|Reviews for Not Stalking Zuko|
| Ozuma thy Awesome chapter 13 . 9/17/2011
Hammock... Lol. SO HAPPY!
Zuko hiding in a mango tree and her just passing under.
I loved this...
| donnacrunch chapter 13 . 9/17/2011
Fiction pet peeves:
out of the blue events, such as when two characters who have spent almost no time interacting directly with one another suddenly end up together. Seriously, I've seen it happen in canon. It's retarded.
In fantasy or science fiction or whatever, when a character has super awesome fantastical powers- And thats's the only characterization he or she really gets; and\or that character is the only one in the entire story who is that awesome.
When a main character has no real flaws. Flaws make characters feel real. When one is too perfect, the result is gagworthy and not believable. on the other side of that, though, characters can't be all flaws. They need a redeeming quality or two.
When plots resolve too fast, or when the main characters don't go through any real strife before they achieve victory. It's not a powerful story unless someone somewhere down the line makes some sort of sacrifice. Nothing is free, and characters shouldn't be given handouts.
That's about it for that, so now onto the review!
Hurray for Z\K snuggling! It's sad that Zuko had to be a sad panda for it to happen, though. Poor Zuzu :(
You know what's hilarious? I read this chapter on my phone and at the top of the mobile page was an advertisement for Mayan Hammocks xD no joke !
I don't think Katara taught Aang how to heal in the series because he wouldn't physically be able to. Remember what Jeong Jeong said? “only a select few Waterbenders have this ability” [meaning healing]. Aang is a Waterbender, yes, but he identifies mainly with Airbending [yes, I capitalize bending. Don't ask]. Also, I got the impression that healing for a Waterbender is in the same category as lightning-bending for a Firebender or metalbending for an earthbender - none of which Aang is able to do. And really, no Avatar should be able to do all that. No one person should have that much power.
Wow, this review is long. If I haven't already lost your attention, then to you I say bravo and good chapter (:
| treena-ivy-carter chapter 13 . 9/17/2011
A real pet peeve I have is OCs, not the good OCs, but the really annoying OCs that are "perfect characters." I mean OCs that are master benders, with cool scars/tattoos, pretty, and that overdone perfectionism and that screw with the canon in major ways. I mean SOME OCs are pretty good, they don't end up with one of the main characters, they actually contribute to the plot line and aren't the plot line, and they don't do anything too major, such as killing Ozai or something. A good OC for exaample would be unattached to the main characters like not some sister or romance idol, and would help the character development in a character.
Anyway... LOVED THE CHAPPY!
| Charmed-Ravenclaw chapter 12 . 9/17/2011
I just remembered another few things I hated! Maximum Ride by James Patterson has to be one of the worst books I've ever read. I don't know how it got published. Sadly, promising premise, poorly written. Books that give you hope and don't fulfil are the worst. The guy can't remember what his own characters look like. At one point he has the main character describing herself as blonde and next she's a brunette o_o. And there was no description of hair dye in there either. It also has a bit of the Bam! you're related to some random! in there too.
Plots don't get resolved and end poorly are bad too. Sadly my favourite author K.A. Applegate is guilty of this in the series Remnants and Everworld - a lot of plot devices came up that are never resolved. And it never gets nicely resolved in the end either because she lost motivation to write at the end of both series :(
Things that end cornily are bad - In my opinion Harry Potter had a really cheesy ending - where everyone has grown up paired off and had kids with the names of everyone else in that universe. I honestly thought it looked like it was written by a fanfiction author at that point. I guess I don't like endings where people are all happily paired off and in families - I guess because its too happy for me when I know in real life things are going to be more complicated than that.
Books that treat their audience like their idiots incapable of deep meaningful or mature thoughts are pretty bad too. I thought Maximum Ride had the potential to be thought provoking and get people to think about issues concerning science. I actually ended up writing a fanfiction of how I sort of wanted it to go instead. Two Weeks with the Queen by Morris Gleitzman is also something that annoyed me too. I was 12 when I read it and so was the protagonist. But I thought he was an idiot for thinking that he would honestly get an audience with the queen. It was quite stupid and naive for a 12 year old (I certainly wasn't that naive at that age). I also hate it when protagonists are boring pieces of cardboard - I wasn't a big fan of Rowan of Rin.
I think something you could have fun with is that the canon shippings are so awkward in Avatar :D You can point out certain characters having poor chemistry! I really don't think Katara and Aang should have ended up together - they really didn't have the right chemistry and yet the creators plodded along with it anyway. Same with Ginny and Harry - I didn't see the chemistry. Zuko and Mai are also... I did like Mai's line: "I love Zuko more than I fear you". But it's a bit weird and convenient for the author/s when people from their childhood can end up together when in real life you can go through so many people before meeting the right one. Or maybe I'm just a cynic.
Random characters pairing up just because they are leftover too also peeve me off. Like, in the Avatar fanfiction universe, say we have Zutara and Sukki - and then we get Toph and Aang left over so they must be paired up so no one is without a couple and everyone is happy (no offense Taangers). Or like Marauder era Harry Potter fanfiction - James is with Lily so they put Remus and Sirius together simply for convenience - because they don't know any other canon characters to pair them up with. JK Rowling does this too in my opinion. The overly happy ending and you find out all these random pairings... weird in my opinion. And apparently Twilight ends the same way. Although I haven't read the series I did hear about the ending from a few people.
I think this is the longest review I've ever written! I hope you find it useful!
| Charmed-Ravenclaw chapter 13 . 9/17/2011
Pet peeves aye? If you're doing what I think you're doing with Love Amongst the Dragons, I'm not sure if my fanfiction peeves such as highschool settings or Mary Sue OCs will really count. But to me, it sounds live the Avatar equivalent of Twilight so far. So I guess a plot device you can nick from that one the love triangle. The age old love triangle. Or the supposedly overperfection in a guy. Or supposed bad grammar and spelling errors. Although to be honest I can't really think of anything that REALLY peeves me off right now, and I don't really care about that franchise - haven't paid enough attention to it.
Soap opera's have 'love' children in them. And suddenly people they thought were dead are alive. And their suspense is horrible. Oh wait, I know what I hate now! That sudden plot device where you suddenly find out people are related. You're reading along, totally shipping this couple and then bam! It's incest. And you're sitting there going ewe... yet I still want them to be a couple. Happens in Vampire Knight :S And the whole typical 'Child of Destiny' thing. You know, in a fantasy novel the protagonist is typically a young orphan, gets some mentor and then finds out he has a grand destiny of sorts. I wish there was a fantasy out there that didn't really follow those lines... I know avatar does a little but avatar is special :D
Teenage girl writing style is something that does peeve me off though. When it feels like perhaps the book should be describing more action and it goes on about melodrama involving a guy instead... :S There are so many books with promising premises but I just couldn't stand the teenage girl writing style unfortunately. Not to say anything about ur fic of course :D I read urs because I ship Zutara and I want the fluff :D
Wow. Went on for quite a rant here. I hope you find this helpful before the next chappie :D
| lazyguy90 chapter 13 . 9/17/2011
That a big stupid island sized turtle that had never been mentioned before knew the secrets of Spirit (or was it Energy? Whatever) Bending. That's what I hated. A big goddamn, swimming, cheesy as all hell, Deus Ex Machina. Please add a giant ludicrous plot hole dragon to sink Suki's enjoyment of the book. I think it'll be a fun reference.
Anyway great work as always. Can't wait to find out what's in the letter. Keep at it.
| pinksmurf101 chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
I think my biggest fanfic pet peeve is when character names/places/certain canon things are spelled wrong. it really irks me
| nightcoremoon chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
Oh, that was a dirty trick. Iroh's room instead of Ursa's? Gah! Completely unexpected.
"Never get into a hammock with someone unless you're in a relationship. I once got into a hammock with my cousin: he and I haven't talked since."
It's too bad that Zuko didn't pelt Katara with bits of twig in payback.
I hate Deus Ex Machina, continuity errors, ignoring your own canon, and situations not resolving themselves in the most satisfying way. And corniness. Hopefully that helps.
| roflZuko again chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
Yup. Not logged in again. Tell you what, though. Next time, when I'm not dead tired, I'll log in. It probably makes you no difference, but I'll do that anyway.
WHAT'S IN THE LETTER? *tackles* Lemme see! :K
*cough* Now that all pretenses of dignity have been lost, I'll go ahead and say that this was another very enjoyable chapter. Poor Sokka. Hawky will return someday.
Only to be sent away again, I'd imagine.
Your soapy request leads me to believe that you're looking for random Love Amongst the Dragons points to have the different characters be upset/happy about. Okay. Here's a classic romantic and tragic twist that is definitely overused, but still gut-wrenching when applied well. Someone dies in place of their true love.
Or, going into detail that I'm tossing out, someone who was previously paranoid of injury and basically afraid to die sacrifices themself because, in their true love, they've found something worth dying for.
Or maybe someone turns out to be secretly evil or secretly good (depending on how they were originally portrayed). There's a lot of that going around in fiction everywhere too, but we love it anyway.
You, of course, have to use neither of those.
| Kimberly T chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
Bloody bones, now you've got me curious as hell about that letter from Lu Ten! What did Lu Ten have to say to his then-nine-year-old cousin?
As for pet peeves and bad fanfic elements: My biggest pet peeve is bad spelling / poor grammar, but if you're planning what I think you're planning then that info is useless to you. And you've already brought up the infamous long-lost twin/close sibling, so... hmm. What other items cause me to automatically decide against reading the story if I see them in the summary? Ah, yes; Dual Bending! If any character besides Aang starts bending both fire and water, I start bending farther away from the computer screen. (Vathara's story 'Embers' is the sole exception to that rule, because... dude, it's Embers. I don't agree with everything Vathara's doing in that story, but its sheer awesomeness would impress even Toph!)
| Irako of the Desert chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
This was also a fun chapter. You and me can open up an IKEA in Avatar land and make millions! Plus, I've always wanted to live in one. It's even better than Costco!
I don't know much about plot devices in soap operas, but I can definitely point you towards a place that will have lots of information about it (which I have a sneaking suspicion you might have heard of). is a wiki that labels practically everything used as a plot device in any sort of tv show, and usually tells you where it came from. You can learn what exactly the Godzilla Threshold is and what Draco in Leather Pants refers to. I'm sure you'll be able to find exactly what you're looking for.
| PermanentlyFrozen chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
Omg *o* I love it! Some cheesy plots are the 'capture' fics, one that happens ALL THE TIME. You know, when tehe girl is captured by a 'bad' guy, and eventually they fall in love, ( so romantic) even though their love was never meant to be. ( This may or may not pertain to Zutara specifically). I like how you kept Zuko in character, he really wouldn't have opened up. :D
| AnnaAza chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
Ah, the trouble of hammocks. I tried to lie on one during a vacation, and it swung wildly and almost collapsed. What idiot put a hammock near THE EDGE of an...uneven surface?
I think Aang is taking too much into Katara's stalking. For one, he didn't to like her seeking out Zuko, but he was okay about it when she said it was because of his safety. Psh.
If I were Katara, I'd accidentally injure him or cause hot soup to splash on him while he helped me so I have an excuse to touch him...shirtless.
I thought that Lu Ten's ashes would be there, but I was thinking that he was a prince and died honorably in battle, so he had to be buried in the palace grounds, like in a tomb for the Royal Family. Unless Iroh kept some in a box or something, but as he was too distraught to give Zuko the letter (I wonder what it says!), he probably wouldn't carry around the ashes.
Cliches? Hm...how about dead people popping up all over? The "gee, you were supposed to be dead!" thing gets old after awhile. Maybe about "once he/she looked at him/her, she/he knew that the person was his/her soulmate." Something like that.
| anonyMOOOOOOSE chapter 13 . 9/16/2011
great chapter! and i think a reaaally cheesy pot device would be: 2 people getting stuck in a desert island heh yea :D
| moonspirityingyang chapter 12 . 9/16/2011
I've always believed that the 'born lucky' comments implied that it was a priledge for Zuko to be born, but I've never considered a premature birth. Bravo!
I loved this chapter. I love how you delved into the background of Toph and focused on her family dynamics. I believe she is a very complex character and her family issues were just glossed over by the creators.
And I wuv! the Zuko and Toph dynamic. Toph is Zuko's non-homicidal badass little sister he's always wanted. Yay!
I was beaming during the scene in which Katara is checking Zuko's heart and when she leans in closer and his heart beats faster... that gave me butterflies.
I don't blame Katara for coppin' a feel, it's hard to resist all that raw sex appeal.
Hawky and Momo's epic battle was hysterical.
I love Sokka! I love his Hawky voice! Gah! This fic gave me warm fuzzies, which is seriously commendable considering that I just took my first Intro Psych test, which was a bitch.
A cold hard bitch!
But I digress.
Keep the warm fuzzies coming!