Reviews for The Fool's Journey
Anmynous chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
Excellent action scenes! Those always make me nervous that they'll get cocked up, whether I'm writing or reading, but some can get it right.

I'm not entirely sure about emphasizing actions like the jump in that way of putting them on separate lines, but it did the job.
EsRegnet chapter 1 . 9/20/2011
You have a knack for drawing your reader in, and you have beautifully descriptive scenes. I Really loved how almost every detail felt alive and real, and the simplest motions were illustrated, making this feel very character oriented. The scene this sticks out to me in is where Balbanes pours the potion over the wound in his side right after drinking it, Simple yet effective measure of showing just how you believe the potion is supposed to work.

There are some grammatical errors here and there, missing capitalization and a word or two that were smushed together, but closer proof reading will fix that up no problem. Over all, this story has absolutely amazing potential,and it was rather well written. I look forward to more chapters!