|Reviews for The Wrong Twin|
| Sunshine-Midnight123 chapter 1 . 9/1
I like this but please consider acquiring a beta (a fellow author who edits for you). It was hard to read through this and as such I unfortunately have to pass on continuing to read this but don't let that discourage you! You've got some pretty cool ideas!
| IntrovertedSoul chapter 2 . 8/27
Ik im annoying but i swear to god this is my last review before chapter 26. Andit was all to make this one comment... This chapter was so heartbreaking! Poor lily, stuck in despair the rest of her miserable life. Albus, you infuriate me with your pathetic excuses to use the 'bwl' for your own gai- i mean the greater good! Other than that, your grammar errors are killing me. Please edit.. I suppose i can understand it which is good, so thank you for that.
| IntrovertedSoul chapter 1 . 8/27
Love your writing. But, being the nerdy bitch that i am.. would like to point out your grammar mistakes! You forget to capitalize letters at the begginging of sentences... That would be your number one problem. It really wouldn't take that much effort to edit it. Pehaps you could use less common vocabulary words as well as it will help with some people with their lack of education which leads to a slowly decreasing intelligence.. that applies to me. Really, i should be praising you. You can do better than i could ever do. But i dont really compliment people, i criticize. Like i said, imma bitch. Grammar problems aside, however, yu have an amazing introduction to the story and im looking forward to where the plot goes. U are my new inspiration, right next to Jk Rowlig herself. *wow, im making a big deal over something as small as a fan fiction* I hold you in the highest regards-your biggest fan * Ill type another review when im finished reading and give my honest opinion.. beware.. im very blunt. But so far you got me hooked.
| setokayba2n chapter 27 . 8/27
Waiting for the next chapter then...
Also, it's a surprise that Dumbledore is still in good light, too bad Rita was not there, because the ammunition is great.
Chapter 8... The ministry trying to separate them, Durmstrang is not in england, so they can't say negate him if he go there. Maybe it could be good to tell the Daily Prophet about how the Potter throw their child away and now the ministry is forcing their mother to maintain away.
And the other chapters give some bullets...
With the help of chapter 9 about how he suffered a crucio, let's see how they explain that Hogwarts is safe and secure.
Or a little of chapter 11 about how the great boy who lived sended another student to the infirmary... And if they threaten to kick them from Hogwarts, then follow, let's see how Dumbledore explain to kick 1/4 of the first years
Chapter 12... Put a dangerous item like the stone in Hogwarts, and a cerberus... More bullets.
Chapter 15... Rumors about how 'The boy who lived' poisoned and blackmailed another student and how the leader of light did nothing more that suspend him a couple of weeks.
Chapter 20... Breach of the statute of secrety, steal a magical car, and Dumbledore does nothing.
Chapter 21... Gilderoy Lockhart lessons and Dumbledore saying it was a good professor... Accusing Harry of petrifiying Norris, when he have a allibi and when in the chapter before did nothing to Daniel. No veritaserum of pensive memory.
Chapter 22... Abuse in Hogwarts... And Dumbledore doing nothing... Also, that a basilisk seems to be there and Dumbledore still doing nothing instead of call the DMLE.
Chapter 24... Another time is in the infirmary, and yet I doubt the ministry will know anything. Or the parents.
| Kenka chapter 27 . 8/26
Just out of curiosity, do you mean Durmstrang or is 'Drumstrums' a different school?
| Child of Dreams chapter 18 . 8/26
They're pregnant, aren't they?
| Child of Dreams chapter 17 . 8/26
Give the diary to Daniel.
| KarisTasogare chapter 26 . 8/25
highly suggest 'cleaning up' this chapter a bit. it seems to first read Harry is alone, then suddenly Hermione is with him. very confusing.
as to the next, bad form, a note that the next chapter is 3 months away is not appreciated. as alerts go out and one expects to have a chapter to read
| Olaf74 chapter 27 . 8/25
*removes his Jaw from the floor*
You are full of surprises! In the positive turn i mean.
Please continue the story very very soon.
| Guest chapter 27 . 8/25
Why have Harry not disowned himself from the House of Potter, on the grund that the Potters a blood traitors.
Why did Harry not swear an oath, that he will never sit foot on any property belonging to the House of Potter.
Why doesn't Harry always adress the potters as lord and lady Potter, that way they will now that he doesn't see them as parens.
Why is Harry so weak when it coms Down to Lily potter, she and James are blood traiters and they only care NOW because he has magic.
| TGYREU8 chapter 27 . 8/14
update this story!
| leseratte207 chapter 27 . 7/12
is your laptop okay by now?
| Guest chapter 27 . 6/15
Are you really. Goin to finish this ?
| Guest chapter 4 . 6/14
I'm honestly not posting this to hate, but "drumstrums"? It's "Durmstrang". I feel like the plot is awesome and all, but you could have done better with execution.
| ceara1888 chapter 27 . 5/3
Great story, its sad to see that you've stopped writing it. I was hoping to see what happened to Dudley and Harry.