|Reviews for Forget Berlin|
| summerpoint chapter 26 . 8/24
WOW! This story was full of angst, turmoil, drama, sadness and more. This was a fatf soap-opera that we probably would never see in the film, because they'd rather show things blowing up, but is vital to showing the emotional and physical after effects that occurred when Dom left Letty in the DR. I'm glad that Letty didn't just fall back into things with Dom. I honestly HATE how Dom always left Letty, and I especially hated when he left her in the DR; it was the most cowardly and viscous thing that he could have ever done to her. In your story Letty went though so much pain as a child she had no family (even when they were alive it seems) and the most important person to her leaves at the drop of a hat to "protect" her. I don't think that Dom would've left Letty if she was pregnant though; when Mia told him she was pregnant, the look on his face made you realize that he was going to stick around. Even though Dom was a tool for leaving Letty, the last flashback you posted made me feel sorry for him. It's obvious that Dom thought he was doing the right thing by leaving Letty, and it's obivious that he was still grieving over her "death." It took him too long to see the error of his ways though, and it took him too damn long to apologize and put the blame on himself. At the end, you could tell that Dom was trying to do right thing and I'm glad Letty realized that he was going to stick around.
What Letty endured in her life was absolutely traumatizing so I'm glad that Leon was there for her though it all. I understand why Letty said that she can't go through her pregnancy without Leon, he was her knight and shining armor and always protected her, but I also understand why Leon told Letty that she had to leave, he picked up the pieces when she was broken and if Dom broke her heart again, he wouldn't be able to repair her and he probably wouldn't be able to watch her have a mental breakdown. It would be great if they made peace with one another though, they're a tight knit family. Leon's wife knowing that he loved Letty was spot on and he didn't lie about it either. I wonder if Dom knew about how Leon felt about Letty. You left us in on a cliffhanger with the flashback Anicka and the possibility of Tomas not being Leon's child. I wonder if he knew about her relationship with his boss and if he knew the kid might not be his.
I loved the team getting together to find Letty, pull another heist and reminiscing about the past. The dialog between them was able to offer laughter and happiness among sadness. I also loved how you portrayed Elana, because she comes across as a lovely person who understood the pain of losing your soul mate.
There are a few lose ends in this story but I know it's been a few years since you posted this fic so I don't think that a sequel or epilogue is going to happen. Anyway, thank you for this wonderfully written story.
| Guest chapter 7 . 7/2
Why does every interaction between Dom and Letty require violent and anger?
Do you think that is a healthy relationship? Or love? It is not.
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/2
The flashbacks were confusing. Dom cheated on Letty with some blonde girl. Instead of beating DOM up, Letty attacks the blonde girl and then has to be held down by Vince and Jesse. Why would they hold her down instead of letting her yell at Dom?
At least Letty broke up with domnfor that instead of taking him back.
However eight months went by and you didn't show is any evidence that Dom even tried to apologize or get Letty back. Nothing.
And now after his dad dies we are supposed to believe that Dom loves Letty? Kind of hard to see when the only back story we have is him cheating on her and then being angry and sniping at her for 8 months. Not exactly the actions of a man in love...
Consider that when you write. If you want your readers to believe your characters feel something you should either show us their thoughts or better still show us with their actions.
| Guest chapter 26 . 6/23
I'm sorry but did Dom really wait for months to say to letty
""Baby I'm sorry. Leaving you, taking away your right to decide what to do with your life? That was awful. But everything I've done since I've been back is worse and I know it." He told her, his voice gruff with emotion"
He didn't apologize to her until now?!
You are kidding, right?
That would make him the biggest asshile in the world! Makes me wish she had truly left him and found a better man to make her happy.
| Bri chapter 2 . 7/22/2014
First of all, your writing structure is great, but you have a problem with characters and plot. Dom doesn't really seem like himself. To me and what I've seen in the movies, Dom would never treat Letty the way your writing it. He always supports her, cares for her and loves her to death. He would never talk down to her. And since when did Dom make decisions for Letty? Letty is her own person. A rebel at the most. She moves to her own drum. And all the stuff about her being rape and beaten is highly unlikely. Letty is very peculiar on her surroundings, doesn't trust anyone right seat and kickass. You make her seem so soft and shes not that girl. Also, for Dom, he does not have anger issues. He pretty much is calm, its hard to piss him off. He would only get angry if his family is being harm. He would never get so mad with Letty. He loves her too and treats like a queen. In other words, he listens to her.
Like before, your writing is fine, but your plot is rushed. Also, the going back front from past to present gets annoying and can ruin the overall plot. He could keep them, but put them in a chapter every once in awhile.
I wish good luck and no hard feelings.
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/23/2014
Ps. Is EVERY flashback going to be of Dom hurting Letty? Leaving her behind? You should pepper in some flashbacks with good stories otherwise it sounds like the biography of an abused and neglected girlfriend...rather than of a relationships with ups as well as downs.
We are not seeing a lot of "good times" and love between Dom and Letty to suggest that they were ever good together.
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/23/2014
I LOVED Dom's meeting with Letty!
Letty " torn between throwing up and crying" refusing to talk to Dom.
I absolutely LOVED how you wrote Dom's emotions too, the mixed emotions of seeing her.
Best part:. "He fought the urge to jump up and sweep her into his arms, tell her how sorry he was for every time he had every hurt her, as he watched her lift the bags off the floor. His heart was crushed as he saw the look of utter disdain in her eyes every time they flickered over to him."
So Dom IS capable of feelings other than rage...?!
So, How come through the rest of this story Dom never actually tells her "tell her how sorry he was for every time he had every hurt her"?!
What the fuck is he waiting for?! It's like he's only regretful when he doesn't have her and as soon as she's right in front of him he become angry and yells at her and tries to shift blame to her. He NEVER gives her a heard eat apology (not until the very last chapter, which is too late in my opinion).
In glad Letty leaves his cheating, disloyal ass in the elevator with Han. Dom needs to suffer more before he has a chance at getting Letty back!
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/23/2014
The flashback was interesting. Particularly because it shows us (again) the pattern of a smug and cocky Dom who orders Letty around. Even when she thinks it is a bad idea. Sadly it also sets to the fact that she continues to let him treat her like that. Too bad because if someone would have stepped up and smacks him upside the head nearly on and cited him of his arrogance, they might have been able to have normal lives.
And of course we have Dom's famous line:
"Ride or die, baby," he said into her hair.
Too bad that doesn't mean that he is loyal and gainful for her until the end. I guess "ride or die" only means that Letty just be loyal to Dom until the end, not vice versa!
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/23/2014
Fantastic chapter! The emotions are amazing!
Dom frustrated wih not being able to find Letty has his first bit of insight:
". I don't even fucking know her anymore and it's my own fault."
Yes! It's just too bad he never really says this to her after he finds her. He's too busy being angry at her and blaming her instead of kissing her feet and apologizing for this.
Oooh. And when Leon finds Letty after she's been raped and beaten was horrifying and yet so amazingly written! Leon struggling to be super gentle with her while he is raging against those whom hurt her (Dom should take notes in this because later in the story he seems incapable of being truly gentle with her. Despite seeing her faint, swing her scars while she's sleeping, seeing the cigarette burns-all we see from Dom is him grabbing Letty and holding her in place NOT him being super gentle with her like Leon is here. Thank God for Leon saving Letty!
And Leon throwing up in horror as he realizes what Letty went trough! Too bad Dom never gets that same visceral response. All Dom seems to show is anger and rage.
What beautiful writing: "Leon scooped her into his arms as gingerly as possible, every part of him fighting to be as gentle as possible while his entire body was consumed with rage. She was still too light, too easy for him to carry and lay in the backseat of his car. It wasn't until he moved to cover her with a jacket that he saw the blood & fluids on her thighs, along with a handful of cigarette burns.
Leon waited until he was sure she was as comfortable as she was going to get, a second jacket tucked under her head and his plaid shirt wrapped around her ice cold feet, before he walked behind his car and threw up. His entire body shook with fury as he got back in the car and drove faster than he ever had before, straight for the Czech border.
WOW! So evocative!
And Letty's tirade against Dom was perfect! I just wish she ever had a chance to say this to Dom's face!
"He was supposed to love me, Leon. He promised he would always protect me, no matter what. But he didn't. He made us pull a heist that we didn't want to and instead of pulling me out of my car, instead of taking me somewhere safe, he made you do it. He left me alone in Mexico and Venezuela, left me with Tego and Santos in the Dominican. I got shot for him and he probably didn't even go to my fucking funeral. He cheated on me when I was sixteen and I still ran back to him, did anything he told me to, for more than fifteen years."
"He's not – " Leon started before Letty interrupted him.
"He's dead, Leon. As far as I'm concerned that man is fucking dead. And Leon? You're not the only one who can keep track of people. You go back to him whenever you want, but I'm not showing up and breaking up his happy home with that cop bitch. They deserve each other."
Fantastic! Like I said. I just wish Letty could tell him all this to Dom's face! He clearly never seems to get the fact that he has CONSTANTLY hurt her, cheated on her, left her behind. Too bad.
| Guest chapter 8 . 5/23/2014
This section with Letty was fucking awesome! Way to sum it up:
Letty looked at the table, refusing to make eye contact. "Dom left, Leon. He left me in the Dominican. He didn't even bother with a note like when he did it in Mexico and Venezuela. I was the idiot who followed him around South America like a fucking puppy and risked my damn life to get him off so he'd come home. He doesn't want it, Leon. He doesn't want me."
That explains in a nutshell how Letty feels about how Dom made her feel when he left her-like she meant nothing to him.
Dom needs to hear this himself. To make up for this somehow. (I recommend him groveling in his knees for her forgiveness).
| Guest chapter 7 . 5/23/2014
Another great chapter. But why do you have to make it clear that Letty is miserable. It's like she has zero chance of happiness without Dom - which is bullshit. Don't make her that girl who is completely at the whim of a guy (one who hasn't treated her well for years) to be happy. Sure she can be hurt by him but to paint her as literally incapable of being happy without him is insane!
Letty has been through some serious shit and it's not like Dom can suddenly make it all better just by popping into her life with a "oops, my bad that leaving you led to down the path where you were raped and beaten nearly to death... But now I'm back and since know I've decided to be with you, you lucky girl, You should be totally cool..."
And Leon bringing up fresh hurt in Letty by accidentally mentioning the beach was great. But it just reminds us how much Dom leaving her hurt Letty, the sense of betrayal she felt!
Your writing remains superb!
"Letty felt like she was going to suffocate. She knew Leon hadn't meant to say it but his words were like a punch in the stomach. Her head was instantly filled with images of Dominic, his smell, his voice. She shook her head hard, trying to shake out every trace of Dom. "It's fine, Le. At least when you say you'll protect me it actually happens."
OUCH! But true. Dom never seems to keep his word with Letty does he?
And this part was so sad and poignant.
Leon:This way he made her relive one of the growing numbers of times she had gotten hurt as a result of Dom making decisions for her.
Sounds like Dom was constantly fucking up Letty's life! It wasn't one bad decision to leave her bit a pattern over time of him hurting her, making decisions for her, etc. Will he ever learn? Or is he that same guy he was for a decade or lore of them being together...
PS regarding the flashbacks...
what's with the excessively volatile relationship they had as teenagers?! I totally understand occasional drama but was there never one moment in their prior relationship that was decent? In which they weren't yelling and fighting? No wonder they are so messed up.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/23/2014
Lol Brian is the voice of reason here!
"Oh Christ. Great. And we all just instantly believe that it was really Letty, she's been alive all along, and your brother who does nothing but drink alone in his bedroom is going to go rescue her? Not to mention Germany has a fucking extradition treaty with the U.S."
ROTFLOL! Brian's sarcasm is hilarious here!
"Fine. I'll whisper that this is the most ridiculous fucking thing I've ever heard. ...The only good that is going to come of this is Elena not having to clean up after a guy who doesn't notice she's alive."
"Letty was all he had, Brian. The rest of us were his family, but she was his whole world."
Maybe, I am not convinced she was his while world. The way he treated her in the past doesn't convince me of it...hopefully he will convince me, and Letty, that he actually loves her!
And WOW the last flashback was amazing. Sim seeking solace with Letty after his dad died. Well written! And we see his uncontrollable temper come out back then too when he beats Lindner nearly to death. I always thought in the movies that Dom really changed in prison- that nearly killing a man taught him to control his temper - but here he is still the same hot head, punching holes in walls, destroying the hotel, threatening people into telling him information. It does not bode well that Dom is not more collected as a grown man than he was as a teenager!
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/23/2014
Ok. Wow! Great flashbacks- although it is so sad that you set up the fact that Dom has been hurting Letty literally from the beginning of their relationship! He cheats in her! Bastard! And it looks like the is the first of many times he's made her cry. I hope he suffers (a lot) before he gets back together with her...
And PS next time you write Dom cheating on Letty please have Letty go off on DOM not the other girl. Dom is the one who betrayed her when he cheated, not some random girl. He is the one who owes her loyalty and he is the one who should get his ass (or maybe balls) kicked.
I am so glad though that you show Letty kicking his ass to the curb and moving on to another guy (at least temporarily). Dom needs to learn the lesson that he can't behave like that without consequences and Letty refusing to be with him when he's an ass was AWESOME! I can only hope that you show us some Improvement in their past relationship - show dolmtreating Letty well at some point in their future and not just a continuous stream in him cheating on her, flirting with other girls and generally disrespecting her.
I love your description of Dom's "knees going weak" when he smells Letty's scent in room 422. Scent is such a good trigger for memories!
I love that Leon tells Dom that Letty is sleeping with another guy (note that Letty didn't cheat on Dom but is broken up with Dom when she moves in to a new guy) and excellent that she's not moping around pining for Dom (who cheated on her). Good girl Letty!
I love that Leon and Mia call Dom out on the fact that he doesn't get to be angry that Letty's with another guy because they are not together. Too bad he doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes...
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/23/2014
Ok so we now know that Dom seems incapable of any emotions other than rage and anger. His violent temper is NOT endearing. He doesn't seem to show a lot of other emotions like: fear that he won't find her or that she hurt, sadness that he's been without her, hope that he will find her, joy that she is alive (even if she's not with him). Don't let him be so one dimensional. And hasn't he changed even a little from the angry hothead he was as a teenager?!
And do we HAVE to set the stage they Letty is miserable? Can't he believe that she's happy? I think it would be a bigger blow to him to know that after he left her and forced her to be without him that she eventually moved on... But we get to hear that Letty is " here, she's miserable, and she doesn't want to be found."
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/23/2014
Ok! I love that it is clear from the start of the story that Dom is having a hard time with lettys "death", waking up drunk on the floor of the bathroom. I always HATED that he seemed to move on so fast with elena in the movies. It always seemed so disrespectful of Letty and like she didn't really mean much to him.
I love that he is "numb".
I love that Elena is a stand up woman (way better than Dom's sorry ass deserved in any case). Her words to him about having a second chance with his love are beautiful.
Nice set up!