|Reviews for Shades of Blue and Yellow|
| kidscatscuz chapter 3 . 8/15/2013
This is kinda of shitty story. Call 911? I'm American and I know they don't have that. Also a niggle hospital? Why? Are they staying at Sirius's mother's home? You probably don't care about this story now.
| Patronusmagic chapter 2 . 12/13/2012
This fic has promise. However, there are glaring grammatical and spelling errors throughout. All through this chapter, and the one previous. You said your when its supposed to be you're. It gets quite annoying after a while.
Remember to capitalise the start of speech and end it with a punctuation mark. Inside, not outside of the speech brackets.
The story flows OK and from what I've read so far, the plot is pretty solid. The sentences are a bit lacking in structure in some places but in most they are perfectly fine so I wouldn't brood on that too much.
Remember to keep your paragraphs the perfect length. Not too short or too long. Which you seem to have to down to a tee so kudos. This is not a flame, merely constructive criticism. I found that CC helped me grow as a writer and I daresay it will help you too.
Even if you've finished the story. CC always helps. Don't be too downhearted, like I said - it's a great story and I'll continue to read.
| Talitha Clearwater chapter 1 . 8/15/2012
He is about to get a SEVERE reality check when it comes to Harry's attitude!
| 1withthepotionsseveroussnape chapter 3 . 2/8/2010
wow that just got a lot darker. i like your fic.
| helbaffy chapter 2 . 10/28/2007
interesting story... i look forward to thenext chappy! :)
| Riker15 chapter 21 . 7/28/2007
| Maegwin chapter 1 . 6/11/2006
Sorry, but your punctuation is all wrong, to such a degree that it makes it hard to read the fic. Commas should be inside quotations: "Sirius is the hottest thing," she said, instead of "Sirius is the hottest thing", she said. And if you have another punctuation inside the quotes, you don't need a comma after it. It should be "Why is Sirius so hot?" she asked, instead of "Why is Sirius so hot?", she asked.
So, since I'm anal about that sort of thing, I didn't read the story, but I read some of the reviews, and I have to say kudos for making Hermione the meanie and Ron the goodie. So often it's the other way around (even when it makes no sense), that it's gotten horribly predictable, so yay for you doing something totally different :).
| fjjfn chapter 1 . 7/25/2005
that was a exelant start to what i hope will be an exelent you should be prould.
| SafirePhoenix chapter 3 . 1/14/2005
why in the world would a couple of wizards call 911?
| sami1010220 chapter 3 . 4/28/2004
i'm not going to be able to review for a while, so i just wanted to say that htis is a good story so far. i can't imagine what harry will be like after this. how are sirius and remus going to treat him now taht harry tryed to kill himself? don't worry, i'll review soon.
| Firebreath Scarred chapter 21 . 1/18/2004
| linky2 chapter 3 . 1/9/2004
| Wynjara chapter 13 . 11/9/2003
That was mean. ;)
| Acacia Jules chapter 3 . 8/29/2003
Madame Pomfrey gave the wrong advise for a a person who just commited suicide.
They can be left alone. In fact, they need to be. To think things through. They just need to be checked on everynow and then sometimes. Most of the time, they don't try it again right away, nor will they try it ever again, because they realize what a huge mistake it was.
To over-crowd the person is a HUGE mistake though. That will make make the person who tried to commit suicide nervous and tense, and feel like they can't think. And mostlikely, more willing to try to commit sucide again, only this time, they will be craftier, and have a more serious intent. All due to the overcrowding of the 'friends'.
People who have tried to commit suicide have to be given space, and time. You shouldn't pressure, bother, pester, nag, someone in that state, or try to force them to talk. Especially if you don't know what they're going through.
| whipsnake chapter 21 . 4/22/2003
what the bloody hell u mean u 'not gon make a sequel u have too! we gotta find out whats gonna happen and whos harry gonna go with(if any) dracos rumor hermione EVERYTHING u have too u bloody have to i loved this story but u cant just up and stop i learned the hard way (way inspired by Barb of course) but u have to write a sequel its like should be law or somethin!