Reviews for Night of the Living Wheatley
Raven chapter 8 . 7/15/2013
aww why'd you end it like that?
i'm sorry to day but that wasen't that good of a story.
i would have said this for the fall:
as she fell into the blackest of blacks she'd ever seen blacker then a starless moonless night she felt like she would or was dead 'so this is death? not as i had thought' she closed her eyes and blasted a portal below her pointing her boots in that same direction and waited...
something like that if you want more don't try to get more that was just a suggestion.
i don't have an account i just use the name.
RubItInMyEyes chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
I think this has been your best story I’ve read yet! The ending is excellent, a very strong finish full of well done action, horror, and emotional payoff. Their fates are all pretty much perfect—I was tearing up at Matilda’s goodbye. It’s beautiful that she finally found a friend in Chell before leaving society forever to live out life in her element. I’m sure she and Chell lived out contented lives. And I liked that Chell seemed to find some peace in closure for her time knowing Wheatley. It’s great that it ends with the classic horror trope of the arm jutting out—I guess his underwater contemplation time left him even less amicable than his time in space!

It’s been incredibly flattering and entertaining to read something inspired by a picture I made and really fun to read a genre that you rarely see in the Portal fandom. Well done!
thepunishment chapter 8 . 1/10/2012


Although I am sad to finally see the story finished, I'm so happy to have seen this story from start through to completion. Discussing it with you this whole time has really been a blast, and it's been fascinating to watch the way you developed these characters into such beautifuly fleshed-out individuals. In the end, their fates really mattered to me, not just because of my previous attachments to Chell and Wheatley, but because you made them (and Matilda) into people worth caring about (or, homicidal androids worth caring about, in his case). This story could not have ended better-or, rather, more appropriately. I am so glad that Chell finally found not only her freedom, but also a sense of peace with her past, and that Matilda was able to enjoy happiness for the first time in her life, despite her lingering attachments to Wheatley.

And the ending itself, the real ending, is just fantastic... such a horror trope that I should have seen it coming, but that doesn't take away how frankly satisfying it is to read. Since I am the sort of person to read horror stories, I am also the sort of person to enjoy it when the 'bad guy' comes back at the end. Especially when it is the most twistedly vile incarnation of Wheatley I have ever read. I can only imagine the hell he would (will) give GLaDOS, and Atlas and Pbody... I won't even pretend that I think they'll survive. But that the story ends right at this point, with that fantastic little gut-punch of "oh everything was mostly nice except NOPE" is a great storytelling choice. You've left absolutely everything to implication there, but the strength of the story preceding it allows the reader a very vivid mental image of what will surely follow. We know what he's capable of, we know what he wants (no, not that) and we know that GLaDOS was not immune to his attacks before... but you left everything to the reader to extrapolate. I appreciate that. Not telling too much and letting our imagination go crazy is the mark of a good storyteller to me.

The character arcs you developed over the course of the story were fantastic as well. Particularly Matilda, whose quest to find some companionship cost her more than she could have imagined when she found the cute little sphere in her garden, and yet in a way still succeeded in the end. To know that she still had lingering feelings of remorse for Wheatley is, I think, both very touching and believable-despite the awful things he did to her and to everyone else, and despite how greedy and demanding and thoughtless he was from the start, he really was a friend to her for a while when she really needed it. Matilda's rapport with the co-op bots is really sweet and underscores the comfort she felt with robots (relative to humans) and her dogged acceptance and lack of response to GLaDOS's taunts leads me to think that she really was happy where she ended up.

Chell's story is satisfying as well, in that she finally cut all her ties with the facility and was able to live her own life. I really loved the way you characterized her throughout this story, it felt so true to what we know of who she was during the game... tough and uncompromising, but not without her humanity. She is still every bit the survivor she has always been, but rather than allowing herself to be weighed down by the terrible things she's experienced, she instead has the strength to accept what's happened and move on to live her life. Her thoughts regarding Matilda and friendship are really lovely and give their story a nice sense of closure, too.

Wheatley himself remained mysterious at the very end, and I think that's quite appropriate. I did enjoy the glimpses you gave us in his mind throughout the story to highlight his unbalanced, irrational ways of thinking, but here at the end it just feels right to not know exactly what's on his mind. In removing the reader from his head following his descent into murder and madness (and then a pool of acid) you've maintained him as this terrible and unknowable Other whose motives are a mystery. Wheatley changed so much over the course of the story in becoming the monster he ended up as. He began as a contrite and helpless little sphere, greedy as always, but also desiring reconciliation with Chell. As he became more attached to Matilda, his old covetous feelings rose again to include her, and with the realization that neither of their lives would revolve around him (and the sudden bestowal of an incredible amount of power) he spiraled into a self-feeding loop of paranoia, hatred, and violence that produced the monster at the end of the story. I don't know if his mental state at the end was a result of faulty programming, his own personality shortcomings, or simply an expression of who he has always been (but never had the strength to express), but as a character and developing antagonist he was riveting the entire time.

Another note here, though there's no good place to put it-I love your language in this chapter. I can't think of a good way to put it, but the way you described certain things here, such as Chell's difficult waking, her physiological response to the confusion and the panic, her final exit from the facility... it was nearly poetic. Extremely well-done, and I found myself reading over some of the phrases multiple times just to 'hear' them again. I've always liked the way you describe physical and emotional details like that, but in this chapter you really outdid yourself.

So, in conclusion... thanks for the ride. The amazing, freaky, gross, terrifying, enthralling, and poignant ride.
Monster-House-Fan92 chapter 8 . 1/9/2012
Too lazy to log in at this moment, it's quite late.

Onto the actual review now.

Just wow... you left me pretty much speechless. Ended that on a perfect note. Leaves more open to the reader or even a sequel (not that it needs one, it's perfect on it's own!)

I'd honestly recommend this to all my fanfiction reading friends, I really enjoyed this story! :)
thepunishment chapter 7 . 12/10/2011
(I write essays because Unsigned likes them and I like to write them)

Wow, I really loved the intro to this. So, so creepy. A deeper insight into Wheatley's mindset through all of this was something I was really hoping for, and you pulled it off fantastically. The slow and methodical way he works through these thoughts, puzzling out the differences between himself and 'his' humans and the conclusions he draws-it's really chilling. Especially the way that he seems to have so completely dissociated himself from the two of them. He was so (almost) sweet at the beginning, and now... his thought processes are so alien and irrational it's terrifying. But at the same time it's perfectly reasonable for an AI.

Chell's understandable anger toward Matilda is made all the more evident by the fact that in this section she thinks of Matilda not in terms of a suffering human being, but of a necessary tool to survive what's to come. The way she regards her in thought and word bears that out so well here. In a way, she's almost as coldly calculating to Matilda as Wheatley is at the beginning of the chapter-which is quite interesting to me. Her 'motivational' speech is really brilliant, a fantastic summation of Chell's character and outlook on the world in this fic. So much power in that. She says so little that every word in that passage means so much.

I really enjoyed the inclusion of the Different Turret in this, as well as her subsequent... end. The inclusion of this bit of mythology and history adds even more depth to this story. And such horrifying imagery when Wheatley caught up to them (god, I could just hear when he attacked it!) made my heart really ache for the poor, helpless thing.

All that said, you continue to do an amazing job writing action sequences. Throughout the thing, from him tearing up the walls to the very end, I could see it, I could hear it, I could feel it. My heart was pounding through the chase and I think it may have skipped a beat as Chell closed her portal. Wheatley's laugh and salute were perfect.

And the ending to this chapter is just... wow. It's almost dreamlike. The way time slows down as something terrible is happening, this captures that feeling perfectly. The imagery is beautiful and strange and I can't think of a better way for this chase, this entire ordeal to have ended, though I know you had quite a few ideas yourself. I can't even mourn for the character of Matilda because this feels so right for her. And for him, too.

This is some of the best writing I've seen from you, out of everything you've written. Really stunning work, and I can't wait to see how you conclude!
Monster-House-Fan92 chapter 7 . 12/9/2011
Was just thinking about this story today!

This fic still has me on the edge of my seat, and the fast paced action really sets in the feeling of terror. Really enjoying this still :)

The ending to this chapter would've been a perfect way to end the story, but I know there's a bit more left. And I can't wait to read it :)
A.R chapter 6 . 11/4/2011
Kevin Thompson? Do I smell a Daria reference?
rubitinmyeyes chapter 6 . 10/17/2011
You got that classic slasher horror intro of the dumb brats who are doomed as soon as they utter their first swear word, and it’s all great fast-paced action from there. I’m glad Chell has the good sense to ally herself with Matilda, for both their sakes. It’s funny how these horror stories get less depressing when everything finally goes wrong and folks are running for their lives! I’d almost be optimistic for their chances, but then now they owe GLaDOS… I want to beg you for a happy ending but I cannot bear to sway you from your original intentions, whatever they may be. I must not deny you your nature. Your frequently sadistically upsetting nature.
thepunishment chapter 6 . 10/17/2011
Whoa, in the interests of not posting something so terrifyingly long again I'll try to keep my thoughts concise: Really loved this chapter too! And I'm impressed at how fast you're writing this. You must be on a roll.

I love that you've brought back (well, briefly) those punkass kids from earlier and Wheatley's treatment of them is just terrifying. I love that he really does not give any kind of a shit about anyone but His Humans and that he's being so coldly calculating about the best method to kill those who stand in his way. It's making me wonder if this is due to Wheatley gaining power again, or if it's always been in him to act this way, given how little he cares for humans.

Nice little character moment between Chell and Matilda before everything hit the fan. Your descriptions of the action when Wheatley catches up to and pursues them are thrilling and really scary, and I'm enjoying the callbacks to chassis Wheatley.

Although everything is damn well grim at this point, their interactions with Atlas and P-Body were pretty adorable. And I enjoy Chell's fleeting thoughts of what Matilda might have 'done' for companionship, and questioning her own feelings toward her old nemeses. Chell going silent was a great touch, and I have to say I love this GLaDOS. Very appropriately bitchy to everyone.

This is taking a direction I certainly didn't expect (I never even thought they'd go to the labs) but I'm really excited to see where you go with it. I have faith that you'll end this in an appropriately creepy and/or horrifying manner.

There. Fewer words, same amount of love. :)
thepunishment chapter 5 . 10/17/2011
I just realized I wrote an essay instead of a review. Oops.

First, I want to say that I love that it began in medias res—a rarely used technique in fics, and one I really love. I think that the format you’ve chosen for telling this story, shifting POV as you go through the action, is great. And I like that the style of your writing shifts along with the POV, that really helps the reader get into the mind of whichever character we’re experiencing at any given time. Chell is very introspective and prudent, whereas Matilda is at once nervous and coldly clinical, and Wheatley is blunt and very simplistic. All of this works together so nicely that in any given portion of the story I can feel myself siding with the character currently ‘speaking’—even Wheatley.

I like that you took the time to develop Chell’s character more in this chapter. She has obviously lost none of her previously cautious and inquisitive nature, as shown by her quick realization of the incongruous details of Matilda’s rumors and her later snooping. But she has gained a fierce loyalty to a person she feels some connection to. I may be projecting slightly, but I think that her resolve to help and support Matilda is very telling of her personal development since leaving Aperture.

The fact that Chell stood up to the gossipers for Matilda isn’t surprising to me given Chell’s usual defensive nature, but her hopeful reflection afterward is so sad in the context of the story as a whole. It seems that the only thing each one of these characters really needs is a friend. They’re all outcasts in one way or another, and in this chapter they have each finally acknowledged what they need more than anything else is each other (in varying configurations and desired situations). And that might actually be attainable for each of them… it’s a pity things can’t ever be so simple.

I also enjoyed reading about Matilda’s awkwardness in the store. Her failed attempts at subtlety put a smile on my face—the image of her just clomping loudly across the floor as she flees is pretty funny, and very fitting to the incredible awkwardness of her character.

Chell’s reaction to the empty core really struck me. The fact that she did acknowledge at least a twinge of regret for his end, and show some understanding of his character flaws—well, I’m just glad that she didn’t kick the thing and say ‘good riddance.’ She went through too much with him not to offer him just a bit of reflection and some (late) understanding. Though Chell knows that what Matilda ‘did’ was the best course of action, I’m glad she stopped to say goodbye—in a fashion. The scene of her closing his shutters was quite powerful, one of the strongest in this chapter, and I really hope someone tackles that in a drawing.

I think I mentioned before that Matilda’s lies (or half-truths) are some of the most tragic parts of this story. When he interrogates her (lovely scene by the way, his demanding, assholish attitude really shines here) she does not explain what she is doing to prepare his body. I’m almost certain he wouldn’t bat an eye at her telling him she’s stolen a corpse to build his body (after all, he thought humans dunked in acid were neat) but she persists in her own vagueness, fueling his dangerous paranoia. It almost seems like she won’t outwardly say it not to protect him, but to protect herself—like she can pretend that she isn’t guilty of a horrible crime at least until the words are spoken. And in her own frazzled state she has no idea that Wheatley is forming all the wrong conclusions about everything. That’s what I find especially poignant—and what I love. Miscommunication. Powerful stuff.

I adored the autopsy scene, and all the nice, gross little details about what she did. She’s made of much sterner stuff than she gives herself credit for. And the image of her dragging a bag of bones and brains out to the garden to bury is just fantastic! I’m intrigued by the choice of wire rather than thread to sew up his body—intrigued in a good way. The image I have of this (supported by Rubit’s drawing) is really terribly grotesque and I love love love it.

Despite what he does in the end, Wheatley’s reaction to being in a ‘body’ is adorable and a little bit heartbreaking. I love the idea that he immediately begins treating her as she treated him, because he’s the bigger one now so of course he’ll be doing the holding from now on, that’s how it works, isn’t it? The idea that he is so attuned to the physiology of the women as their bodies react to different things, and that he expects the same for himself but is disappointed is also intriguing. It seems that over the course of his time with Matilda he’s grown to want something more than simply Chell’s forgiveness—he wants to be able to feel good again, the way he realizes Chell and Matilda can feel in their own bodies. And his conclusions about how that all works, and why he can’t feel it yet, are so tragically incorrect.

One thing that I find very interesting about this story in general is that each character has their own honorable and dishonorable (or rather, unselfish and selfish) motivations in doing things. Chell wants to help Matilda, but she also wants a friend. Matilda wants to help Wheatley reconcile with Chell, but she ends up resolving to keep him for himself to end her loneliness. Wheatley wants to apologize to Chell, but he also wants Chell and Matilda’s lives to revolve around him, to be able to possess them and feel powerful again. Very complex characters in a very messy situation.

So: awesome chapter, cannot wait for the next part and for Chell’s reaction to….. absolutely everything.
Monster-House-Fan92 chapter 6 . 10/17/2011
Another chapter up so soon? Once again, my day has been made :)

The whole 'Wheatley claiming Matilda and Chell thing' is just down right creepy. It's just awesome, seriously.

I'm still enjoying this, although some parts seemed to go by too fast, but that's minor. Everything else is just great.

I await the next chapter eagerly! :)
A.R chapter 5 . 10/15/2011
Oh, chilly! Great horror story. I never liked the book Frankenstein, but I always found the concept interesting. There's some passive voice outside of the dialog, but nothing major and it adds a little bit to Matilda's passive and fearful nature and the unsure-ity of the situation. While you note there is gore you don't focus on it an mostly breeze over it keeping the audience from seeing it. Keep it up. By acknowledging something horrific, but not showing it in detail, it becomes even more chilling. This is a great Halloween story! Good job. :)
Pete's Dragon chapter 5 . 10/14/2011
Move over Stephen King.

Unsigned you are a GOD (or GODDESS?) of Horror. You scare AND inspire me. GLaDOS wishes she was as frightening as you are.

Keep writing (and update Delicious and Moist while you're at it, please!)
Silvara chapter 5 . 10/14/2011
Five sort of short chapters. That's what it took for the horror to take on. And the feelings, oh my the feelings! The simplicity of things from Wheatley's point of view is making everything so more tragic under all the morbidity. I think Martha’s stupid. Besides of being pathetic. Because the two are different things ; but her naïve / stupid ideals about robotics was given away chapters back. After playing Portal 2 and having read so little fanfiction yet, this makes me think, and see GlaDOS differently. I can’t help but hope to get at least a bitterswit end. And perhaps some chelley? Friensip chelley? Anything to make up for this grand mess. When you said this was based off rubitinmyeyes' evil Wheatley I wen to check on who’s that person. Well. Oh my. x_x I’m not one for horror. Really not. So why I do I feel compelled to read that? ValvAperture’sdonethingstomybraiiin! T_T
TARDIStoaster chapter 5 . 10/14/2011
This... this is... so... morbidly... awesome...
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