|Reviews for Charlie and Stella's love story|
| AdriDee chapter 2 . 4/5
I'm really enjoying this story, so far. Very good writing. A bit of constructive criticism, though: be clearer when discussing multiple "she"s and "he"s. It gets confusing when there are multiple characters being used. You need to be specific who "he" or "she" is. For example, in the beginning of this chapter, you're discussing Stella and her mother and use "she" multiple times without emphasizing who "she" is: is "she" the mother or Stella?
For example, on the first paragraph, the correct way to have written it is:
She had loved her father very much but he had never been present to the great despair of her mother. Her mother [not "she" because previously, you were using "she" to refer to Stella] had married her father hoping that his activities would stop, but they only continued and in greater dimensions this time. When Stella [not "she" because there are two females you're discussing now] came to the world...
Honestly, I'm really enjoying this story. Good job!
| AdriDee chapter 1 . 4/5
Looks promising, so far. Good job. :)
| castiel chapter 12 . 11/29/2011
I just saw the movie for the first time and i love your story! it is so amazing, i wish the movie had been more like that! o well!