, though, with the helicopter rescuing them.
'"Yeah," Sonic replied quietly. Physically, at least.'
This could mean lots of things. The ordeal that just occurred with the water, his somewhat saddening conversation with Guerrez, the entire situation as a whole taking its toll with all the death and chaos and stuff, or some combination of the above - though Sonic's probably shaken more from what just happened than anything else at the moment.
Wonder what Knux thinks of all this. He's the only one whose thoughts about the war still seem a bit of a mystery to me.
'That got his full attention. "Tails? How is he?" he asked, sounding concerned. He always did when he hadn't seen the young fox in a while.'
And immediately the condition of his friend takes precedence over all else, no matter how uncomfortable he is. Indeed, I want to know about Tails too!
'In the distance, he watched in sorrow as large plumes of smoke continued to rise from the remains of Adabat City, obscuring the morning sky. Nearby, one of the ships launched a missile, which began to fly straight towards some target in the city, ensuring that the smoke would not subside for a while. Well, at least the city's still there.'
:'( That is so sad. With all they went through (ESPECIALLY Tails and Sonic, considering recent circumstances for both of them). It's unfortunate things even got this far, even if they do have some victories. I really love the wording though; 'obscuring the morning sky.' Paints a depressing but very see-able picture in my head.
It only took two and a half maxed-out reviews, but I'm finally done with this incredible chapter. Onto Aftermath. Starting to get that end-of-story feel (a feeling I always find myself disliking, even if things had ended happier - finishing a great story kinda leaves a bit of an empty spot)... things are winding down, for better or worse. I feel bad for Adabat. :/ But at the same time I like the realism you put into the story, and the risks taken by doing so. It's a very honest story, and indeed, things don't always end happily. But perhaps what DID end well as that Sonic, Tails and co. are still who they are, and still hold their convictions. They are lights that shine in the darkness, individuals that don't become part of the negativity around them. They're proof that there ARE better ways to do things, or at least TRY to do things, than always resorting to violence and killing. It's admirable (both the way you wrote this, and the characters themselves). You've put them in a very different, bleak situation that sometimes seemed hopeless but they never gave up and always tried to do things in a way that would turn out better for everyone. And I'm confident they'll always try to be that way, regardless of how the world around them changes. :)
I really should have saved that for the end of the review. Ah well.
'"Sonic," Tails called out again after he was done cringing, looking straight into those green eyes, "are you…are you okay?"'
...'A few seconds later, a big smile formed on Sonic's muzzle, and he unexpectedly burst out laughing. "Oh, Tails," he managed to say as he tried to bring himself under control while shaking his head, "I'm…I'm the one who's supposed to ask you that!" His laughter continued for a little longer. "I mean, seriously, you don't look so good. And I'm okay," he finally replied as he calmed down, "mostly."'
XD No kidding! What's Tails so concerned about? He should be worried about himself. But that fox is so caring and selfless, of course he'd ask about Sonic first, even though the blue blur is obviously much more 'okay' than he is. I like the laughter too. It's nice that they can still laugh. :)
'His mangled feet were wrapped up in bulky plaster casts, covering everything below his knees, and also propped up on a pillow. '
Yowch, mangled feet. :/ I hope they'll heal okay. Man, that was a HARSH landing for him.
'"Well," he commented with a slight chuckle, "this is going to be kinda inconvenient."'
Aww!~ Love his humor and optimism here! Inconvenient. Most people would be way more concerned/upset than he is. Man, Tails REALLY owned in this story. He started off so uncertain and has grown so much. I think I'd know he was your favorite character even if I didn't already know he was your favorite character. (Does that make sense? XD)
'"You okay, kid?" Knuckles asked, sounding genuinely concerned. It was quite rare to hear him talk like that.
"It…hurts everywhere," Tails admitted, then added more confidently, "but I can handle it. I can only get better from here, especially considering who'll take care of me. Thanks for coming, Knux."
"You're welcome. It's only appropriate," the echidna replied, also smiling now.'
Love this. It's nice to see Knuckles being a bit of a softie, simply because of how rare it is. I like Tails/Knuckles interaction, too. And Tails continues to be strong despite his injuries.
'KICKING YOUR ASS, it proclaimed in bold letters, WITH HIS OWN!'
OMGOMG. XD EPIC headline! Grinning right now.
'"And from the looks of it, I think it's already turning into an internet meme," Alan commented, looking at the laptop on the chair, "even Sonic doesn't have his own yet."'
XD! I can totally see that being a meme! Haha, this story really DOES seem cemented in our world. ;P
'"Neither am I, for that matter," he commented with a sad smile, "too bad, I really want to practice that new technique so that I don't end up like this again. And keep up with you, of course," he added while looking at Sonic with a wink.'
Aww! Love the wink especially. And it's awesome how he wants to be well again so he can practice and keep up with Sonic. Lots of ambition.
'Not only had he done something heroic all by himself, it was something only he could do, something Sonic couldn't have done or even helped in due to the flying nature of the threats posed by the X-1s and the absence of the Tornado.'
:) And yet he's still humble, as the following paragraph points out. He deserves to feel proud. He's felt weak or inadequate in this story a lot, and he definitely deserves to be happy with himself right now.
'"Well, not really…I was actually pretty scared that I would make another mistake or something and doom a lot of people." He smiled back at Doherty. "I was just doing what had to be done."'
Part of me wants to say that last part might be Sonic rubbing off on him, but another part of me wants to do justice to TAILS's character here, because not everything he does is because of his admiration for Sonic. Tails would have wanted to do his best and help all he could, Sonic or no Sonic. Nice to see this tiny bit of weakness here too, him admitting he was afraid he'd make another mistake. Very human and believable, and very Tails-y.
Holy crap, the donations! And Tails realizing how people really do care about him! Ahh, this is so heartwarming. *gets chills*
| DC111 chapter 13 . 1/7/2012
'It was strange, however. Sonic hardly even knew this man, and yet the bitter, burning and bloodshot gaze the hedgehog was getting from him was already clearly filled with a far deeper hatred than anything he'd ever got from Robotnik. Now that was truly saying something. If looks could kill, Guerrez's glare would be as destructive as the weapon in the other room, which Sonic hadn't learned about yet.'
That is strange. And very harsh. Yes, Sonic, you barely know this man - but he knows you. You know, this makes it easy to see why Sonic's enemies hate him so much. He is a really strong force. Robotnik and Guerrez both thought they knew exactly what they were doing, had things calculated down to detail, had done so much work. And then Sonic, one small hedgehog, just screws everything up, time and time again. (Along with Tails and Knux of course, but you know what I mean.)
One thing though; for some reason the way you worded the last sentence seems a bit too... I dunno, author's-note-ish? I like the comparison to the weapon in the other room; that part's great. But the 'which Sonic hadn't learned about yet' almost seems like you were TELLING the readers that, instead of the point being woven into the narrative itself, if that makes sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it might be better if it was a bit more subtle, something to the extent of, "...as destructive as the weapon in the other room. Though the existence of such a weapon was a mystery to Sonic..." Either way, nice foreshadowing. It made me stop for a second, because at first I just read it and moved on, then I was like, "...Wait." because I didn't even think of it.
'Sonic glared back hard, albeit not murderously. "If you're the guy who gave the orders to kill all those people in the city today," he replied, sounding at his most stern since his arrival on Earth, "then yeah, I guess I'll have to take you with me." Especially since he couldn't do the same with Robotnik anymore.'
I like the way you went about that first part. Sonic's no killer even if he is irked. Very irked. I'd be angry too.
'And in a way, it was.'
Oooooh. Just not the kind of weapon you'd imagine. That's harsh.
Wow. Guerrez talking at Sonic is very powerful. Oh man, this has become a morality war. VERY well done here, from Guerrez explaining why he trusted Robotnik, their similarities in their experiences, how he accuses Sonic of not seeing the big picture, and of not giving a shit about anything other than taking down Robotnik.
This part in particular...
'"Who's the bad guy now…hero?"'
Just sums it up so concisely and coldly. He's had his say, and he thinks it's that simple. I see that Sonic has some things to say about this, though...
'"I'm sorry for what happened to your family, and to that of the others as well. I'm sorry for not researching this country's history better. I can fully understand why you and brother established the ARA. Believe me, everything you've just told me, I've seen it first hand with Robotnik. My own people back on my home planet tortured and abused him, and turned him into what he is today. I could have stopped it from happening, but I didn't, and I've been trying to make up for it ever since, in the last ten years of my life. I know what it's like.'
Sonic. Always compassionate and tries to show mercy, even to his enemies. We know Sonic understands, of all people, with what he witnessed Robotnik experiencing. He knows it's hard and I believe he truly is apologetic. Not that that justifies Guerrez. Just like the old saying: two wrongs don't make a right. One thing though, shouldn't there be quotations at the end of his dialogue here? I know he was ending a paragraph, and if he had kept talking immediately in the next paragraph, quotes wouldn't be needed at the end of this one. But the next line was 'The hedgehog took a daring step forwards...' so I think the last paragraph would indeed have quotes at the end. I admit I'm not entirely sure about this, though..
'When he stops caring about what happens to anyone else as long as his enemy is destroyed in the process, he ends up creating new enemies who'll hate him in return for what he did to them or their loved ones, and won't care about what happened to him in the past. To a lot of people, he ends up looking even worse than his enemy.'
Yes, exactly! That's a great point. Guerrez has become the same type of person he hated. It's like a cycle. And this subtly highlights something very important about this story, too: Sonic and Tails AREN'T like that. They have not become something they shouldn't be in this fight, despite everything they've witnessed and been a part of. They are still themselves, and are still 'pure,' if you will - even if they've been forced to mature and see the harsh truths of reality in this process.
'You were definitely sincere about helping other oppressed people, at least at first.'
Hard to imagine Guerrez ever being like that. I do wonder if being in situations repeatedly like this would affect Sonic and Tails negatively in the same way it has affected others like Guerrez and Robotnik. I wouldn't think so. I wouldn't HOPE so. But then, I doubt Guerrez thought he'd turn out this way either, once upon a time.
'Let me ask you this: Can you honestly say every single person who got killed were people who were responsible for what happened to you?'
LOVE this. Sonic's saying all the right things here, all the things us readers want him to say. It speaks a lot about his own feeling on justice, and also of his intelligence since he's thinking about this deeply. A lot of people don't see Sonic as smart, and he is. (Not as smart as his two-tailed friend, of course - though they're both smart in different ways.)
'I won't judge you for it, nor agree with it, but I understand it. It's again the same with Robotnik. But still…you sure there wasn't any other way? To continue protesting without ever giving up? I heard similar things had happened in other countries, both in the past and the present, including America, I know, and eventually they succeeded or had some effect, didn't they? I don't know, but when I see it that way, it doesn't seem as futile as you think it is.'
You've always done a fine job with characterization, but this has GOT to be my favorite of Sonic so far in this story. This is the stuff. This is JUST how Sonic would think. He's not being judgmental, but he thinks there are better ways to go about this 'without ever giving up' and that eventually things would work out, and are not 'as futile as (Guerrez) thinks it is.' He has hope, and believes things can work out without all this violence, and is even trying to convince Guerrez - an enemy - to understand this. Giving him a chance. Trying to help him. Great job here, and with Sonic's entire novel of dialogue, but especially here. (And I say that with utmost respect; I LOVE all the dialogue.)
'I have to bring you in. But at the same time, I can defend you somewhat. I can tell the world that although what you did was wrong, you were not the one who started it, that you didn't just want to do it out of boredom, but as a response to real past injustices, and that everyone should learn a lesson from all of this, so that it never happens again.'
And the tragic part is that Guerrez just throws this all out the window (yeah, I read a few paragraphs ahead here). It's SUCH a shame, because Sonic gave him a chance, offered to DEFEND this monster because he wants to see the good in him and give him a chance to see the good in others and himself. That's how I see it anyway. What a shame. :/
'Sonic, feeling his heart sink,'
Yeah, Sonic, my heart sunk a little too. Well, ya tried. You know, I do hope Sonic can help Robotnik somehow, eventually. Get him to see the light. Especially because he just said that he wanted to help Guerrez just like he wants to help Robotnik. Who knows if it'd ever work, but... man, you've made me sympathize greatly with your villains. Their reasons are very real. The heroes might get something of a happy ending here, if they 'win,' even though so much has been lost already... but what about the 'enemies' here?
'and I'd rather Adabat die than fall under the rule of the oppressors again!'
No, that's not the way to do it! Oppression can be reversed, righted. Death is irrevocable. That's not Guerrez's deicision to-
'Sonic broke eye contact with the man for the last time and immediately jumped out into the main cave, into where he never thought he would be safe: the water.'
Wow. Frick. *can't think what else to say*
'His ears were definitely not going to be the same after this. Nor his psyche, for that matter.'
Ooh, nice wording. ;)
So that's it for Guerrez, then...? Though I always doubt it when it's assumed an enemy is dead..
'"There has to be a way, there has a way, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on…" Sonic was now pacing back and forth in the cave so fast that he was practically leaving afterimages as he struggled to think of anything he'd seen or learned that could work.
Heh, leaving afterimages. XD Nice.
FREAKING. LONG. CHAPTERS. XDDD I'm not even done with this one yet but I'm almost out of characters AGAIN. My next review will finish up the last chunk of this one I've got left to read/review, and also go into the next one.
...Yeesh, I don't even know HOW to be concise with reviews anymore.
| DC111 chapter 13 . 1/6/2012
'Author's Note: Really need your reviews on this chapter, guys. Probably the deepest one I've ever written, and I'd like to be sure I've done it right.'
Will do! This author's note has me anticipating this chapter!
'It appeared to be an aircraft of sorts, and there was a large scorch mark on the ground behind it, likely having destroyed a few dozen cars in the process of coming to a complete stop.'
I hate when that happens. *shot*
'Fortunately, he remembered, his Chrysler wasn't parked out there.'
XD Well that's always good.
"Yeah, let check it the hell out right now."
Tucking fypos. ;)
"Oh, please, Alejandro," he began after his laughter ended, "do you know how much pressure this thing is made to withstand? Your shots might as well have been ant bites. But you're welcome to keep doing it if you want to deafen yourself and Sonic, so that you won't have to hear what I have to say, and besides, you get to cause Sonic ear damage, which is better than what you've done all day!"
Heh, clever. If that's the best thing Guerrez has done all day... XD I also like that Robotnik calls him Alejandro. It makes him seem condescending, just the kind of tone he'd use. Even though Robotnik and Guerrez are BOTH our enemies here and I should dislike both of them, it's funny reading Robotnik verbally pwning Guerrez. XD
'Guerrez, however, was considerably less quiet. "Go to hell," he hissed angrily as he dropped the now empty pistol on the stone floor'
XD I like the transition. 'Hissed angrily' is a good way to explain how he's saying it, too.
'Now, I, on the other hand, was a little more ambitious. As leader, I planned on using the X-1s to bomb Angel Island and kill Knuckles so that I could take the Master and Chaos Emeralds. Then, once the government and military fell, I could harness their energy to make new inventions, and Adabat would be the only source of it in the world. Every other country would have to buy it from us if they wanted a piece of it, which would boost the economy back to levels no one had seen before. The country would need me, my knowledge, to survive.'
Robotnik's entire well-thought explanation is brilliant - not in the way that I think his plan is the way to go or anything, but in that he brings up some good points and that you, the author, thought all of this through really thoroughly. This part just stood out and drew a huge contrast between Robotnik and Guerrez, and highlights Robotnik's desire not for murder and revenge, but for control and domination. Very in-character. Have I mentioned that I like your Robotnik?
...Yeah, continuing reading after that paragraph I quoted, and I cannot stress enough how much great character is in Robotnik's explanation. His condescending attitude, his intelligence, his slight sense of dark humor, the way he sees himself, everything. Sometimes you forget that it's actually the AUTHOR who conceived moments like this, that it all came from the inside of your mind, just because it's really in character and such. :)
'"But, in a way, your behavior was a good thing as well. I used to be like you, obsessed with destroying Sonic and his annoying pals, while having only a foggy idea of what to do with the world other than turning all of them into my slaves. Seeing how you were like, however, well, I realized I couldn't be so short-sighted anymore! I had to be much better than that!"'
Wow, now it seems so obvious. THAT'S the reason for the change. He saw Guerrez and wanted to be better than that. Makes perfect sense. Good character building. :)
'"…until we meet again, Sonic the Hedgehog! This has been a most eye-opening adventure! Hohohohoho…"'
Yep, that's Robotnik's voice I hear in my head right now.
'He watched in pain as it disappeared into the opening, knowing full well he could never hope to follow it.'
Hur hur, wellll, authors don't tend to stick water in a Sonic scene just for kicks. Hm, wonder what could come of this.
'He was hurting, he was tired, and he so dearly just wanted to rest…'
Aww man, that poor fox. I'm glad he's kind of okay, though. At least I think he is... guess it's hard to tell just yet.
'As it turned out, his body was full of cuts and gashes, and the normally white fur on his chest and abdomen was now stained with streaks of red. His twin tails laid limply to his right, and he noticed that they were also bleeding in certain areas, having suffered similar wounds. Moving his head had caused it to hurt as well, and when he reached a hand up to his forehead, he realized it was wet, and sure enough, he saw that his glove was now soaked with blood. I already busted my head once, he thought with a frown, remembering what the ARA members did to him in the warehouse.'
...Or not. Yowch. Crap, that's rough. I don't think Tails has been hurt this badly in your stories before. I wonder if he'll still be able to fly, given the condition of his tails.. or even walk for that matter. Also, nice little callback to those moments in the warehouse.
'A hand appeared over him, and he quickly grabbed it without even thinking.'
Found this bit really sweet for some reason. Someone offers to help him up which is really nice, but it's telling of how far Tails has come that he takes the hand and gets up. Even though it's 'without thinking,' to me it seems like it still shows some trust in others, even if subconsciously.
'Due to his height, he had to climb onto a table that hadn't been knocked over before he could see outside of it, which again hurt very much, but he couldn't let that slow him down right now.'
Ah, he's being so strong. What can he possibly do from here though? Hopefully he can get some help. :(
'Since the X-1 was still there, that meant that there was still a chance that it could-'
Hah. Nice cutoff there. I seriously thought of this possibility at the same exact time the narrative suggested it. XD
'A cold chill ran through the fox's blood when he finally understood what it was doing. Robert Mayes and his family were very likely inside that building, and the plane, although having a crippled wing, might still be able to reach its minimum height for performing air strikes and stay there just long enough to launch an air-to-ground missile into the field office before dropping down again and likely self-destructing, causing even more deaths. It was just everyone's sheer misfortune that the X-1 happened to land right next to its target.'
Ohhh man, what horrible irony. And the only possibility that comes to mind here is that Tails HAS to do something. Though I don't know what.
'The agony his tails felt increased sharply, as if the cuts on them were being rubbed with salt, but he was too focused on the threat ahead to pay any attention to it.'
Your description here is painfully good. ;)
...'some of which had already started recording the action with their smartphones.'
'The missile was approaching the building fast, but he was approaching the missile even faster. He had a radical plan in mind, and it was likely going to hurt like hell, much more than his body did right now, but if it worked, it could save the field office from being destroyed while also making sure the X-1 itself was destroyed without the ensuing explosion harming anyone…except perhaps himself.'
Dude, this chapter is BIG, huh? Massive threat, massive challenge, and so much at stake not only for Tails but for everyone in that building.
'His sheer willpower and urge to make sure the plan worked, not to mention the adrenaline, were the only things that prevented him from passing out from the pain, which was now worse than ever.'
Those tails of his are like freaking limbs, I swear. And adrenaline is certainly a handy assistant. C'mon Tails..! :)
'There was enough distance between him and the huge explosion to save him from being vaporized, but not enough to protect him from the shockwave and the bits of fast-moving shrapnel and debris. The former forcefully pushed him down the towards the ground much faster than he intended while making him flip forwards in the air wildly, the latter added yet more cuts onto his battered body, and both caused him to scream loudly out of fear and pain respectively.'
And he was already terribly hurt already! Gosh.. (Lol favoritecharactersyndrome)
'As his feet came into contact with the grass, they immediately snapped with a sickening crunch, although rather than becoming louder, his screams abruptly stopped.'
Oh no. Frick. :o That's... ugh. Not screaming is worse than screaming in this case. Sickening crunch.. That poor kid. If he was okay at all before, he's not now.
'With the threat finally eliminated, the effects of the adrenaline that had been sustaining him wore off quickly. Tails slowly closed his eyes and was about to blissfully let the darkness claim him, to take him from the agony he felt everywhere, until he remembered one last thing he had to do.'
Man. Here -I- am feeling relief right along with him since he finally did it, and can relax now - and then he remembers he can't. :/
'He wanted to very much, however, and hoped he could get this final task done soon.'
I hope so too, for his sake. I don't blame him. He definitely deserves it. I got a lot of respect for Tails right about now. :)
'"Alan…" he mouthed, trying to speak up as tears came down his face in response to his agony, "…Doherty…please…"'
D: *heart breaks*
'Satisfied that he had done all he had to do, Miles 'Tails' Prower closed his eyes and went limp on the grass, immediately causing the crowd to holler loudly in horror. "Get an ambulance here!" Doherty shouted frantically to his coworkers, including Ryan Warner, nearby, "get it here now!"'
Damn right! Get it here NOW! Now I'm starting to think that maybe it's not such a good idea for Tails to sleep! :o
| DC111 chapter 12 . 1/1/2012
So yeah, time to finish reviewing this chapter! XD It's another long one (both the chapter and the review, lolz), so I had to read it over a few days, especially since things got a little unexpectedly busy there for a bit. Can't wait to read the rest of this, especially because of what you said in your author note about the next chapter. Still liking this a lot as it is, though, and I haven't even gotten to that point yet. :)
'As if in response to that, however, he suddenly remembered the vow he'd given earlier, and what Sonic had said to him. You can do it. Even Knuckles seemed to think so. There was no way he could go back on all of that.
Following these thoughts, he adjusted his grip around the controls. It was still tight, but less out of nervousness or fear and more out of renewed determination. He felt readier than ever.'
Ahh, how I love knowing what characters are thinking. Also, I like that you clarify he's got a tight grip on the controls out of determination more than fear. Love little details like that. Especially since Tails has grown a lot throughout this story. It's like you drew a contrast to how he was in the past.
'Let's do this. He flicked a few switches to ready the 20mm Gatling cannon, as it was the only weapon that couldn't be diverted by the ADS those planes had. His missiles were pretty much useless here, and could only be used if there were really no other choice. The cannon was loaded with 511 rounds and could fire up to 6000 rounds per minute. Every shot had to count.'
Ohh wow. At first, you're like, "511! That's a ton!" and then you read the rest of the sentence and it's like "...0.0" Also, "Let's do this." He definitely does seem more determined.
'Yawing right in the process, Tails only managed to get a small burst out on the other plane before it did the same in the other direction.'
For a second I read this as 'Yawning' and was like, 'Lol Tails? Tired at a time like this?' XD My mind just fills in less-seen words with more familiar ones sometimes. XD
'The fox turned his head to take a quick glance, and gasped as he saw large numbers of bright projectiles, bullets fired from the UAVs' own Gatling cannons, colliding with his wings, and soon the cockpit was filled with more warning tones, these ones being about the plane being damaged.'
:O Frick! That's not good! Man, tough fight! I hope he can right this!
'After several more seconds, the ejection seat Tails was still strapped to stopped moving upwards as gravity got a hold of it.'
Good wording. :)
'"Are you mad?" he actually said out loud, "if you detonate the bombs next to this thing, the resulting explosion would vaporize half the whole island!"
"It was what I planned to do if you didn't comply. It still is," Guerrez stated without even flinching, "if they tried to kill me, I would have made sure I wasn't the only one who died. It's what they deserve for betraying me. Do what I want, however…and it won't be necessary."'
Oh no. I do hope it doesn't detonate. :/ Man, it's always hard to tell which of these two has the upper hand. Robotnik should just go along with it. Didn't expect to see him in any semblance of a hero position though. (Not that he really is; it's just that regardless, it's kinda up to him now if the bomb detonates or not. :o)
'The hedgehog crouched and moved ahead slowly, just to see how little he-'
LOL, it's funny when a character's diverted attention interrupts the narrative. XD
'That was the moment Sonic genuinely comprehended just how screwed he was. He had only a couple of cubic feet to move around in, every wall around him was at least twenty feet thick, his oxygen supply was very limited, and not a single person knew he was here.'
Ohh, that's kinda scary when you put it like that. No one knows he's there and there's nowhere for him to go, nothing he can do. Jeez. What can he DO?
'What was that you were saying about being lucky again? This wasn't luck, quite the opposite in fact, as he was going to die one of the worst deaths he could possibly imagine, slowly and painfully, with no way to end it sooner.
There was no other way to put it: Sonic was scared. Frightened. Horrified. Powerless. Helpless…'
And I didn't even need to say all that, because the story exposes the severity of the situation on its own. Good job here. Gosh. That's all I can think to myself is; what can he possibly do? What can even happen from here? On a rather related note, I must repeat that I love when you delve into characters' thoughts and feelings. It's just something I really like in stories for some reason. Pulls me right in and holds me there.
'At what, he had no idea, but the thought of just going out with a whimper and nobody even knowing like this because the same damn thing just kept happening to him…if he were to die, he would have liked it to at least do so in an epic battle or something. He much preferred his death to be determined by his own self or even Robotnik, not by freaking chance of all things.'
Hell yeah! I agree! I'd be mad too! I certainly wouldn't want him to go out like that. It's so pointless. A tunnel collapse.. and like you said, the possibility of no one knowing what happened or even where he is.
'In his rage, the hedgehog decided to curl into a spin, as that was something he thankfully still had enough space for, before rolling back and forth with increasing speed, having decided that he would get the hell out of here, one way or another.'
Yeah, knew he'd do something. If there's no options, he makes one. Hmm, I wonder what he remembered about Tails. I feel like I'm supposed to know what this idea of his is, but if it was hinted at earlier in the story I'm not remembering it at the moment. Either way, like the mini-cliffhanger here. Though I do hope we see more of Sonic before the end of the ch- oh wait, the rest of the story is up. That's right. :P
OH! Lol! The answer is right after the break because Tails is thinking about it too! Never mind then. XD
'energy signatures of the Chaos Emeralds, or something very close to them, inside his and Sonic's bodies, and were concentrated at the areas where their displayed their abilities the most.'
Riiiiight! Knew I was forgetting about something.
'And boom was exactly what happened, as Tails instantly found himself rocketing forwards. The sudden and massive increase in speed startled him, but only briefly, before he began staying on focus. He was now traveling much faster than he ever had in his life under his own power, thanks to the fact that his tails were now, in fact, being successfully used as twin jet engines. This was what Sonic had to feel like all the time!'
Ahhhhh! He's going as fast as Sonic! That's so cool! :) Tails IS freaking fast, and a lot of people forget that simply because Sonic's faster. Awesome! Also, zoom and boom ftw. XD
This makes me curious; did you have that idea way ahead of time, and purposely set it up by that examination with Cheryl; or is it all improvised and this just happens to fit into place with that whole exam? Either way, awesome. But just wonderin'.
'Feeling much more relieved and confident now, Sonic repeated the procedure several times, and each time he managed to drill a couple more feet. He just hoped that the end of the tunnel he emerged from would be the correct one, if only to give Eggman quite the surprise.'
I'm just relieved he's creating some space for himself! More air! That's the most important thing here. I mean, yeah, he's got to get out. It's dangerous in there, with the possibility of more explosions or just being trapped there forever, but neither of those possibilities would come sooner than running out of breathable air! x_x
'"Well, if it isn't Sonic the Hedgehog. Again," he said flatly through the sub's hidden loudspeakers as said hedgehog got off Guerrez's chest. Both Sonic and the thin man stood up to glare at the mad genius, albeit for different reasons.'
FINALLY Sonic and Eggman face each other! I think I've been subconsciously waiting for this. Also I liked that last sentence for some reason. :3
Can feel the end-of-story-tension building up here! :D
'He tried to slow down, but in the end, he didn't do it fast enough before crashing straight into an office building's windows. The fox blacked out almost instantly upon collision.'
Man, this story has some great action. Well described and lately it seems to me you've gotten really good and blending action and character together to make it something memorable and exciting. Not that it wasn't before, but you know. :) Great job on this. And sorry for taking so long to even finish this one. But I trust that ya understand. I'm a (very, very, VERY) long-winded reviewer and I'd rather take my time and be able to tell you all this stuff even if that means not being able to read it all in one go. :)
P.S. HOOOLY SHIT I just almost lost this entire review! :( I had left the box open earlier, then accidentally logged back into FFN instead of reviewing anonymously, and got the 'you have already reviewed this chapter error message.' THANK GOD that FFN saved it! WHEW! I'd have never been able to type it the same again! :o Okay, let's try submitting this again! XD *highlights review, hits ctrl & c just in case this time*