|Reviews for Halo: Artificial Life|
| NobodyEpic chapter 11 . 11/12/2012
Another good chapter! And is the green AI Cheif? Or is it someone else? The 'green fatigues' part threw me off, because I thought he was in his armor. Anywho, keep up the good work and update soon!
| Splittah chapter 11 . 11/12/2012
This was a really good read. Few spelling mistakes here and there but the story is coming along quite nicely. Bit confused though with the AI in green fatigues, is that Chief's AI or someone else's? Him being in different clothes threw me off. Anyway, enjoying the story a lot, keep it up!
| NobodyEpic chapter 10 . 8/5/2012
It's alright. Better late than never, am I right? And I hope you and your family are feeling better! Anywho great chapter, and good to see that your writing skills haven't faded the slightest bit in those months you were gone! I can't wait till Jersey gets in on some action. Update soon!
Funny thing is that I was going over my fav/following stories lists I saw this one and was wondering if this was gonna be updated anytime soon. And two days later BAM there's an update! I was pumped!
| jarhead762 chapter 2 . 1/21/2012
Perhaps, you could be a bit more...specific with the tech at the time? Two hundred years and no change on small arms? Not saying that you didn't out I tin future chapter,s but I'm kinda of a war techie
| John chapter 8 . 1/7/2012
Some spelling and grammar mistakes, and I don't know much but a Sergeant is a noncommisioned officer. They don't get saluted or called sir or ma'am. Aside from that, HURRY UP AND WRITE THE REST OF THE STORY! It's good. Like damn good. "Omnipotent" Spartan AI training a Spartan 2 1/2 for missions against futuristic covenant, with the aid of elites and marines with blacked out files... Like I said, damn good.
| Colonel-Mustard1990 chapter 8 . 11/19/2011
Just read this through from start to finish, and I've got to say it's pretty good, all in all. I like the rather gentle pace you've got set for this, and the idea of the Chief being made into an AI in order to survive is a pretty cool one, all in all (poor Cortana, though). Generally, your writing is pretty good, though you do seem to confuse some words, such as decent and descent in the beginning lines of Chapter 6 (that being the 7th part posted up).
If I've got any critique, though, it's probably that, except for you saying that 200 years have passed, I'd probably say this game was set a couple of years after Halo 3 at the very most. It seems that all the usual suspects for the bad guys are present, all the tech is the same aside from the anti-rampancy measures. It just strikes me as wierd that after two centuries there would be no advances in tech nor any changes in the power balance in the galaxy. It doesn't overtly ruin the story, and maybe I'm just being overly nit-picky or something, but it strikes me as kind of wierd.
| ShadowWolf087 chapter 7 . 11/2/2011
And one more for the night, since you have so thoughtfully provided another chapter.
"The man beneath it was pale as expected of a corps." This is not the corpse your are looking for...
If you're feeling fwordy, another way to say 'scissor cut' is incision.
"was that he disliked images of dissected humans. Dead or living." Creepy thought, that.
"...and the bones as coated for greater density..." Replace 'as' with 'are' for better readability and understanding.
"...while they were augmented, that is was not..." You've got some confused tenses, there. Perhaps you are missing a 'th'? (no, no, I don't have a lisp, nor am I an Igor, why do you ask? :3 )
"...or maybe she had some secret power to dim the lights where she walked." Ahahaa. An undiscovered ability of ONI spooks!
The Doctor snuck in to your fic in the next paragraph . Watch out for him, or he'll cause you untold problems.
Until next time! If you post more chapters, I WILL read them, as I am a voracious reader, which can be a pain if I can't find anything good to read. Hope to hear more about our favorite Spartan-turned-AI, soon, too. :)
| ShadowWolf087 chapter 6 . 11/2/2011
And I'm back! Time to devour another chapter.
"Office of Naval Intelligence technician Frank Davijan nearly spilled his coffee in surprise at the appearance of his superior at his shoulder." Hilarious.
"Everything was scrambled and out of order, but always coming back to one thing, "Wake me, when you need me."
She never did." Awesome stuff, there.
"Not willing to wonder about the endless desert..." I suppose wonder would work here, too. Gives the scentence a different meaning, especially when one is lost in an endless void.
"If the light was offering a way, out..." an extra comma snuck in, there.
"Normally he could read the code like a book, seeing 'blond, burnet, and redhead' instead of ones and zeros." I believe you mean 'brunet', unless burnet is a hairstyle for pyros or something?
"He was about to check in the status of the AI when..." Did you mean on?
Davijan is an awesome name, btw. Interesting names, the rest of them.
"I want you to turn him loose on the Insurrectionists nd Covenant..." Be on the lookout! We have an 'A' on the loose!
One question, what happened to the recovery team? Keep it up! :3
| ShadowWolf087 chapter 5 . 11/2/2011
Hello! Thought I'd drop by and leave a review. I read up to chapter 3 whenever it was you posted it, and was intrigued.
I love well-written AU's, so many different possibilities!. It's interesting seeing what other people come up with for what Bungie didn't tell us. Intriguing idea, by the way. Am adding this story to my watch list so I don't miss any more updates.
On to the review. Just a few spelling mistakes that I saw.
"Every member of the crew had been put on ice for the duration of the trop." I think you meant trip, there. :3
"...helmeted heads as dirt, debrief, and organic bits rained down on them." I didn't know a debrief could rain? Maybe if it was particularly boring, I suppose. You should watch out for falling debris, though. As a safety measure, yanno.
To finish off, love your ideas on AI's, and Slip's remiscing. Do AI's dream of electric sheep, I wonder?
Keep up the good work! Please don't make me follow this story in vain.
| and Others chapter 3 . 9/19/2011
You're doing really well, barely any spelling mistakes, perfect! I like where this is going, please update soon!
| fail chapter 3 . 9/15/2011
you do realize with what is going on with halo four this whole story is a moot point right. i mean the chief is alive and awake and heading towards a massive artifact presumed to be forerunner.
| SammiexKnightxMagic chapter 2 . 9/10/2011
I love thisand can't wait to read more, please start updating again, I would love to see what happens with Master Cheif and Cortana :)
| Godzilla2 chapter 2 . 9/5/2011
i like the suspense. look forward to reading more
| Charlie chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
The chief better not be dead. -_-
| Mr. Helljumper chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
Can't wait for the next chapter