|Reviews for Moments|
| Maccoda chapter 2 . 8/28/2011
Your story has the potential to be good, but it is diffucult to read because of the grammatical errors. For example:
Finn and Quinn had there discussion as Rachel looked on from over the mirror.
The English language is full of problems like the one presented by there, their and they're. Most native English speakers pronounce these the same way; therefore, it is difficult for some to judge in which situation to use which spelling. Each spelling means a very different thing.
Use there when referring to a place, whether concrete ("over there by the building") or more abstract ("it must be difficult to live there").
Use their to indicate possession. It is a possessive adjective and indicates that a particular noun belongs to them.(My friends have lost their tickets.)
Remember that they're is a contraction of the words they and are. It can never be used as a modifier, only as a subject (who or what does the action) and verb (the action itself).Example: I'm glad that they're so nice to new students here.
The second sentence of part two is:
The blonde one saw Rachel being obvious but didn't care right now because Quinn was getting into this so as Finn walked off.
Quinn was getting into what? It seems like you should have used a comma instead of a period after the word "off" to continue your train of thought.
Like I stated earlier, I think this has potential, especially if you work on your grammer and sentence structure.